


A Soldier's Love

by FallenAngel69, Pixie_Queen24 (FallenAngel69)



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Community: cookleta, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Male Slash, Military, Minor Character Death, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-28 02:34:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 77,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18202340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenAngel69/pseuds/FallenAngel69, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenAngel69/pseuds/Pixie_Queen24
Summary: They fell in love in High School and then Cook joined the Military thus testing their relationship and changing everything.





	1. Prologue & Chapter One

**A Soldier’s Love**

Prologue

_The cool, spring rain was coming down in blankets outside. He watched it trickling down over the thick, glass pane of the living room window near where he sat curled up beneath a warm, fleece blanket. The dark rivulets of water remind him of his own tears that were falling so freely from his hazel eyes._

_It had been months; seven, to be exact. One would think he had no more tears to cry, and yet they always came. Fresh torrents of loneliness and despair flooded his eyes every night.  He longed for a day when there would be no more sleeplessness; a future in which he wouldn’t sit alone in their home reminiscing about the happier times; a time when there was no war, a time when there were no casualties, and most of all, a time when he never had to worry or hurt._

_Glancing down at the steaming mug of hot cocoa in his hands, he told himself that sooner or later that day would come. Until then, he simply had to keep pressing on; take life one day at a time. Happiness would belong to him again. Someday…_

 

Chapter One:

            It began all the way back in the fall of Archie’s junior year in high school; David Cook was a senior. They’d met years earlier, but never really discovered their commonalities until they were paired up to sing a duet for the first show choir competition of the season. In fact, he and David never really talked outside of choir. It wasn’t because they didn’t like each other. Archie was just…not like David or his friends. He felt socially awkward and really un-cool. David, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. He was so cool and popular and witty and dorky and…hot. Yes, Archie thought David was very attractive. He had since—well, for as long as he could remember. Probably from the time he hit puberty and realized that he was into other boys.

So apparently their music teacher thought their voices worked well together and suggested that they should have a duet at competition. Archie was a little bit confused by that because um, David’s voice was so rough and growly—and oh man, did he  _love_  to hear him sing—but anyway, his voice wasn’t anything like David’s and he was sure it would turn out to be a disaster!

“So,” David had said to him as they were walking out of the music hall. “It should be interesting to hear our voices together on that duet.”

“Aw,” he said with a breathy laugh. “I know. What is Miss Valens thinking?”

David shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out at rehearsal.”

Archie blushed as David winked at him before turning to walk away with the promise to see him after school. He exhaled slowly and slouched against the wall with a besotted expression for a moment before he had to go in the opposite direction to his next. He could only pray that Miss Valens knew what she was doing and that it wouldn’t turn out embarrassing him in front of David.

Of course, Miss Valens knew exactly what she was talking about. That evening during Choir rehearsal, Archie was pleasantly amazed at how well he and David sounded together singing the pop-rock hit from the movie  _Spiderman_. Miss Valens smiled at them as they finished. It was satisfied smile and Archie felt a little guilty about doubting her skill. David, on the other hand, smirked and said to Miss Valens, “I told you so,” before returning to his chair.

Archie stared at him with his mouth hanging open for a moment before he snapped it shut and took his own seat, feeling rather foolish. When he finally looked up, he noticed David staring at him with a look that Archie couldn’t quite comprehend. Quickly, he shook it off and turned his attention to Brooke who was already in the middle of her solo.

Directly after rehearsal David caught up with Archie in the entrance way, blocking his exit until everyone else had left. “I hope you’re not upset,” he said in a morose tone. “I didn’t ask you because well, we rarely speak and asking you to sing a song with me would have been random and awkward.”

“So you conned the teacher into helping?” Archie asked, unable to hide the laughter in his eyes.

“I was willing to bribe,” David replied with another one of those smirks. Oh Lord, how was Archie staying so calm? “It did sound really good though. Don’t you agree?”

Archie nodded. “I was surprised.”

“I wasn’t,” David informed as he leaned back against the wall across from the one Archie was standing against.

Tugging at his backpack strap that kept falling off his shoulder, Archie asked, “How did you come up with the idea?”

“I’ve been listening to you sing for three years now, Archuleta. You have an amazing voice. It’s such a contrast to mine and I was curious.”

“Oh,” Archie mumbled. “Thanks.”

David only shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pocket. “Only speaking the truth, man.”

A broad smile spread across Archie’s face and he found the confidence to tell David the same. “I uh… You have a really awesome voice too.”

Shrugging off the compliment, David stood back up and gestured towards the door. “So what do you think about practicing sometime? I mean, like… alone.”

“We should!” Archie replied a bit too hastily, and he mentally smacked himself for it, hoping that David hadn’t noticed.

“Alright,” David said with a chuckle. “I have football practice tomorrow evening, but maybe Wednesday you could come to my place?”

“Um, sure. I uh, I’ll need directions,” Archie explained as they finally started walking out of the room.

“You could just follow me,” David told him. “Or you could ride with me and we could pick up your car later.”

“Oh…” Archie felt his stomach curl and his heart began to pound. “I can… I can drive.”

“Suit yourself man,” David said as they entered the hallway. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Archie watched him walk away, waving to Brooke who was waiting against the wall, holding her books in her crossed arms, and he had to bite his lip to keep himself from squealing with excitement.

“It’s about time,” Brooke said when he finally approached her. “Did you forget that my car is in the shop and you’re my ride?”

“Of course I didn’t forget,” Archie told her. “I was… busy.”

Brooke turned her head, looking in the direction David had gone and then turned back to Archie with pursed lips and a raised brow. “Busy, huh?”

“We were discussing our duet,” Archie defended.

“Right,” Brooke teased, dragging the word out for much longer than necessary.

“Are you ready to go?”

Brooke only chuckled and spun on her heels. “Of course.”

****

As planned, Archie and David rehearsed their song at David’s house after school that Wednesday and every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday after that. Eventually, all the afterschool rehearsals and late night song discussions led to hanging out and studying together. During those moments their friendship flourished and they got to know each other’s friends as well. Archie was relieved to find out that Neal wasn’t as scary as he liked for people to think and Andy was really not stuck up; he was just shy.

Finally, almost three months later, David worked up enough courage to officially ask Archie out. It came as a shock to Archie because wow, he didn’t know for sure that David was gay and he hadn’t exactly told him that  _he_  was. That was something that only he and his best friend knew. He hadn’t even told his parents. It was risky for the older boy to take that chance as well. Neither of them was ‘out of the closet,’ so to speak, and David was certainly making a bold move by assuming.

Archie had been getting ready to leave for the evening; gathering his books and putting them into his backpack when he noticed David pacing back and forth in front of his bedroom door. He could tell that David was nervous about something because he kept looking at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck.  “Cook?”

David paused, shoving his hands into his pockets before lifting his head to face Archie. “Hmm?”

“Everything ok? You’re about to wear a hole in the floor.”

A nervous smile played on his lips and he looked away for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Archie laid the last of his books down and abandoned his task of putting them away in favor of giving David his undivided attention. “What’s up?”

“Well, um,” David reached up and rubbed the back of his neck while looking at the floor. “Uh… You know, we’ve been… you know, hanging out for a while now and… Well,” he paused again and finally glanced up.

Archie’s brow rose in confusion. He’d never known David to struggle for words. He was one of the most eloquent speakers he’d ever known. “Yeah… I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you,” Archie stated as if he were trying to help David along. “What’s going on, Cook?”

“I uh, I really enjoy your company.”

That made Archie smile brightly. “Well that’s good.”

David shook his head. “I like you, Arch.”

“Um… I like you too?”

Taking another deep breath, David chuckled softly. “I don’t mean like that, Archie.”

Ok, so now Archie was thoroughly confused and he was about to tell David that he was making no sense what so ever when it kind of dawned on him. “Oh…”

David didn’t say anything. He only stared at Archie, waiting for him to continue.

“You mean?”

David nodded. “Yeah.”

“Oh. Wow.”

Grimacing, David began to pace again. “Fuck, Archie. I’m sorry. I… shit.”

“Cook?”

“That was stupid of me. I shouldn’t have…”

“Cook.”

“Just forget I said anything. Ok?”

“Cook!”

“What?”

“It’s ok. I uh… I like you, too,” Archie admitted. “Like that.”

“Really?”

Archie nodded. “I didn’t know you were…”

“I wasn’t sure if you were either. I was just, you know, hoping.”

“Ok,” Archie said with a laugh. “So wasn’t there something you wanted to ask me?”

A more confident smile formed on David’s lips and he laughed softly. “Yes. There definitely is something I want to ask you.”

“Then ask already!” Archie exclaimed, feeling rather giddy and excited.

“Will you please go out with me Friday night?”

A slow grin formed on Archie’s lips because David, looking quite adorable and undeniably cute in his flustered state, had just asked him out. Like… on a date. He repressed the urge to jump up and down squealing like an idiot and instead opted for the much calmer reaction. “I’d love to go out with you on Friday night, Cook.”

 

****

Their date the following Friday night went extremely well—not that either of them had a doubt that it wouldn’t. David took him to dinner at his favorite restaurant, and then they went to the Dairy Queen for ice cream. As they were saying goodnight on Archie’s doorstep, Archie boldly asked him if he was going to kiss him or not. Without hesitation, David swooped in and gave him a light kiss on the lips and then stepped back smiling triumphantly.

That same night after David left and his siblings were in bed, Archie worked up the courage and asked his Mom and Dad to talk. He took a seat on the chair across from the couch where his parents had sat down and took a deep breath. “I have something to tell you,” he began.

Lupe smiled lovingly at her son while Jeff leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “What is it, mi hijo?”

“I uh,” he felt tears in his eyes already, but he had to tell them. He couldn’t keep it a secret anymore especially now that he had an official…he sucked in another shaky breath as the word boyfriend and an image of David appeared in his head. “Well, you know how I’m never like, dating and stuff?”

Lupe nodded. “Of course. You’re busy with school and choir.”

Archie shook his head. “That’s not why, Mom.” He sighed, seeing the confused look his mom was giving him. It would break her heart when he told her the truth. He knew how disappointed she would be at him and it hurt knowing that, but he wasn’t ashamed of who he was. “I just wasn’t interested. I used that stuff as excuses. However, I went on a date tonight.”

His mom smiled brightly, obviously excited by the news. He was pretty sure she was going to tell him just how excited she was when Jeff spoke up. “I thought you were out with David tonight.”

Archie swallowed thickly and found it difficult to look his dad in the eye. “I… I was.” He watched as realization showed on Jeff’s face and his jaw tightened. “I know this upsets you,” Archie said softly, over the pounding of his heart echoing in his ears.

“I don’t understand,” Lupe whispered, lacing her fingers with Jeff’s.

Archie could tell that she was trying not to breakdown. He really wanted to hug her, but he was afraid to do so. His mother had always been very kind and loving and supporting towards him, but he wasn’t sure that she would be this time. They were a rather conservative family and their church had always been adamant when it came to the laws of sexuality and what was right and wrong. “I’m sorry, Mom,” he said softly as tears began to fill his eyes. “For hurting you, but I can’t help who I am. I can’t be sorry for that.” He glanced over at his Dad who was watching him with scrutiny. “Dad?”

“All this time that you’ve been spending with David… Have you?”

Archie was shaking his head before his Dad could go any further. “No. Tonight was the first time we’ve gone out as anything other than friends. I…” he paused to think about what to say and to gage his Dad’s reaction. “I didn’t even know for sure that he was um…that he was…”

“You can’t even say it,” Lupe said angrily through her tears. “How could you let this happen?”

“Mom, it’s not that simple. It’s not something I let happen. It just… is.” He wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand.

“But it’s…”

“Please, Mom,” he interrupted as his tears began falling faster than he could blink them away. “Don’t say it’s wrong.”

“Your mother and I need to talk,” Jeff said; his expression still unreadable. “Go to your room and we’ll come to you when we’ve finished talking this over.”

“But…”

“Go,” Jeff demanded, making it very clear to Archie that there would be no further discussion until he said so.

Feeling scared and dejected, he got up and headed to his bedroom on the second floor. He lay down on his bed, burying his face in his pillow as sobs shook his body. What should have been one of the best nights of his life had just turned into one of the worst; simply because he wanted to be honest with his parents.

He laid up there for what seemed like hours, running every possible scenario through his head. It was to the point he wanted very much to throw himself out the window because he was so afraid of facing his family again. He could only imagine what they were discussing for so long. He sniffled sadly as his mother’s crestfallen face flashed in his mind. He really didn’t want to hurt her, but he was afraid that not telling her would have hurt her more. His dad, on the other hand, had surprised him a bit with his lack of hostility. He had almost expected a lot of yelling and screaming from him.

The sound of a soft knock on his bedroom door brought him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see his parents both entering his room. Hesitantly, he sat up, scooting to the edge of his bed so that his feet were planted firmly on the floor.

Lupe was the first to speak as she stepped forward and took a seat next to David while Jeff stood quietly in the corner. Archie was surprised, but oh so relieved when she took his hand and held it in both of hers. “How long?” She asked.

“What?”

“How long have you had these feelings…for boys? I need to know that he’s not doing something to confuse you.”

Archie gasped; surprised that she would accuse David of something so terrible. “Mom, no. He’s… he’s done nothing. I’ve always kind of known. I’ve never been attracted to a girl before. This… this thing with David is new to me, and I didn’t want to lie to you and Dad.” He sniveled again before going on. “But I didn’t want to hurt you either.”

She nodded, truly appreciating his honesty. “Do you love him?” She finally asked while running a hand through his dark, tousled hair.

That was certainly a question he was not prepared to answer, but he answered it the best way that he could. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “I’ve never been in love before, but I think that maybe I might.”

Lupe closed her eyes and pulled Archie against her, holding him as only a mother could. “I still do not understand this mijo, and I’m not going to pretend to understand or even approve of your choice. However, your father and I love you very much and really all we want is for you to be happy. If David is going to be what makes you happy then that is…”

Archie’s sobs drowned out the rest of Lupe’s words but he knew that what she said was hard for her and for her to make that declaration; it meant the world to him. “I love you, Mama,” he cried while clutching at her shirt just like he had as a child. “Thank you so much.”

She nodded her head knowingly as Jeff joined them, placing a loving hand on his back. “We love you, too,” he said.

And with that, Archie knew everything was going to be ok. He just knew.

The next day, Archie went over to David’s house as he had been doing every Saturday for the past few months. When he knocked on the door, he was greeted by David’s mom who smiled brightly at him and pulled him into a fierce hug as soon as he was inside. He stared at her for a moment as she pulled back and patted his cheek with a kind, motherly hand. “Is everything ok at your house?”

“Um,” he was completely thrown by her actions and struggled to find an answer. “Yeah. It is now. I think.”

“Good! David and I talked last night and I just want to you to know that I am here for you both one hundred percent. Ok?”

Archie nodded, feeling quite embarrassed, but at the same time, surprisingly relieved. He was thanking her when David came down the steps and saw them standing in the foyer, embracing.

He groaned and rushed over to them. “God. Mom!” He exclaimed as he grabbed Archie’s arm and tugged him away from her. “Stop fawning over him. Geez.”

Beth only rolled her eyes at her son and then waved them off as David pulled Archie towards the stairs. Archie giggled softly as he followed David up the steps to his room. “Wow, Cook. I never really pegged you for the superhero type,” he said referring to the pajama bottoms that David was wearing.

David paused at the top of the stairs and looked down at the worn Superman flannels that just happened to be his favorite before looking back at Archie. “Are you making fun of my pants?”

“Of course not. They’re cute.”

“Cute?”

“Mm hmm,” Archie replied with a mischievous grin on his face. He had to remember to hide his own spongebob ones so that David would never see them.

They went into David’s bedroom and he sat down on the bed, bouncing slightly and raising his brow at David when he locked the door.

“Privacy,” he explained with a shrug. “You know how Drew is.”

“Yeah,” Archie replied with a smile, secretly hoping that maybe that wasn’t the only reason David was locking the door. “Your Mom is awesome, by the way.”

David smiled and plopped down next to Archie on his bed with his left leg curled under him. “She is.” He studied Archie for a few moments as he bent over to remove his shoes and socks before pulling his legs up under him. “How did things go with your parents?”

With a sigh, Archie shrugged. “It was…” he’d had a million different emotions flowing through him while he was sitting with his parents the night before, but the first word that came to mind covered the way he felt overall. “Scary.”

David nodded his head understandingly and reached out to take Archie’s hand in his. “I was scared too,” he said. “I’d never really thought about telling Mom before last night. I had no idea how she would react.”

“Well, I expected worse out my parents to be honest. With the church and everything, I know how they feel about homosexuality, so I was expecting it to be different.”

“But they were ok with it?”

“Not really ok with it; just dealing with it. My mom was angry at first and then she cried a lot. Dad… I’m not sure how to describe him. He looked a little angry at first, but then he was—understanding? He talked to my mom and then she was a little less mad.” He looked up and noticed the frown on David’s face and furrowed his brows. “What?”

“I’m sorry that they were mad.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. I’d have to have that conversation with them someday anyway. I’m kind of glad it’s over and done with now.” He turned his hand and laced his fingers through David’s. “Are you going to tell your dad?”

“Sometime,” David replied with a nod of his head. “Probably over spring break when I go to visit him and Vick.”

Archie smiled down at their hands as David moved his other one to lie on the back of his. “I had a really good time last night.”

“Me too,” David said with a smirk. “We should do it again sometime soon.”

“I think so too,” Archie said with a laugh.

“You know what my favorite part of last night was?” He waited for Archie to shake his head before he continued. “When I dropped you off at your house and you asked me if I was going to kiss you.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm hmm.”

“Did you like kissing me?” Archie asked his tone low and whispering. His heart began to race and he thought it might actually pound right out of his chest as David’s eyes met his and without words, the older boy reached up to cup his face with both hands and leaned forward. A small whimper was heard as their lips collided for the second time ever, and Archie’s arm came up to wind around David’s neck as he too leaned into the kiss.

This time, the kiss lasted longer and it felt amazing. The gentle way David’s perfect lips moved over Archie’s and the soft sweep of his tongue that came later when they were both breathing heavily with excitement and wanting more.

“Oh gosh,” Archie breathed moments later when he turned his head away from David’s kiss, gasping for air. “Mmph…”

“What do you think?” David asked breathlessly.

Archie didn’t need to reply, he simply reached out and pulled David back in for another kiss.

***** 

From that point on they were pretty much inseparable. Of course, they kept their relationship on the down low as much as possible because neither was ready to tell anyone other than their families and a few close friends. It wasn’t exactly a popular thing—to be gay—at their high school. It remained that way throughout David’s senior year.

That spring, right after David’s graduation party, they were in David’s room having a rather heavy make-out session when David pulled away from Archie’s lips and stared down at him as he lay on the bed trapped beneath his larger frame. “Baby?” He whispered while raking his fingers through Archie’s hair.

“Hmm?” Archie asked, staring up at him for a moment with a dreamy expression on his face before closing his eyes and licking his kiss-swollen lips.

“I love you.” David watched as Archie’s eyes flew open and he stared up at him, mouth agape.

“Um… what?”

“I love you.”

Archie blinked back the tears that were suddenly stinging his eyes. “Oh my gosh.” He reached up and pulled David down for a tight hug. Those were exactly the words he’d been waiting to hear; wanting to hear for months. Ever since he realized that yes, he was definitely in love with the older boy. He’d wanted to shout it to the world, but was so afraid to say anything just in case David didn’t feel the same way. He knew what a big commitment those three words stood for and sometimes it took a while to reach that point in a relationship. So he’d kept his feelings to himself hoping that one day, David would say it first.

A smile graced David’s face and he held Archie in a tight embrace. “I’ve wanted to say that for so long now.”

Gently pushing him back so he could look at him, Archie asked, “Then why haven’t you?”

David shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. It just never felt like the right time.” He gave him a crooked smile, “but right now, with you looking so beautiful and my heart beating like crazy, it seemed like the perfect time.”

Archie’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he reached up to place a gentle hand on David’s face. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“I do,” David said with a nod and placed a soft kiss on Archie’s palm. “I think you’re gorgeous.” He started to give him another kiss but was surprised when Archie rolled them over, pinning him to the bed instead.

“Cook,” he whispered raggedly. “I have wanted to tell you that I love you since our fifth date.” He remembered the exact moment that he realized that he was hopelessly, head over heels in love with David. They’d gone to the movies and sat in the very back row in one of the less populated theaters. The movie was terrible, but they shared a bag of popcorn and David had held his hand throughout the whole thing. Then when it was over, they’d gone to the local park and sat under the fishing dock, hidden from anyone who might have been passing by. They’d talked and kissed until almost sun up and when David finally took Archie home he’d given him a compilation CD that he’d made.

The night had been perfect and Archie popped the CD into his CD player as soon as he was in his room and as he lay there on his bed listening to Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden, the fourth or fifth song on the CD, he suddenly knew what he was feeling for the high school senior wasn’t just a crush or an infatuation. No. What he was feeling was love and he was certain of that.

“Really?”

“Really! I love you,” Archie said with a smile before leaning down to press his mouth to David’s once more.

This time when they parted, David’s expression grew serious and he chewed thoughtfully at his lower lip while Archie smiled down at him, panting a little. “Archie, I need to tell you something else.”

“Ok,” Archie agreed, pulling himself up to sit with his back against the wall that David’s bed was pushed up against. He wondered what had caused the sudden change in his boyfriends demeanor. “What is it?”

With a heavy sigh, David sat up too, leaning against the wall right beside of Archie. He’d been dreading this moment for the last few weeks and should have told Archie about it before, but he just didn’t know how to go about it. “Um, you know how I’ve been kind of debating on what to do about college and stuff?” Of course Archie knew. He’d spent lots of nights throughout the past school year helping David fill out applications and study for his SATs and ACTs and heck, now Archie would have no problem with that stuff when it came time for him to be doing it. “Well, I’ve decided I’m not going to college.”

“What?” Archie asked kind of alarmed. “But, babe, you’ve already got acceptance letters from at least three schools.”

“I know, but I didn’t get the scholarships that I was hoping for and financially I just don’t think it’s feasible.”           

“Isn’t there some kind of financial aid that you can get?”

“We’ve looked into all of that. It’s still going to be tight for Mom. Dad can only help so much, ya know? I just don’t want to put her in that position. Especially since she’s still got Andrew to think about.”

Archie nodded understandingly. “So what are you thinking? Community college?”

“Not exactly,” David explained. “I’m enlisting.”

"What?” Archie asked; eyes wide in disbelief. “The military? Cook, have you lost your mind?”

“Archie it’s the easiest way for me to get a good career.”

“Easy? Tell me what about the military is easy? Which branch are you talking about anyway?”

“Ok, so maybe easy wasn’t the best word to use there, and I’m talking about the Army.”

Archie’s stomach felt like it was doing flip-flops and he was pretty sure he was about to start crying. It was too much for him to comprehend in such a short time span. David had just told him that he loved him and now—now he was telling him that he was going to be leaving him? “Cook, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but the US Military isn’t exactly gay friendly.”

“I know.”

“Then how do you expect this to work? They’ll never let you enlist if you’re…”

“I’m not going to tell them. We can still keep our relationship a secret until it’s all over. Archie, you and I are only out to our families and a few close friends anyway, and I’m pretty sure they’re not going to tattle.”

Archie stared at David as tears began to roll down his cheeks. “What about me, Cook? You just told me that you love me, but where in the grand scheme of things does this leave me? Have you even thought about what you’re asking of me?”

“Baby, it’s not like I’ll be gone forever. It’s ten weeks of basic training and then I’ll be in specialized training for several weeks, and then…”

“Cook, come on. I’m not stupid. It’s not that simple. Not to mention the country is currently at war!” Archie jumped up abruptly and started pacing the floor. “God, Cook! You’re being kind of selfish right now.”

“ _I’m_  being selfish? Archie, listen to yourself. I’m trying to make things a little easier on my family and you’re… you’re making it all about you!” David accused as he scooted to the edge of his bed, planting his feet on the floor.

Archie stopped pacing and glared at David. He knew he was probably over reacting, but this was scaring the living daylights out of him. There were so many things David was putting on the line with this decision. He just didn’t understand it.

“Baby…” David finally spoke again after several long moments of silence, this time in a softer tone. “I do love you; so much. And if you love me half as much as I love you, then we can get through this. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. I’m not saying that things won’t change. I’m just asking that you stand by me. Be my partner through this. I need you, baby.”

Archie choked back more tears and noticed for the first time, the tears shining in David’s eyes. “Cook,” he gasped as he stepped closer and allowed David to pull him into him embrace. He circled his arms around David and held his head against his torso. “It’s not that I don’t want you to do what you think is best. And I want to be here for you. You know that. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me, Arch. I promise.”


	2. Chapter Two

**A Soldier’s Love**

Chapter 2

            Archie spent the next two months dreading the day that David would leave for Basic Training at Fort Leonard Wood. Of course, it was only a couple of hours away but it was also ten weeks in which he wouldn’t see his boyfriend. The two of them hadn’t gone more than a day without seeing each other since they began dating.

            He also spent early mornings helping David train. Apparently David’s recruiter had told him something about getting comfortable with running a few miles a day. That way he wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed when he had to do it in Basic.

            Archie was already a runner so getting up at the crack of dawn and taking off down the street wasn’t anything new for him. However, the only running that David had done (or cared to do) was whatever that was required of him during various ball seasons. Still, running drills at football practice and around the bases during baseball was not the same as running nonstop for three to five miles.

            Archie had been sympathetic with him the first morning. David had made it just over a mile when he stopped to literally hug a tree in someone’s yard. Chuckling, Archie backtracked several steps to check on him. “You ok?” He asked David as he bent over, panting with one hand on his knee and the other on the tree.

            “Oh, fuck, I think I’m gonna die…” he huffed.

            “Oh, you’re not going to die,” Archie told him while rolling his eyes. “Come on. We’ll walk the rest of the way.”

            The second day, David did better, but Archie also made sure they started out at a slower pace. They made it their planned two miles and David jogged over to a bench in the park that had been their two-mile marker.

            Archie only laughed lightheartedly and followed him. He leaned over the back of the bench to peer down at David who was lying on the seat. “How are you feeling?”

            David opened his eyes and stared up at his boyfriend as he wiped the sweat from his brow. “I hate running.”

            Archie snickered. “Well then I think you’re going into the wrong profession.”

            Over the next few weeks, they increased their miles and by the time David was scheduled to report to Fort Leonard Wood in late July, they were doing five to eight miles easily. Archie couldn’t have been more proud of David the first time they reached that goal.

            “Oh my God!” David exclaimed, walking into his house after they’d just completed their first eight mile run. “I can’t believe I just did that!” He turned to Archie who was closing the door behind him. “And I feel great!”

            “Yeah?” Archie asked, stepping up to David with a mischievous smile on his face. “You look pretty great too.” That was totally true too. David had dropped a few pounds, slimmed down, and all the push-ups and sit-ups that he was doing were working wonders on his muscle tone.

            “Do I, now?” David asked in a playful tone as he slipped his arms around Archie.

            “Eww,” Archie made a face. “You’re all sweaty.” Even as he said it, Archie was leaning into David and running his fingers up over David’s arms, pausing to admire his biceps.

            “So are you,” David reasoned, before stooping to kiss him.

            Archie giggled, pulling away after only a brief moment. “I think you need a shower.”

            “Mm, you want to join me?”

            Archie’s mouth dropped open in both shock and maybe more than a little bit of interest. “Oh my gosh, Cook!” Archie croaked as David pulled away from him, laughing and grabbing the hem of his sleeveless t-shirt in order to pull the sweat drenched garment off.

            “I’m kidding, babe. You’re coming back later right?”

            Still a tiny bit distracted, Archie nodded. “Um, yeah.”

            David’s laugh echoed in the foyer once more as he leaned in to give Archie one more chaste kiss before heading off in the direction of the bathroom while Archie turned for the door. He had to get home and shower before his Mom had breakfast ready. He’d already missed it three times that week, and he didn’t want to risk it again.

 

*****

            The day before David was to leave, Archie spent the entire day at his house, just hanging out with him and his family. It was during dinner that evening that Beth suggested that Archie stay the night so he could be there to say goodbye to David the next morning before they left. Archie was happy with that idea. He’d planned on coming back in the morning anyway.

            That night after Archie helped David get packed up, he changed into the pajamas that David had given him and then they pulled out the sofa bed in the living room and made it with the sheets and a comforter that Beth had laid out for them. Once they were done, Archie sat down with a sigh. “I really appreciate your mom for being so cool about this.”

            David sat down next to him. “Are you kidding? Arch, you’re family now. She’s like adopted you as her own or something.”

            Archie laughed, but then realized that David was completely right. Beth had been so awesome ever since she found out that they were together, and she had treated him as nothing less. “Yeah, she kinda has.”

            “That’s good,” David said as he lay back against the mountain of pillows they’d created by using the seat cushions as well as the two pillows Beth had given them. “You can look out for her while I’m gone.”

            “Me? What about Drew?”

            “He doesn’t think Mom needs someone to look after her, but she’s Mom, you know? I worry about how me being gone is going to affect her.”

            Archie smiled, moving so that he could share the pillows with David. “I understand. I’ll watch out for her.”

            “Thanks,” David pulled Archie over to lie against him. “So… how are you doing with this?”

            Archie sighed, resting his head against David’s shoulder. He wasn’t dealing with it too well in his own opinion. However, he had to; one way or another. “I’m dealing. I don’t really want you to go, but I know that you have to. I understand why you’re doing it and I’m going to support you whether I like it or not.”

            “And I know you don’t.”

            “No. I don’t,” Archie admitted. It wasn’t like it was news to David. Archie had been upfront about where he stood on the subject from the beginning. “I’m worried about what might happen to you.”

            “I’ll be fine,” David reasoned.

            “How do you know?” David shrugged and refused to meet Archie’s eyes so Archie sighed and decided to turn the tables. “How about you, Cook? How are you?”

            “Terrified,” David replied without having to think about how to answer Archie’s question. The truth of the matter was, the closer he got to his ship-out date the less he was convinced that it had been such a good idea.

            Archie gave him a sympathetic look. He started to speak whenever he noticed Beth standing by the foot of the stairs. He sat up, making David do the same.

            “You boys should get some sleep. It’s going to be an early morning.” She gave David a pointed look. “Especially for you, young man.”

            David nodded and leaned in to give Archie a light peck on the lips before getting up. “Goodnight, Arch.”

            “Goodnight,” he said in response as David walked over to his mom. He gave her a big hug and kissed her cheek before telling her goodnight as well. Archie smiled as David retreated up the steps to his room. “Goodnight, Beth. Thanks for letting me stay.”

            She smiled warmly. “You’re welcome, sweetie. I’ll see you in the morning.”

            Once he was left alone, Archie reached up and switched off the lamp on the end table before settling back onto the bed and pulling the blankets up over him.

 

*****

            About two hours later, he was still lying there, wide awake and staring up; watching as the trees outside cast shadows on the moonlit ceiling. He turned his head towards the stairs when he heard a creak in the hardwood floor. “Cook?” He asked in a whisper after seeing his boyfriend creeping down the steps.

            “Sorry,” David said as he got closer to the makeshift bed. “Did I wake you?”

            Shaking his head, Archie sat up. “No. I wasn’t sleeping.”

            “Me neither,” David told him. “I can’t.”

            Archie’s eyes grew wide as David crawled into bed next to him. “Cook! What are you doing?”

            “Getting in bed with you,” he replied.

            “What if your mom gets up?”

            David pulled Archie back down onto the mattress and curled up close to him. “We’re not doing anything, Arch. Just sleeping.”

            Archie had to admit, falling asleep wrapped in David’s arms sounded really good, and the way he felt at that moment was also really nice. He snuggled closer and found David’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Goodnight, Cook.”

            “Goodnight, baby,” David said as he nuzzled his face against Archie’s neck, placing a series of kisses there before finally getting comfortable.

            They were both asleep in no time.

 

*****

            Archie was the first to wake up the next morning. He opened his eyes groggily but smiled when he realized that he was still wrapped up in David’s arm, pressed tightly against his lean body with their legs tangled beneath the sheets.

            The smell of bacon frying told him that Beth was already awake. He couldn’t help but wonder what she might have thought when she’d came down the stairs that morning and saw them both in the same bed. Those thoughts lead to nerves bubbling up in his stomach and his cheeks starting to burn with embarrassment. However, that didn’t last long because David was beginning to stir.

            “G’morning,” he mumbled as he opened his eyes.

            “Good morning,” Archie replied. “How did you sleep?”

            “Like a baby. How about you?”

            “Same…”

            “Oh! Good you’re awake,” Beth said as she came out of the kitchen. “I have breakfast ready. You need to eat and then start getting ready.”

            Archie’s face flushed as he and David both turned to look at her as she stood behind the couch peering down at them. “Ok, Mom,” David said before he waved her off.

            “Oh my gosh! You’re Mom is so awesome,” Archie told him once she had gone. If it had been Lupe that caught them sleeping together, he knew she would have freaked out; even if it was innocent.

            David chuckled. “I thought we already established that.”

            “Yeah well, she is!”

            David groaned playfully and rolled over, pinning Archie to the mattress as he stared into his eyes. “But not as awesome as me, right?”

            “Oh…” Archie teased. “She’s a pretty good contender.” He giggled when David pouted at him. “I’m joking, babe. No one is as awesome as you.”

            With a smirk, David lowered his head until his lips were just centimeters away from Archie’s. “Good.”

            Archie whimpered softly and pulled his arms loose from David’s grip so he could wrap them around David’s neck as they kissed. “Mm, I love you,” Archie whispered between kisses while raking his hand through David’s hair.

            “I love you, too,” David replied huskily before sliding his tongue over Archie’s lower lip, seeking entrance.

            “Boys!” Beth exclaimed once again from the kitchen door. “Breakfast is getting cold.”

            David pulled his mouth away from Archie’s, laughing and rising up slightly so he could see over the back of the couch. “Ok, Mom. We’re coming.” He smiled brightly at her until she turned and went back into the kitchen. Then he looked down at Archie. “We should probably go eat…”   

            Archie agreed and pushed David up off of him thinking that it was going to be the most awkward meal he’d ever shared with David’s family.

 

*****

            Upon his arrival at Fort Leonard Wood, David reported to the Reception Battalion where he spent three and a half days doing what the Army called “in-processing.” It was basically the beginning of the transformation from a civilian to a soldier.

During that time, he was given a general orientation and went through a series of test that included vision, dental, and hearing checks as well as an initial PT test. That was the moment when he was thankful that he’d spent the summer getting in shape. Of course that PT test only consisted of a one mile run and sit-ups and push-ups.

While in Reception he was also issued his uniforms and other pertinent items. Then there was the part that he hated the most; immunizations and a haircut. The emotional distress over the haircut was nothing compared to the shots. The penicillin shot was the worst. His right butt cheek hurt for days after receiving that one.

After Reception, he began the first phase of Basic Training. It consisted of the first three weeks and it was a lot of physical training and learning basic combat skills. It was probably the toughest phase that he had to go through while being there. The Drill Sergeants were in control and recruits expected to do only what they were told to do. Nothing more nothing less. And a lot of times, no matter what they did or how well they did it, it wasn’t good enough.

David didn’t have an incredibly terrible time during the first few weeks because he knew how to respect authority and he wasn’t like a few others in his platoon who had a rough time with being told what to do. What sucked, however, was when the whole platoon was punished for the stupidity of one recruit. There was also the bag drill that David had to go through. That was an exercise to stress the importance of teamwork. The drill sergeant dumped everyone's duffle bags onto the barracks floor and made them find their own. It took David's platoon three tries and several push-ups and sit-ups before they realized that they needed to work together in order to complete the task. It was sheer chaos as some of the guys yelled out the names on the bags and others threw them to whoever rushed to collect them, David ended up being one of the guys digging through the bags, but they finished in record time and passed the drill.

Phase two was basically the same as the first with the addition of getting to use weapons instead of just learning to take them apart and put them back together. David also noticed that during this time, the Drill Sergeants seemed to have lightened up a little bit. Sure, they were still giving the recruits a hard time over sometimes petty things, but they also started to appreciate a little bit of initiative.

After that came the final stage of basic training. It ended up being the most challenging of all the phases. During the first week there was the final PT test. It was also the one that would determine whether or not David would get to join the rest of his platoon in the field. However, with the amount of training that he’d received during the previous weeks and over the summer, he felt pretty confident going into it. Besides it wasn’t likely that anyone in the platoon would fail the test. Failure was very rare at that point.

Of course, David did pass right along with everyone else in his platoon. Field training consisted of tents, night patrols, night operations, and terrible food. All of that was followed up by a tactical field exercise which tied everything they’d learned throughout their training together.

During his time in Basic training, David had used some of his free time, which didn’t come in abundance, to write home to his family as well as to Archie. He didn’t get to call them that often, especially Archie. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to; it was just that there wasn’t a lot of time or privacy for phone calls.

It was right after his platoon returned from the field that David sat down to write home to Archie one last time before graduation. He’d received a few letters from his boyfriend while he was in the field and had a lot to catch up on. He actually spent most of his free time that night reading Archie’s letters and then writing his.

 

_Archie,_

_I’m sorry it’s been a while since I’ve written to you. I haven’t had a lot of free time lately. I just got your last few letters though! We’ve been in the field and they were waiting for me when I got back._

_The last few weeks have been crazy, but kind of fun too. We finished the last part of our training yesterday. There was a short ceremony after we completed our special tactical field event. I am now considered a soldier. Are you proud?_

_Anyway, I have to tell you about my experience in the field. Oh my God. It was actually pretty cool. We got to stage actual battles… don’t worry; we were using blanks and lasers, not live ammo. The adrenaline rush was incredible. I never really thought I would enjoy weapons so much. However, after getting a chance to use them so much in the firing ranges (with live rounds), I’m kind of addicted. Please don’t tell Mom that! I don’t know, I guess it’s the feeling of power I get when my finger is on the trigger?_

_The only thing I can complain about during the field training is the fact that the food was terrible! There are no chow halls in the field so we were provided with MREs the whole time. Some of those things are really disgusting. I will never complain about the food we receive in the chow hall again!_

_That reminds me! The first time we were ever given an MRE, our drill sergeant told us to leave the gum that comes with it. I don’t really know why we couldn’t have the gum. I guess it probably has something to do with the reason we’re not supposed to have any other sweets. By the way, cough drops are like cigarettes in this place because of that rule. Anyway, my dumbass battle buddy didn’t believe our drill sergeant when he said he would count the pieces of gum. Our entire platoon ended up being punished for that… Now thinking back on it, it kind of funny. Needless to say, he doesn’t disobey any orders now._

_So… I’m glad school has been going well for you. Will you be performing any solos for show choir competition this year? What’s the theme? I’ve been going a little crazy without my music here._

_I’m so excited about you coming with Mom & Drew to graduation next week. I’m looking forward to seeing you. I miss you so much. I put in a request for a weekend pass also. Of course I won’t know for sure if I’ll get it until closer to the day. I’m crossing my fingers though._

_Well it’s almost time for lights out so I better end this. See you soon!_


	3. Chapter Three

A Soldier’s Love

Chapter 3

Lupe walked into the living room to find Archie curled up on the corner of the sofa with his head on his arm watching television. He looked rather glum so Lupe took a seat next to him. “What is the matter, mijo?”

He glanced up at his mom. He hadn’t even realized that she’d come into the room. “Oh… um, nothing. I’m just watching TV.” He then turned his head, rubbing the corner of his eye on his sweatshirt sleeve so that she wouldn’t see the evidence of his heartache.

“You’ve been awfully sulky lately,” she said as she put her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. “You should be excited right now. It’s only a few more days until you’ll be seeing David again.”

Archie sniffled softly, knowing that his mom had already caught onto his sadness. “I know,” he spoke softly. “I am excited.”

“Then why such a sad face?”

“The military changes people, Mama.”

“Of course it does, honey.”

Archie sat up straighter. He and his mother never really discussed his relationship with David. He understood that she wasn’t completely comfortable with it and he respected that. After all, she was accepting of him, so the least he could do was give her the time that she needed to deal with it. However, she was there at that moment, obviously willing to talk to him, and he needed to talk. “What if he’s changed?”

“Aw, mijo, is that what you’re worried about?” She slipped her arm around his shoulders and pulled him into her warm, motherly embrace. “It’s been less than three months. How much could he have changed?”

“I don’t know. I just… well what if he’s changed his mind about me?”

“Darling, David loves you.”

Archie felt more tears welling up in eyes and he buried his face against his mom’s side. He knew that David loved him, but it had been so long since he heard it, he just needed a little reassurance. “I know…”

“Now, now, no more tears.”

“I’ve missed him so much,” Archie choked back a sob. He had known that being apart was going to be difficult, but he had no idea just how trying it was going to be for him. He was used to hearing from David all the time and now he rarely heard anything. Sure, he got letters, but they were almost always vague and impersonal. He knew it was because they had to be careful not to let anyone find out about their relationship; however that fact didn’t make it any easier to bear. He couldn’t help that sometimes he got extremely upset and occasionally directed his anger over being upset towards David.

He and his mom sat there on the couch talking until Jeff returned home from work. Archie was thankful to have had that time with Lupe because it was certainly progress for her and he definitely needed a shoulder to cry on.

 

*****

Archie would never forget David’s Basic Training graduation. He’d made the near four-hour road trip with Beth and Andrew to Fort Leonard Wood, MO on Friday evening. They spent the night in a nearby hotel where Beth had booked two rooms, and then got up early the next morning to go to the post where David’s graduation was being held. Once they were inside the auditorium, they found seats and waited for things to begin.

The ceremony itself was rather short, but Archie’s heart skipped when he found David in the crowd. He was looking as gorgeous as ever and Archie had to look away in order to not be caught staring. That’s when Beth nudged him and pushed a program into his hand. He was thankful for the momentary distraction until the ceremony began. They watched with pride as all of the soldiers in David’s platoon recited their creed and were then handed their diplomas. Afterwards everyone was invited to the gym where a reception would be held.

There, David greeted them each with a hug starting with his mom who was already in tears. “I’m so proud of you, honey.”

“Thanks, Mom,” he murmured while holding her tightly.

After Beth, he smiled brightly at Archie. “Hey, Arch! I am so glad you’re here.” He whispered that last part as he gave him a short, brotherly hug with a little bit of an extra squeeze that told him to be patient before he moved on to Andrew.

They spent the rest of the afternoon touring the bay and meeting some of David’s platoon buddies. After that, they went to dinner at a nearby restaurant. Archie was beyond ready to get back to the hotel. Being in David’s presence and not being able to look at him or touch him the way he wanted to was grating on his patience.

However, he knew that he would have his time with David later and he kept telling himself that while trying to keep up with the conversation going on at their table. David was animatedly telling them about his weeks in training; the stuff he left out of the letters. Archie giggled at Beth’s expression when David was telling her about the firing range.

That made David turn his attention to him. “You’ve been awfully quiet, Archuleta.”

Archie shrugged. “I’m just listening.”

“Did you know he was enjoying the guns so much?” Beth asked, giving Archie a pointed look.

“Oh,” Archie admitted as he took interest in stirring his drink with his straw. “He might have mentioned it.”

Everyone at the table laughed and David patted him on the back for a moment before pulling his hand away. Then they went on with their conversation until their food arrived. After they were all finished, they piled into Beth’s car and she drove them back to the hotel.

Beth and Andrew said goodnight to them in the elevator and walked down to the room they would occupy for the night while David followed Archie to the one they would share.

As the hotel room door shut behind them, David threw his duffle bag down and grabbed Archie, pulling him close and hugging him tightly. “Oh my God, I’ve missed you.”

Hot tears stung Archie’s eyes as the months of waiting to be in David’s arms again finally came to an end. It felt a little different. David was toned and had buffed up compared to the last time he’d held him. Archie really liked it. It felt so good to have such strong arms wrapped around him and to be pressed up against his hard body. He didn’t say anything though. He simply allowed himself to drown in his boyfriend’s warmth until David’s hand moved to tilt his head up.

A gentle smile formed on David’s lips when he saw the shimmer of moisture in Archie’s eyes. Carefully, he used his thumbs to brush away the tears. “I know this sucks, baby…” he said. “I’m sorry for putting you through it.”

Archie sniffled and shook his head. “Don’t apologize. You know I’d do anything for you.”

With a nod, David said, “and I love you even more for it.” He spoke softly as his thumb rubbed over Archie’s lower lip while he studied the face of his younger boyfriend. “How are you more beautiful than the last time I saw you?”

Archie’s eyelids fluttered and his cheeks flushed. He always got a little embarrassed whenever David would compliment him like that. He just didn’t see himself in the same way that David obviously did.

“It’s true,” David added, his voice dropping a little lower before he closed the distance between them, finally kissing him slowly.

Sighing contentedly, Archie slid one hand up to rest on David’s chest, while the other moved to his grab onto his arm.

Moments later, David pulled his lips away from Archie’s, pressing their foreheads together simply to remain in contact. “Damn, baby. I’ve wanted to do that all day long.”

Archie’s laugh was soft and his breath was warm against David’s cheek as he spoke. “Me too. You don’t know how hard it was for me not to attack you at the reception.”

“Oh, I think I do.” David grinned as he leaned back slightly to look into Archie’s eyes. “At night, I would fall asleep with thoughts of you, longing for this day when I could hold you close again. When I saw you today, I wanted to do just that.”

Archie looked towards one of the beds that were in the room. “Well, you can hold me all night long if you want.”

David smiled, his own eyes following Archie’s gaze. “I like that idea very much.” He finally slipped out of his boyfriend’s embrace and picked up the duffle bag he’d thrown on the floor when they’d first entered the room. “Just let me go change out of this, ok?”

Archie nodded, giving David the once over making sure to remember just how incredible David looked in his uniform. “Hurry up, ok?” David nodded and then disappeared into the bathroom. While he was in there, Archie quickly changed into his own night clothes that consisted of a worn t-shirt and a pair of gray jogging pants.

“Hey Arch, do you need in here?” David asked as he stepped out of the bathroom unsure of whether to leave the light on or not.

“Oh, um…” Archie hesitated when he saw David wearing only a pair of black boxers and his dog tags which dangled around his neck. “Yeah…” He smiled, trying to mask the overwhelming feeling of desire that radiated throughout his body as he walked past David to go into the bathroom.

When he returned, he slid into bed next to David who was waiting for him. They lay on their sides, facing each other once they were both situated. Archie grinned and propped his head up with his arm. "So..."

David chuckled lightly and imitated Archie’s current position. “Tell me what all I’ve missed back home that you forgot to write about.”

“It’s actually been kind of quiet. School is pretty much the same as it was last year. Hectic and busy.”

“You’re supposed to take it easy this year, Arch. It’s your senior year, enjoy it!”

“I know… I just want to get in as many college courses as I can. You know?”

“Yeah. How are Brooke and everyone else?”

“Oh, everyone is well. Brooke and I are working on something for the Christmas show.”

David lay there watching him as he talked, telling him all about how things were at home and how he’d seen Neal and Andy a few days earlier and they sent their best as well as an apology for not writing to him more than once or twice. He had to laugh at that last part. He hadn’t really expected either of his friends to write to him at all. It just wasn’t them. “How’s their band going?”

Archie shrugged. “I guess it’s going alright. I saw them play a few weeks ago. They have fans.”

It was obvious to David that Archie was holding back a little bit so he decided to cut right to the chase. “So how have you been, baby? I mean really.”

Archie sighed, knowing exactly what David was asking him. “Kind of miserable,” he admitted. “I knew having you gone would be lonely, but I wasn’t expecting it to be that bad.”

“I know what you mean,” David said in response. “It’s a bit of a culture shock when you go from being together every day to almost nothing at all.”

Archie nodded. “My mom made some progress.”

“Oh yeah? How?” David had always known that Lupe hadn’t been able to deal with their relationship as well as his own mom had. He hadn’t expected her to either. In fact, he was surprised that she and Jeff had handled it as well as they had.

“A few days ago, I was having a little bit of a meltdown and she was totally cool about it. We actually talked for a couple of hours.”

“About us?”

“Yeah,” Archie replied, lowering his eyes in embarrassment.

“What was your meltdown over?” David asked, sounding a bit confused.

“You,” Archie said in a soft tone, unsure if he really wanted to admit just how afraid he had been.

David noticed the sad look in Archie’s eyes and reached for his hand that rested over his stomach. “Me?”

“Yeah. I don’t know. It’s silly really.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know,” Archie began with a sigh as he shifted slightly while David laced their fingers together. “I was just worried that maybe you had changed.”

“Well, I have changed a little,” David admitted truthfully.

Archie nodded and pulled his hand free in favor of reaching to slide his fingers over David’s bare abdomen. He noted the hard, toned muscles trembling slightly beneath his touch. “But not in the way I thought you might.”

“You thought I’d be different personality wise?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve changed a little in that respect too. At least I think I have. However, not so much that it affects the way I feel about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Archie closed his eyes as David’s hand moved up over his arm to his neck and then onward to cup his cheek lovingly. “I still love you,” he whispered making Archie open his eyes and stare at him in relief.

That’s what Archie had been waiting to hear, to know that his boyfriend still had those feelings for him. He smiled and David finally pulled him close and held on to him with strong arms.

“I love you so much,” David whispered, pressing a kiss to Archie’s cheek. “And no amount of military training or time away from you will ever change that.

That information made Archie’s heart swell and he felt so happy he thought he might burst. “Good, because I don’t think I’ll ever not love you.” Before he could even think about what to say or do next, David’s mouth was back on his and they were kissing hungrily as David rolled to his back pulling Archie right along with him. Archie groaned and whimpered in satisfaction as he straddled David’s thighs.

“Mm, Baby…” David moaned when Archie’s mouth left his lips to slide over his chin and down to his neck.

When Archie felt David’s hand sliding up under the back of his shirt, he sat up and yanked it off, taking both himself and David by surprise. Archie had always been rather modest and never really liked anyone, including David seeing his body so that was a rather bold move for him. He exhaled slowly while staring at David for a moment before bending back down.

As their mouths opened against each other’s, David’s hands began to slide up over Archie’s sides, exploring the newly bared skin with gentle fingers. He felt his boyfriend’s body tremble under his touch; a testament to his desire no doubt. Timidly David moved his hands lower, pressing them into the small of Archie’s back imploring for more contact.

Archie whimpered and automatically rocked his hips, brushing his groin against the growing bulge in David’s boxers. He gasped in surprise, quickly pulling back from David’s mouth with wide eyes.

It didn’t seem to faze David though. He moved on to caress the olive-toned skin that stretched delicately across Archie chest. He smirked as his palms brushed over Archie’s nipples, making him shiver and close his eyes. “You’re beautiful, baby,” he whispered while sitting up to slide his arms back around Archie and to kiss him again. He couldn’t seem to get enough after weeks of not being able to feel the soft warmth of Archie’s lips or taste the sweet succulence of his tongue.

“Cook,” Archie breathed between kisses while his fingers raked gently up and down David’s back.

David only hummed in response; his mouth had already latched onto Archie’s neck. However, it didn’t stay there long because Archie took his head in his hands and forced him to look at him. David noticed how dark and stormy his boyfriend’s eyes were and immediately he felt a shiver run down his spine. “Archie?”

“I uh…” Archie’s stomach felt like it was just one big mass of knots twisting and turning nervously. “I want…” He wasn’t exactly sure how to ask for what he wanted and only hoped that David understood anyway.

Of course, David did, and his breath hitched slightly as his hands stilled, resting comfortably on Archie’s sides. “Really?”

Archie nodded a little more confidently. “Yeah… I mean if… uh, do you?”

A small, nervous laugh escaped David’s lips and he pulled Archie’s mouth back to his, kissing him with as much conviction as he could muster up. He kissed him like that until the younger man went limp in his arms. “God, yes,” he whispered, his breath ghosting over Archie’s cheek. “Yes, baby. I want that so much.” They’d both been hesitant to go that far before because Archie wasn’t sure that he was ready and David would never have taken advantage or pressured him to go further than he wanted. “Um, we need stuff.”

“I have stuff.” Archie laughed giddily at the look that David gave him. “What? I wasn’t sure, but I’d been thinking about it and well, it’s best to be prepared, right?”

David couldn’t argue. In fact, he couldn’t really say anything so he just watched as his boyfriend climbed off the bed and padded over to where his luggage was. He dug through his clothes for a moment before finally pulling out a small brown paper bag.

“I…” he handed the bag to David as he crawled back onto the bed. “I hope it’s the right kind.”

David grinned as he pulled a box of condoms out of the bag along with a small bottle of lubricant. “Um… I think this will do.” He laid the items to the side and tossed the bag to the floor before looking at Archie with a rather serious expression on his face. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

Archie shrugged, feeling goose bumps pop up as David brushed a hand over his upper arm. “A while.”

“And you’re absolutely sure this is what you want?”

The younger man nodded slowly. “I am.” His eyes locked with David’s and he knew that his boyfriend was looking for any signs of doubt that he might have. When he could find none, a slow smiled pulled at the corner of his mouth.

“I love you,” David said, his voice soft and honest as he leaned closer, kissing him with newfound purpose.

Archie’s hand moved up to cup David’s cheek as he allowed him to lower him back down to the mattress. David was gentle and attentive as he explored Archie’s delicate body with his hands and his mouth. Then he was receptive as Archie returned the favor with much eagerness.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of foreplay, David prepared Archie for the final steps of their lovemaking. “Archie,” David whispered as he loomed above him, poised to consummate their relationship. “Still sure?”

“Yes,” Archie breathed heavily, raking his fingers through David’s short hair as he looked directly into his eyes. “I want this. I want you.”

As David began to enter his body, Archie grimaced a bit and squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh gosh…”

“Relax, baby…” David coaxed, having felt Archie’s entire body tense beneath him.

Archie nodded and tried to do just that. His fingers dug into David’s back and he pressed his open mouth against his shoulder biting slightly as David slid further into him.

“Shh,” David soothed, dropping his own head to press kisses to Archie’s shoulder. “Almost there.” Archie gasped, clinging desperately and whimpering softly as his fingernails scraped across David’s back.

David eventually felt Archie’s body begin to relax and he became sheathed completely in it’s warmth. He smiled down at Archie who finally opened his eyes and stared up at him. “You ok?”

Archie nodded, trying to adjust to the new sensations of being filled. “Yeah, I…”

David pressed a kiss to his damp forehead. “It’s ok, baby. I won’t move until you tell me to.” And he didn’t. Even though remaining completely still was difficult, he didn’t move until he knew for sure that Archie wanted him to. Then he began the slow pace that would lead them both to the ultimate pleasure.

 

*****

The next morning Archie awoke with a content smile on his lips, finding himself lying on his side pressed against his boyfriend’s warm naked body, his head resting on his chest that rose and fell with each steady breath. He glanced up to find David still sleeping peacefully. His heart fluttered as he thought back to the night before.

It had been amazing and beautiful despite the bit of awkwardness provided by inexperience. He remembered how gentle David had been and how it felt to watch his own hands rake over his boyfriend’s gorgeous body.

As thoughts of their lovemaking filled his mind, he watched his hand move over the pale torso beneath his head, his fingers skimming over the sparsely scattered hair on David’s chest. Turning his head slightly, he pressed his lips to bare skin.

David stirred slightly and Archie felt his hand move over his back. “Hey…” Archie said softly as he lifted his head to look up at him.

A slow smile spread across David’s lips. “Hey…” he whispered back, his voice rough from sleep.

They stared at each other for a long while, both completely comfortable with the silence, until Archie shifted a bit and leaned in to give David a gentle ‘good morning’ kiss. As he pulled away, David sighed and licked his lips, wanting to savor his lover’s taste. “God, I love you,” he spoke quietly as his eyes opened.

“I love you, too,” Archie told him with a smile before laying his head back down on David’s chest.

David feathered his fingers through Archie’s hair enjoying the feeling of simply lying there with him like that. He looked down as Archie began scattering gentle kisses over his stomach, sporadically sucking at the tender flesh. “Mm, Baby, that feels nice,” he whispered.

“Yeah?” Archie asked with a smile, looking up at him once again.

“Mm Hmm…” he replied as Archie shifted a bit more and resumed kissing a trail over his upper body. “Oooh…” The warmth of Archie’s mouth closed around one of his nipples and he sucked softly for a moment before continuing up to his lips.

“Thank you for last night,” Archie whispered against his boyfriend’s ear after breaking away from a tender kiss. “We should probably get up and get showered. Your mom will be waiting for us.”

David looked to his right at the alarm clock. “Yeah,” he sighed, not really wanting to get out of bed yet. “You know,” he growled playfully taking Archie by surprise and flipping them over. “We should conserve water and shower together.”

Giggling softly, Archie stared up at his boyfriend who hovered above him. “Oh yeah?”

“Mm hmm…and,” David continued as he thrust his hips gently against Archie’s. “We could…”

Whimpering lustfully, Archie threw his arms around David’s neck and pulled him down for another kiss.

 

*****

Their shower ended up being a bit longer than planned, making them late. “About time you two showed up.” Andrew feigned annoyance when he opened the door to the room he and Beth had stayed in. “We were about to leave without you.”

“Yeah… We overslept,” David told him.

“Uh huh…” Andrew teased.

Archie glanced at Beth who was sitting on the edge of one of the two beds that occupied the room. He found himself unable to meet her gaze when she asked them how their night had been. Thankfully, David answered for them both, telling his mom that they’d had a great time hanging out. Archie felt his cheeks heating up when Beth gave them both a knowing look and he had to turn his head to keep her from seeing his blush. He was so not good at keeping things concealed.

They spent the morning hiking around Paddy Creek Wilderness and then had lunch at The Country Café, a place that David had wanted to check out since he’d first heard someone at the base talking about it. The atmosphere was nice and the food was incredible. 

“Mom?” David said in the middle of the meal.

Beth turned to look at him while taking a sip of her tea. “Hmm?”

“What was Dad’s excuse this time?”

“Oh, sweetie,” Beth said gently as she set her cup down and placed a hand on top of his. “He wanted to be here. He’s just really busy.”

David scoffed giving Andrew a disbelieving look. “Just like he was for my high school graduation?”

“Honey…”

“Mom, you don’t have to make excuses for him. I know how he feels about me.”

“He loves you.”

“Yeah,” David replied even though he had a feeling that was far from the truth. “Anyway, next time tell him to…”

“Dave,” Andrew interrupted. “Dad is having a hard time adjusting. That’s all.”

“Whatever,” David said with an exasperated sigh. “I’m sorry I brought it up.”

Archie laid his fork down, suddenly not feeling so well. He hated that their relationship—well not so much their relationship as David’s lifestyle—had caused a rift between he and his dad.

Stan hadn’t disowned him or anything like that. He’d just changed. Like, he never called anymore and he missed important occasions in David’s life, but was always there for Andrew’s milestones. He’d even sent him a card on his eighteenth birthday instead of showing up for the party that Beth had given him. It was disheartening and he was much more grateful to his own parents for not treating him differently even though they still didn’t approve one hundred percent.

“What do you guys want to do next?” David asked, chuckling when all three of them looked at him as though he’d gone mad. “What?”

“This is your weekend, honey. What do you want to do?”

“Honestly?” He asked when his mom questioned him. “I’m just happy to be hanging out with the people I love the most again. I don’t really care what we do.”

Beth smiled, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “Ok then. Boys?” She looked pointedly at Andrew and Archie who were sitting on the other side of their table. “Suggestions?”

Andrew simply shrugged his shoulders, but Archie piped up. “Aren’t there a bunch of military museums around here somewhere?”

 

*****

After visiting a couple of the museums, they had dinner and then went back to the hotel for a few hours before David had to report to his post. They decided to stay in and watch a movie until it was time to say goodbye.

Before they got ready to leave, Beth and Andrew back to their room for a few moments allowing David and Archie to say goodbye in private. Archie was going to stay at the hotel while Beth and Andrew took David back to his post. They’d planned that so their goodbye wouldn’t be awkward or scrutinized.

David smiled and put his fingers under Archie’s chin as they stood in the middle of the room. “It’ll be over before you know it.”

Archie nodded, closing his eyes as David leaned in to kiss him softly. He then wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. “Be careful, ok?”

“Of course!” David held him close for a while, just enjoying the last few moments they had together before they’d be separated for another long period. This time David would be going to Sierra Vista, Arizona training at Fort Huachuca. “I’ll write to you as much as possible.”

Archie felt tears streaming over his cheeks as he held on to David. “Me too.”

“I love you, Archie,” David said. “Don’t ever forget that, ok?”

Archie nodded as David pulled back and looked at him. “I know. I won’t. I love you, too.”

They then said their goodbyes and Archie watched David throw his duffle bag over his shoulder and head out the door.


	4. Chapter Four

A Soldier’s Love

Chapter 4

Eleven weeks into the specialized part of his training and looking forward to the holidays, David was gearing up for his first trip home since July. He’d been busy at Fort Huachuca training for his military occupational specialty as an Intelligence Analyst.

Throughout his field training in basic, he discovered that he was good at pointing out key information during their briefings as well as understanding it—usually before anyone else in his squad. Therefore, Military Intelligence became something that he was most interested in. Scoring exceptionally well on his Army aptitude test had also given him a broader range of jobs to choose from when he was told to make his list of top choices for his MOS. Although David knew even with the high test score he wouldn’t be guaranteed any of his choices, he listed Intelligence Analyst first and foremost.

There was only a slim chance of getting it so he didn’t get his hopes up. In fact, David had been just as surprised as everyone else in his platoon, to learn that he’d been selected for that specific MOS. Now all he had to do was survive the rest of his advanced training and he would be a member of the Military Intelligence Corps.

Life at Fort Huachuca was a little less hectic than it had been at Fort Leonard wood. Of course, there were still lots of rules to be followed and everyone had responsibilities, but the atmosphere was a bit more laid back. 

The best thing about it was the barracks. They now had rooms instead of an open bay. David’s roommate was a guy named Christian. He was from Tennessee and had done his BCT at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. David’s first impression of him was ok. He didn’t think he would have any issues with sharing space with him; not that it mattered either way. He didn’t have a choice but to share a room with whoever the Army put him with. However, it made life better if he was able to get along well with his roommate.

It turned out that he was right. Christian was cool and it was uncanny how much they had in common. They quickly became good friends. It also helped that they were the same age. Sierra Vista, AZ wasn’t exactly a happening town and since they were both under age, there wasn’t a whole lot for them to do except study and play video games in their free time. That was another perk that AIT had over BCT. After a few weeks, they were granted permission to have electronics and there was always internet and phone access after PT, field training, and class.

At the moment, he was alone in the barracks packing for his flight home when Christian joined him. “Yo, Cook! You ready to head home?”

“Hell yeah!” David replied with a broad grin as he zipped up the duffle bag on his bunk. “What are your big plans?”

“I’m going straight to my girlfriend’s house for some sweet, sweet, welcome home tail,” he bragged. “And then I might go see the family.”

David chuckled, leaning against the top bunk. “Well at least you have your priorities in line.”

“Damn right! How about you, man? Got anything special planned?”

“Mostly just family stuff. I’m stoked to be going home again. I miss everyone, my birthday is in a few days and it’s Christmas, man.”

“Mama making a big dinner and all that?” Christian asked. “My family does. It’s ridiculous how many people we can fit into our small house.”

David nodded his head as his mind wondered a bit. That’s what normally happened whenever he and Andrew didn’t go to his Dad’s for the holidays. However, this year he’d decided not to go his Dad’s place. He was just going to stick around and spend the holidays with his mom. It would probably just be the two of them because his brother was more than likely still going to their dad’s.

“Well,” Christian said as he grabbed his own bag that was already packed from his bunk. “I should be heading out of here. I have flight to catch.”

“Yeah, me too,” David said with a wave of his hand. “Have a good time at home.”

“You too, man. See ya in a couple weeks.”

About an hour after that, David boarded the plane that would take him home to Missouri to be with his loved ones for nearly two weeks. He couldn’t wait.

 

*****

Beth was waiting for David when his plane landed at Kansas City International. Once he retrieved his bag from baggage claim, he made his way through the airport to find her. He immediately felt his heart swell with joy when he saw her standing in the lobby. He jogged up to her and threw his arms around her, probably giving her a bit of a scare since she wasn’t facing him at the time. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

The older woman smiled, turned around, and hugged her son tightly for a moment as everyone else just passed them by. “Not as much as I’ve missed you, I’m sure.” She then kissed his cheek and pulled back to look at him. “How was the flight?”

He shrugged and tugged at the strap of the duffle bag slung over his shoulder. “It was alright.”

“He’s still at school,” Beth told him when she noticed him look anxiously at his watch. “I told him to stop by for dinner, so I imagine he’ll be there shortly after we arrive, if not before.”

“Have I ever told you what an awesome mom you are?”

“I think you have, but it never hurts to keep reminding me,” she told him with a smile before looping her arm with his and letting him guide them through the crowded airport.

“Can I drive?” David asked after throwing his bag into the trunk of his mom’s Ford Taurus; the same one that he didn’t want to be caught driving in high school because of how uncool it would make him look. “I know. I know. I used to hate when you’d make me drive this car, but seriously, right now, I just want to drive. You know, before I forget how.”

Beth chuckled lightly and tossed the keys to him. “Just obey the speed limits and watch for icy spots.”

“Yes, Mother,” he retorted before climbing into the driver’s seat. He hadn’t realized how much he missed driving until he wasn’t allowed to do it anymore.

The conversation held in the thirty-minute drive back to Blue Springs was mostly about David’s plans to stay home for the holidays. His mother, while somewhat disagreeing, understood his feelings. She’d tried to make him understand that things with his dad would eventually be ok again, but he just wasn’t hearing it so she decided just to let him do whatever he thought was best.

When they arrived at their home, the driveway was empty except for his own vehicle that sat parked over to the side and out of the way, indicating that neither Andrew nor Archie had beaten them there. While Beth went into the living room to check the answering machine, David went up to his room to put his things away and to change clothes.

He was just putting on a clean button-down shirt when he heard a knock on his door. Without looking up from buttoning his shirt, he yelled, “Come in.”

The door opened slowly, creaking slightly and Archie poked his head inside. “Hey.”

That’s when David finally looked up, a smile immediately forming on his lips as he forgot about the last three top buttons. “Hey!” He took a few steps towards Archie as he leaned back against the door to close it.

Archie smiled almost shyly and left his hands resting against the door waiting for David to say something, anything at that point. He was so happy to see him again, yet he didn’t want to seem overenthusiastic by jumping him or something.

David didn’t, however. He remained completely quiet looking at Archie as it if were the first time he’d ever seen him. So Archie decided to do it for him. He was just about to speak when David lifted a hand to cup his cheek. His eyelashes fluttered and his tongue darted out to wet his dry lips in anticipation for what he knew was coming.

At first, David’s kiss was soft and tender. He took his time reacquainting himself with his lover’s mouth; savoring his sweet taste.

After several long moments of letting David kiss him like that, Archie slid his arms around his neck and moved away from the door, pressing closer to David and groaning softly.

David took that as a signal to deepen their kiss. As he did so, his arms wrapped around his younger boyfriend and lifted him swiftly. Archie’s surprised gasp gave him the perfect opportunity to push his tongue forward.

A low whimper sounded in Archie’s throat and he hooked his legs around David’s waist as their tongues rolled over one another both seeking dominance. His mind reeled and his body suddenly felt ablaze when David pressed him against the door and rocked his hips slightly. “Oh, gosh,” he murmured, pulling his mouth from David’s and throwing his head back against the door creating a small thud. “Cook…” he warned regrettably.

Realizing where they were and what he was doing, David’s actions came to a halt and he buried his face against Archie’s neck, breathing heavily. “Dear God, I’ve missed you,” he said knowing how passé that must sound. He didn’t care though. It was true.

Archie laughed softly, still panting softly from the mind-blowing kiss that he’d just been a part of. His fingers played idly at the nape of David’s neck and he looked into his eyes. “I know the feeling.”

A moment later when their breathing had finally returned to normal, David let Archie down and he chuckled. “Sorry for nearly molesting you against the wall.”

“Don’t,” Archie scolded. “If your mom and brother weren’t just right downstairs, I might have let you finish.”

“Do not tease me, Archuleta.”

“Welcome home, Cook.”

“Mmm,” David moaned in response since his mouth had already descended upon Archie’s once more.

 

*****

Once they'd both composed themselves, David led the way downstairs to the kitchen where his mother was already starting to prepare dinner and his brother was being his obnoxious self. "Drew, stop being such a brat and help mom with something."

Andrew turned around from his seat on the barstool and glared at his older brother before discreetly flipping him off. David only grinned and moved to give his little brother a hug. "Missed you, man."

"Yeah, well I didn't miss you," Andrew retorted.

"Sure," Beth interrupted to disagree with her son's statement. "He's been such brooder since you've been gone."

David only grinned and ruffled his hair because he knew the boy hated that. "Oh it's ok. I didn't miss him much either. I was just trying to make him feel good."

Archie rolled his eyes at the two of them as they slipped into a playful, brotherly banter. He was quite used to them at this point and knowing them, they'd go at it for a while. So he walked over to the sink where Beth was rinsing some raw chicken breast to offer his help.

By the time dinner was ready, the brothers had moved into the living room and were playing a video game in which Andrew was losing terribly. Archie stood in the doorway for a moment just watching them and smiling because he was so happy to have his boyfriend back home for a few days.

"You may as well give up, bro," David informed Andrew as their fingers moved frantically over the controls in their hands. "Chris and I play this all the time and I am the master."

Even with that knowledge Andrew didn't back down too easily. He held his own right up until Beth wandered in behind Archie to tell them that dinner was on the table. Both boys knew that their game was over for the time being so they switched it off after saving the game and got up to head into the dining room.

"So who is Chris?" Andrew asked as he spooned a heap of mashed potatoes onto his plate.

"Christian is my roommate," David explained before telling him more about his friend. "He's a pretty cool guy. I'll introduce you all to him at graduation."

Archie frowned at the mention of graduation. He had a show choir competition that month and he had a hunch that it would be the same weekend. "Have you heard a date for that yet?" He asked.

"Yeah. It's the nineteenth." David passed the bowl of green beans to his mom. "I think they said ours is at noon."

Archie sighed, but hid his disappointment. He would tell David later about competition. He was certain that he would understand, but it didn't make him feel any better.

After dinner, David grabbed Archie by the hand and pulled him to the living room where Beth was sitting. "Mom, Arch and I are going out for a while."

"Ok. Just be careful, the roads might be icy tonight," she warned.

"I will!"

A few minutes later, they were in the older model Jeep Cherokee that David had bought in high school when he'd finally earned enough money from his part time work at the local grocery store. Archie sat back in the passenger seat after securing his seat belt. "So where are we going?"

"I don't know," David replied, glancing over at him as he drove down the deserted two-lane road. "I just wanted to spend some time alone with you."

With a smile, Archie reached over and slipped his hand into David's that was resting on the console between them. "Sounds like an awesome plan."

David smirked. "Yeah, I thought so."

The two of them chatted about a number of things as they rode around aimlessly in the dark. It was a quiet night in Blue Springs. There wasn't a lot of traffic on the roads; probably because of the weather they'd been having. The snow was deep enough to keep most people inside.

"Cook?" Archie said timidly once they were parked along a secluded back road on the outskirts of town.

"Hold on a second," David said while opening his door and getting out.

 

Archie heard the crunch of snow as David walked around outside He jumped slightly as the back passenger door swung open. "What the heck are you doing?" He asked while scrambling to unbuckle his seatbelt so he could turn around. He lifted an eyebrow when he saw David laying the backseat down. Then he spotted a couple of blankets folded neatly in the very back of the vehicle along with a couple of pillows. "You still have those in here?"

"Of course. I figured we'd be more comfy back here."

"Uh huh," Archie gave him a teasing glare. "You just want to relive all of those nights from last year." He was referring to the many nights that they’d skip out early on ballgames or other things to go park on that very same road. It was a nice make-out spot. Only a few people lived on that road and most of them were elderly and in before eight pm anyway.

"Well," David began as he climbed into the jeep, shutting the door and kicking off his shoes. "Don't you?"

Chewing thoughtfully on his lower lip while watching David spread the blankets out under the dim glow of the dome light, he removed his own shoes and said, "I'd rather relive the night of your basic graduation."

That got David's attention and his head whipped around to look at Archie who was reaching to hit the automatic lock button on the door. "Yeah?"

“Mm hmm,” was all Archie said before climbing over the console to join David on their makeshift bed.

Realization dawned on David as their lips met and Archie took the initiative. He really needed to stop worrying about coming on too strong where his boyfriend was concerned. Archie obviously wanted the same things he did, so there was no point in being so apologetic. He groaned delightedly and reached for the switch on the overhead dome light.

 

*****

A couple hours later, as they lay tangled under one of the blankets Archie breathed deeply with satisfaction. His pulse continued to race as he pressed his face into David's bare, still heaving chest. Then he felt David pressing a kiss to his sweat-dampened hair and small a smile played on his lips. "I wish we could stay like this all night," he whispered.

“Yeah,” David said with a content sigh. They lay there for a moment before David chuckled and shifted slightly. “I don’t think your mom would appreciate me keeping you out all night when you have school in the morning.”

“Probably not,” Archie replied tiredly while snuggling closer. “Cook?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

David smiled, looking at his lover, whose face remained nuzzled against his chest. He moved his hand up, sliding it up over Archie’s arm. “I know. I love you, too.” He simply stared at Archie for a while, taking in the sheer beauty as the winter moonlight made his skin glow. He knew if the two of them lay there any longer, Archie was going to fall asleep; he began to move, trying to untangle his limbs from Archie’s. “We should be going, Arch,” he said as he sat up. He laughed lightly when Archie protested with a growl. “Come on. I have to get you home.”

 

*****

The rest of David’s break went by too fast for either of their liking. They spent as much time together as they could. That included getting up before five in the morning to meet for a run followed by breakfast with Archie’s family and hanging out with some old friends from school. David spent Christmas day with his mom and Archie stopped by later that evening for a small dinner with them followed by a viewing of Christmas Vacation and the exchange of gifts. David was pretty sure he would consider it one of the best Christmases that he’d ever had.

Later that week when Archie broke the news to David about having choir competition the same weekend as his graduation, David was cool with it. He assured Archie that it was fine and that it really didn’t matter because he was probably coming home right after for another two-week stay before he had to go to his yet-to-be assigned duty post. Archie felt a little better about that, but then he worried that David might not get to come home between assignments. If that turned out to be the case, he would be highly upset with himself for putting Choir before his boyfriend.

Upon his return to Fort Huachuca, David immediately fell back into the routine and was able to finish the last two weeks of his training without a flaw. He also got his new assignment. He and Christian both would be going to Fort Riley in Kansas. The fact that it was in Kansas was a relief to him because he had once again lucked out and was being stationed closer to home than most. Naturally, the assignment also came with even more good news for him; he wouldn’t be starting his duties until the beginning of February so that gave him at least two weeks of freedom at home. He was ecstatic.

After graduation, David celebrated with his mom and brother by spending a day sightseeing in the historic, neighboring town of Tombstone before flying back to Missouri. If nothing else, that little trip gave Andrew something to talk about when he got home. In fact, as they sat around Beth’s living room, Archie thought he was never going to shut up about it. He had lost interest in it about an hour earlier, but even so, he smiled and listened to Andrew speak animatedly about Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday and the O.K. Corral while laying on the couch curled up against David’s side.

“Tell him about the ghost tour,” David said with a chuckle.

“Oh, fu…” Andrew bit his tongue and settled for a less offensive thing to say to his brother when Beth cleared her throat. “Dave thought it would be fun to scare the living bejeezus out of me.”

“Come on, Drew. Even Mom thought it was funny.” David winked at their mom who was sitting on her armchair hiding her smile behind her coffee mug.

“It wasn’t funny you jerk.”

“What did you do?” Archie asked, wanting to know exactly what kind of joke David played on Andrew while they were on their ghost tour in Tombstone. Of course, after David told him, he laughed right along with them, but didn’t hesitate to tell his boyfriend that it had been mean and he shouldn’t have done it.

It wasn’t long after Andrew finished all of his tales about their adventure that Beth said good night and headed upstairs to her bedroom leaving the three boys alone to catch up. Archie had permission from his parents to spend the night even though he had school the next morning. He didn’t ask them for something like that often, so he really didn’t have to beg or anything.

The longer they talked, the more difficult it was for Archie to hold his eyes open. He eventually drifted off to sleep, still leaning on David. Andrew noticed first and shook his head. “Wow. He just can’t hang, can he?”

David smiled fondly while glancing down at him. “It’s been a long day.” He then laughed seconds later when Andrew yawned. “Who can’t hang?”

“Jetlag.”

“Right.”

“That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it,” Andrew stated as he stood up to stretch. “Night, Bro.”

“Goodnight.” David sighed and remained still for a little while just reveling in the quiet night while his thoughts ran rampant in his head. In just two weeks, he would be moving to yet another State and he would be leaving his family, friends, and Archie behind once more. He was excited about his job, but at the same time, he really didn’t want to leave again. Each time seemed to be harder than the last.

Finally, after at least twenty solid minutes of thinking about his life and everyone in it, he shifted just enough to allow himself to see Archie more clearly. He reached up and ran his fingers gently along Archie’s hairline before speaking softly. “Archie? Hey, baby, wake up.”

“Hmm?” Archie hummed as his eyes fluttered open.

“We should pull the couch out so you can go to bed.”

“Oh,” Archie sighed as he rose up. “No, I’m ok. Just dozed…”

David grinned and shook his head. “You were snoring.”

“I was not!” Archie protested with wide eyes. “I don’t snore?”

“Ahh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” David teased and watched amusedly as Archie’s expression changed into the cutest pout he’d ever seen. “Ok… Ok, you don’t.”

A pleasant whine sounded in Archie’s throat as David leaned in and gave him a tender kiss. It was a short, chaste kiss but Archie felt his heart begin to race nonetheless. David always had that affect on him. He sighed heavily when David pulled away and let his head fall back against the couch. “Cook? What’s the matter?”

Without turning his head, he glanced at Archie who was staring at him with concern written all over his face. “Nothing, babe. I’ve just been thinking. That’s all.”

“You want to talk about it?” Archie asked, tilting his head to the side while waiting for an answer.

“It’s nothing really,” David began, but the look on Archie’s face made him change his mind about talking. “Just stuff about the future; our future.”

“What about it?”

“Ok… For starters, what’s going to happen while I’m in Kansas and you go off to college?”

“Well,” Archie said giving him a puzzled look. “First of all, I’m not going off to college. I’m staying here and attending Blue River Community.” He saw the confusion in David’s eyes and went on to explain. “I know I was accepted to State, but I decided that I want to stay here. As far as us, I kind of assumed things would stay the same, ya know?”

“I don’t know how long I’ll be there,” David explained. “It could be months or it could be years.”

“It’s two hours away, Cook…” Archie tried to reason. “You were farther away than that for Basic and for AIT.”

“I know.”

Archie felt the sting of tears biting at the back of his eyes, and he tried not to let his emotions show. However, he was almost sure he was shaking with fear at that very moment. “So um, what’s… what do you think we should do differently?”

“Honestly? I was thinking that maybe eventually we should think about getting a place together.”

At first, Archie was so shocked he didn’t know what to say or do so he just stared at David with a look of confusion plastered on his face. That was actually the last thing he had been expecting to hear. If he was being honest, he’d had the notion in his head that David might have been thinking about breaking up.

Because of Archie’s lack of response, David thought that perhaps it was a bad idea to talk about that so soon and immediately started to apologize just as he had when he’d first brought up the notion of them becoming an item. “I’m sorry, Arch. That’s probably a stupid idea, huh?”

Archie was already shaking his head. “N-no. I don’t think it’s a stupid idea,” he assured. “I was just… wow. You want us to live together?”

David smirked. “Well, think about it? We’d be together a lot more and wouldn’t have to steal our private time…”

Archie smiled. “That would be nice…”

“It’s something to think about.”

“Oh most definitely. But uh, what about the military’s rules? Won’t you have to stay at your post or something?”

“I’ll be allowed to have housing off post, and it’s not something we’ll go into right away. I was just thinking about it.”

Archie nodded in understanding and settled back down next to David, cuddling close. “So where exactly would we live?”

“I was thinking about Topeka?”

“Topeka?”

“Or the outskirts of Topeka,” David clarified. “It’s almost the halfway mark between here and Fort Riley. It would be an easy commute for both of us.”  
Archie grinned, pressing his face into David’s grey Army sweatshirt as he realized that David hadn’t just thought about this while they were lying on the couch. “When did you start thinking about this idea?”

“The moving in together part? Probably right after Basic. I didn’t start thinking about where or how until I got my assignment.”

“Cook?” Archie asked a few minutes later after they’d sat in comfortable silence. “What if… I mean we’re not exactly in an open relationship and what if people start to question?”

“I think we’ll be ok as long as we’re carful.”

Archie nodded in agreement but he still had some reservations about it.

“Believe me, baby, I don’t like keeping us a secret, but I have to.”

“I know,” Archie said while shifting so that their faces were level with each other’s. “I understand and I’m ok with that. I just worry about what might happen if someone finds out.”

“Don’t,” David demanded. “If that should ever happen then we will deal with it.”

“I don’t want to ruin your life, Cook.”

“Ruin my life?” David asked, shaking his head slightly as he cupped Archie’s face in both his hands. “Baby, the only way you could ruin my life is to not be in it.”

They ended their conversation with a long, overdue kiss that left them both breathless and wanting more. However, David reminded him that he needed to get to bed so he wouldn’t over sleep the next morning. “We’ll talk more about this later, ok?”

Archie replied with a reluctant nod and they both got up from the couch. David helped him pull the bed out and make it up before kissing him one last time and heading up to his own room where he promised his mom he would sleep this time.


	5. Chapter Five

A Soldier’s Love

Chapter 5

 

Upon his arrival to his newly assigned post, Fort Riley, Kansas—home of the 1st Infantry Division—David was briefed along with a few other new arrivals and then put into his position with 2nd Brigade Special Troops Battalion.

It didn’t take him long to settle into a routine. The post was nice, he had his own room, and there were plenty of things for him to do whenever he had free time; he liked it. Sometimes, after his daily duties were fulfilled, he would join Christian and few other guys from his company for bowling at Custer Hill or he would go to the post’s fitness center to workout. All of those things made being away from his loved ones a little easier.

Meanwhile, back home in Blue Springs, everything seemed to be moving in high gear for Archie. He was finishing his last year in high school and putting in work applications at all the local businesses for the summer; maybe even longer, depending on what his class schedule would look like in the fall.

He was excited about graduation, because not only would he officially be finished with high school, but also because David’s request for leave had been granted and he would be home for the weekend. They’d made plans with Andrew, Neal, and Andy to go to Lake Jacomo, where Neal’s parents owned a piece of property right on the lake. They’d made sure to keep that particular weekend free from renters so the five boys could spend the weekend there without being bothered by tourists.

The plan was perfect except for one thing. The last time Archie talked to David on the phone, he’d told Archie that he was inviting his friend Christian up to the lake. That had put somewhat of a damper on Archie’s excitement. It wasn’t that Archie didn’t want David to have friends, old and new, it was simply that having someone who wasn’t part of their circle would mean they had to watch what they said and did especially about Archie and David , since Christian was someone who was in the military with David.

 

*****

On the day of Graduation, David was running later than expected after he was caught up in some roadwork just outside of Blue Springs and he didn’t have time to go home and change out of his uniform before heading over to the High School for Andrew and Archie’s graduation. He called Beth to let her know that he was on his way and made sure to tell her to save him a seat.

When he finally arrived, Pomp & Circumstance was already blaring over the PA the graduates were beginning to walk into the auditorium. Quietly, he made his way through the rows of chairs, stopping a few times to say a brief “hello” to some people that he knew. He finally made it to where his mom was sitting with Lupe, Jeff, and all of Archie’s siblings. He said hello to them and shook Jeff’s hand with a firm grip. Then he bent down to give Lupe a hug, listening as she told him how handsome he looked.

“Hey, Ma,” he finally said, also stooping down to hug Beth before he sat down in the chair next to her.

“Hey, sweetie. How’s it going?”

“Fine. Staying busy,” he replied while looking around the packed room. His eyes fell upon the couple sitting a few rows ahead of them. “Nice to see that Dad and Vickie could make it this time.”

Beth instinctively put her arm around David’s shoulder, giving him a little squeeze. The ceremony lasted a little over an hour, but David made sure to clap and whoop the loudest when David Archuleta was called. When it eventually ended, everyone exited the auditorium and scattered throughout the hallways while the graduates reunited with their families.

“David!” Vickie said with a bright smile, approaching him while they waited for Andrew. “It’s so good to see you! We missed you at Christmas.”

David forced a smile and managed not to comment on that last statement. “Nice to see you too, Vick.” Then his father reached for his hand and offered a “Hello, son,” to which David replied, “Long time, Dad.”

“Yeah,” Stan said, and David could tell that he wasn’t speaking to him because he wanted to. “How’s the Army?”

David shrugged and a smile formed on his lips when he saw Archie and Andrew walking down the hallway in their direction. “It’s the Army. Can’t really talk about my job though. Confidentiality and all. You know how it is.” He then—without further room for conversation—excused himself to go join the Archuletas who were talking to Andrew. When he reached their small cluster, he drew his brother into a fierce hug and congratulated him. “I’m so proud of you, man.”

Andrew snickered and stepped back to give David a cynical look. “Dude, save the bs!”

David’s mouth fell open as he was slightly affronted by his brother’s accusation, but before he could say anything, Andrew’s face gave him away. “Jerk.”

After Andrew said goodbye to Archie’s family and walked away to join his own, David moved on to hug Archie. “Congrats, Babe,” he whispered, squeezing him tight.

“Thanks,” Archie replied as he pulled away from David’s embrace. As he did, he looked over David’s shoulder at David’s family as they each took a turn talking to Andrew. “Oh! Your dad is here!”

“Yeah,” David said with indifference. “Do you have any plans right now? Want to go with me to pick up the cakes for the party?” His mom along with Lupe had rented a ballroom in the community building so they could have Andrew and Archie a small graduation party before they left for the lake and Beth had asked him to help with a few last minute things.

“Yeah. Sure,” Archie replied. “Just let me tell Mom and Dad and say goodbye to Brooke.” He started to walk away, but then paused. “By the way,” he added with an approving smile. “You look super cute in that uniform.”

With an amused expression, David shook his head and started to respond. However, his brother interrupted by calling his name. He looked back to where his family still stood.

“Dad wants to know if you want to join us for ice cream at DQ.”

David’s gaze moved from Andrew to his father who was watching him, waiting impatiently for an answer. “Uh, you know what? You guys go on ahead. I have to go pick up some things for the party. I’ll see you there.”

By that time, Archie had returned and was standing at his side looking back and forth between David and Stan. “Ready?” He finally asked once he realized that he wouldn’t be interrupting.

“Yeah,” David nodded. “Let’s go.”

As they walked down one of the now deserted hallways of Blue Springs South, Archie handed David his cap and went about unzipping his graduation gown so that he could finally get out of it. “Gosh, I hate this thing.”

David only smiled, having been preoccupied with memories from his time at that high school. Although he’d only been gone for a year, it seemed like an eternity. His life had changed so much. When they finally reached the end of the hallway, David opened the back door to let them out into the lot where he’d parked.

“Whoa!” Archie exclaimed his eyes growing wide as David unlocked the doors on a brand-new, royal blue Escape. “This is nice.”

“Thanks!” David replied while opening the driver’s side door. “I’ve had it for three days.”

Archie threw his gown onto the backseat before climbing into the passenger side. “So you sold the Jeep?”

“Yeah,” David replied, smirking slightly. “Don’t worry though. I kept the blankets.”

Archie’s cheeks turned a slight shade of red when David winked at him, but he soon shrugged with the realization that he had no reason to be embarrassed. “Good to know.”

As David pulled out of the parking lot, Archie began messing with the dials on the radio until he found a song that he liked. “So are you excited about the weekend?” He asked, glancing up at his boyfriend.

“Absolutely. I hope Drew remembered to pack everything.”

“He did!” Archie assured him. “I made a list and helped him. It’s all waiting in your garage along with my stuff. All we have to do is load it up.”

“Huh,” David said with a grin. “I knew I kept you around for a reason.”

“Hey!”

David laughed again when Archie smacked his shoulder. “Do you mind if I stop by the house and change before we pick up the cakes?”

Archie raised a curious eyebrow at his boyfriend who only gave him a devious smirk in return. If he was being honest, Archie wasn’t all that concerned about David changing out of his uniform. He found him quite attractive in the camouflage and combat boots. However, stopping by the house meant they would have a few minutes of privacy, and that was something he just wasn’t willing to sacrifice. So, he told David that it was fine with him if they went there first.

 

*****

After the party, David drove Archie and Andrew back to Beth’s place where they were supposed to meet Neal and Andy. He backed into the driveway and then got out to open the garage door. Just as Archie had promised, all of their camping gear sat neatly next to the door, ready to go. The three of them loaded everything up and then waited for their friends to arrive.

“So why isn’t Brooke coming along this weekend?” David asked from his spot next to Andrew on the front porch where he’d settled while they waited.

“She didn’t want to be the only girl,” Archie explained. “I told her that Neal’s girlfriend was going, but she still wasn’t satisfied. I think she just doesn’t like camping.”

David laughed softly not quite understanding Brooke’s logic. “So Kira’s coming?”

“No,” Andrew replied. “Well, she was, but then she had something else come up. It’s just us guys this weekend. Roughin’ it, tryin’ to survive in the untamed wilderness.”

“God, don’t make it sound like Deliverance or something,” David complained, giving his brother a shove. “I had to spend a couple days in the woods without any of this stuff back in basic. This is nothing.”

Archie laughed even though he really didn’t get the joke. It was ok though. He was sure he probably didn’t want to know. “So when is Christian coming up?”

“Chris is coming?” Andrew questioned, giving David a skeptical look.

“Uh, yeah.” David sighed, knowing that Archie—although he hadn’t said anything—wasn’t too thrilled with the idea. “He’s a cool dude,” he reasoned. “I want him to meet everyone.”

“Awesome,” Andrew muttered. “When’s he gonna be here?”

“Sometime tomorrow. I gave him GPS coordinates and he’s going to leave Riley in the morning.” He looked over at Archie who was quietly petting the cat that had wandered up onto the porch. “I think you’ll like him, Arch.”

“Oh yeah, definitely,” Andrew agreed. “I liked him.”

“Well that doesn’t really say a whole lot,” Archie deadpanned without looking up.

David cracked up while Andrew glared at him. “God, you act more and more like Dave every day. It’s so sad.”

Just then Andy pulled into the drive way and Neal jumped out of the passenger side. “We ready?”

The three guys scrambled up from where they were sitting and headed to David’s Escape. “Did you pack your guitars?” David asked them as he opened his door and reached for the pair of sunglasses he had hooked on his shirt collar.

“Are we planning on sitting around the campfire singing Kumbaya or something?” Andrew asked in annoyance.

His question went ignored as Neal answered David affirmatively and asked him the same question. “Of course,” David replied. “I haven’t played in forever though.”

Archie smiled at the thought of getting to hear David play and sing again. It had been a long time since he’d had that pleasure and he was suddenly looking forward to it. “Don’t worry; it’s like riding a bike.”

“And just how would you know?” David asked with a laugh while everyone else got into the vehicles. As far as he knew, Archie’s specialty was still with a piano and he had never played a guitar before.

“I’m assuming it’s the same with any instrument.”

“Ahh, I see.” David slid into his seat and started the ignition. “I thought maybe you’d picked guitar lessons or something.”

“No,” Archie said with furrowed brows. “You’re supposed to teach me that, remember?”

“Of course. Maybe we can get started on that this weekend,” he said as he pulled out of the driveway and followed Neal down the road.

It took them about a half an hour—give or take a few minutes—to reach the cabin at the lake. When they pulled up to the structure, Archie was in awe having never seen it before. “Whoa…”

“Nice, huh?”

Archie looked over at his boyfriend who was smiling broadly and looking at the cabin as he killed the engine. “Yeah. How many rooms does it have?”

“Enough,” David said with a playful smirk.

“Oh my God!” Drew groaned, quickly opening his door. “I’m finding the one that is the farthest away from yours.”

That time the blush that crept into Archie’s cheeks was probably warranted. David, of course, only laughed and opened his door. “Come on, babe. We have a lot to do before we can get this relaxing weekend started.”

 

*****

Later that night, after they got everything cleaned up from dinner, they decided to meet up around the campfire that Andrew had built near the lake’s shore. While Neal hauled their guitars down, David and Archie gathered up skewers, chips, and all the things necessary to make s’mores.

Andy also brought a cooler along but much to Archie’s dismay, there was little in it besides beer and Red Bull. He managed to find a bottle of water near the bottom and confiscated it before anyone else had a chance. Then he settled on the ground in front of David who had sat down on one of the logs lying near the fire.

“Comfy?” David asked as he pulled his boyfriend back to fit perfectly between his legs.

“Mm Hmm,” Archie replied tilting his head back to look up at David with a cheerful smile.

“Good.” David then leaned forward, sighing as he wrapped his arms around him. “Me too.”

As the five men sat there, watching the fire crackling in the dark, they chatted about the things that were going on in each other’s lives and David took the opportunity to tease Neal about his girlfriend, saying that he was finally whipped. Neal was a sport and took the teasing for a while, but then he flipped David off and suggested that they play some music. After a few quirky camping songs that they all sang along to while making s’mores and accidently—or not so accidently in Andrews case—catching marshmallows on fire, Neal and Andy played an acoustic version of a new song they were working on for their band’s next EP.

When the song ended, David complimented their skills while pulling a sticky, halfway-burnt marshmallow from Archie’s skewer as he reached it back to him. “I think it sounds great.”

“Me too,” Andrew added before yawning loudly. “Excuse me, but I think I’m beat.”

“What you can’t hang?” David asked, teasing his brother.

“I was up at seven a.m. thank you very much.”

“Oh boo hoo,” David mocked as he licked the rest of the marshmallow from his fingers. “I was up at five.”

“So? You’re used to it,” Andrew reasoned as he stood up and leaned the skewer he was using up against an old tree trunk. “I shall see you all sometime in the morning, but not too early.”

“Yeah,” Andy agreed, also standing up. “It has been a long ass day. Tomorrow night, I can stay up longer.”

David looked over Archie’s shoulder at Neal who was sitting across from him. “You too?”

“No, I’m good for a little while, but I think I’m going to go call Kira.”

David snickered. “Ok, man. See you all in the morning,” he said while leaning down to whisper in Archie’s ear. “You’re not sleepy yet, are you?”

Archie shook his head, a smile forming on his lips. “Nah. I took a nap earlier while you and Neal were trying to get the boat started.”

“Oh,” David teased causing Archie to giggle. “Resting up for tonight, were ya?”

“Well… this might be the only free time we have to be a couple. I didn’t want to sleep through it.”

David sighed, resting his chin on Archie’s shoulder. “Are you upset with me for inviting Chris? I know this was supposed to be our weekend and all but…”

“He’s your friend, Cook. I’m not upset with you,” Archie told him although he was a little displeased with the idea because… yeah, it was supposed to be their weekend. He’d been looking forward to spending the entire time being boyfriends, but now they couldn’t because David was bringing an outsider in. However, he wasn’t going to act like one of those boyfriends and risk having David mad at him. He was going to suck it up and enjoy the weekend as much as he could.

“You sure?”

“Yes. I’m looking forward to meeting him.”

“Good.” David grinned and nuzzled against Archie’s neck. “So what do you want to do now that we’re completely alone?”

Archie pursed his lips and pretended to think really hard about his decision. “You could sing me a song.”

David’s laughter echoed in the quiet night when he heard Archie’s request. “Sing you a song?”

“Mm hmm.” Archie leaned back a bit more, resting his head on David’s shoulder as he looked up at his older lover. “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard you sing and when you guys mentioned bringing your guitars, I realized just how much I missed hearing your voice.”

David smiled down at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. “What do you want me to sing?”

“Anything,” Archie replied happily.

After clearing his throat David took a moment to rack his brain for a song. Finally, he settled on one that he often heard at the bowling alley where he and some guys from his unit hung out. There was usually some drunk guy selecting it on the jukebox in order to come on to some random chick that might be there on any given night. It always made him think of Archie though. “Come a little closer, baby,” he began, his gravelly voice causing goose bumps to pop up over Archie’s arms. “I feel like laying you down, on a bed of sweet surrender where we can work it all out. There ain’t nothin’ that love can’t fix, and boy it’s right here at our fingertips…”

Archie grinned and closed his eyes, just listening to the sound of David’s rough voice as he sang such intimate lyrics to him. Just like before when they were in choir together, Archie could get lost in his singing. His boyfriend loved to rock out to grungy rock anthems, but Archie’s favorites had always been his low tempo song choices. David emoted so much, and his voice was just so raw and pleasant-sounding.

“I love you,” David added at the end of the song as he planted a tender kiss against Archie’s cheek.

Archie’s eyes fluttered open to find David staring down at him, only inches away. “Love you too,” he replied as he reached up to place his hand against David’s cheek. “That was beautiful.”

“And cheesy,” David laughed, admiring the way Archie’s skin glowed in the flickering light of the fire.

“I didn’t think it was cheesy,” Archie argued.

“No?”

“Uh-uh.”

They stared at each other for a moment before David finally spoke again. “What are you thinking?”

“About how much I want you to kiss me right now,” Archie told him, his eyes shining with bright with desire.

David didn’t hesitate, cradling Archie’s head in his hand as he tilted his own down to kiss him just as he wanted.

 

****

He opened his eyes, blinking against the bright light of the lamp that stood in the corner. The first thing that he noticed was that he was David’s absence. He rolled over to look behind him at the spot where his boyfriend had been. The sheets were rumpled and cool when he touched them. He sat up slightly and looked around the room. At first he thought he was alone, but them he caught a glimpse of something to the left of the bed. “Cook?” He asked with an amused laugh.

“Hmm?” David grunted as he pushed himself up from the floor, pausing to look at Archie for a second before going back down.

“What are you…?” Archie leaned over and looked over the edge of the bed where David was doing push-ups. “Oh…”

David continued, doing a few more push-ups while Archie lay watching, before he got up and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. “Good morning,” he greeted, reaching over to run his fingers lightly down Archie’s bare spine; appreciating the tanned, flawless skin. He watched as Archie turned over, the sheet around his waist slipping just a bit.

“Why are you up?”

“Habit. Did I wake you?”

“I don’t think so,” Archie replied, stretching a bit.

“You want to go for a run with me?”

“Now?”

“Yeah,” David said with a laugh as Archie got up, taking a sheet with him to find his clothes. It was kind of funny how at this time last year, Archie was the one who had to drag David out of bed for morning exercise. “The sun isn’t up yet and it’s still cool.”

“Alright, just give me a few minutes to get dressed.”

As Archie walked by David reached out and grabbed his wrist so he could pull him back over to the bed where he was still sitting. “Don’t I get a good morning kiss?”

Archie giggled, stumbling slightly into David’s embrace. “Oh, I guess you can have one.”

 

****

About an hour later, after the sun had completely risen and was already beating down onto the still quiet lake, David and Archie returned to the cabin. They’d had a good run and decided to walk the last half-mile back in order to enjoy the peaceful beauty of their surroundings. As they walked into camp, David first noticed that everyone was already up and moving about. Then he noticed that there was an additional vehicle in the driveway. “Oh, Chris is already here,” he told Archie who looked up to see Neal, Andy, and Andrew on the porch talking with a man that he hadn’t seen before.

“There they come,” Archie heard Andrew say as they walked up the graveled path, his heart sinking just a little more with each step.

“Chris!” David welcomed in a friendly tone when they were finally within hearing distance. “What time did you leave this morning? I wasn’t expecting you until at least noon.”

Christian shrugged, bumping fists with David as he joined them on the steps. “I was up early so I thought I’d just get a head start.”

“Awesome,” David said, glancing at Archie who was quietly standing next to the banister. “I’m assuming Drew introduced you all?” When Christian nodded, David reached for Archie’s arm, dragging him forward before letting go. “This is Archie. Archie, Chris.”

“Nice to meet you,” Archie said, extending his hand and trying to sound more interested than he really was.

“Yeah, man. You too.”

Archie smiled when Christian let go his hand; the guy seemed nice enough. He still felt awkward though. So after fidgeting a bit, he declared that he was a sweaty mess and needed to go clean up.

It was Andy who laughed after Archie had disappeared back into the house and told David that he stunk too and should probably take Archie’s lead. David nodded and excused himself for a few moments, promising to help with breakfast when he got back.

Quickly, he ran up to the bedroom to grab some clean clothes before going down the hall to the bathroom where Archie was already in the shower. He knocked on the door, knowing that Archie probably hadn’t locked it. “Hey, can I come in for a minute?” He asked as he poked his head inside the steam-clouded room.

Archie pulled the curtain back enough to see around it. “Uh…”

David laughed at the expression on Archie’s face while he began to peel out of the damp sleeveless tee and his shorts. “Don’t worry, I’m just going to wash up a bit and change clothes.” And that’s what he did, using soap and water from the sink. When he was done with everything except putting his shirt on, he walked over to the shower and peered around the curtain. “Babe?”

Having been lost in thought, Archie jumped slightly, startled by David’s voice suddenly so close. “Gosh! Cook!”

“Sorry,” David said with a chuckle. “We’re going to make breakfast, you want anything in particular?”

Archie shook his head, stepping away from the spray of water and closer to where David was standing outside the tub. “No, whatever is fine.” He then noticed that David was staring at him with a pout on his lips. “What?” He had to laugh when David said nothing, opting to pucker his lips instead. “Haha, Oh.” Leaning forward, he gave him what was supposed to be a short, simple kiss, but apparently, David had other plans. Archie whimpered, throwing his hand out to steady himself as David grabbed him and dove straight into a long passion-filled kiss.

“Oh my gosh,” Archie breathed heavily when he was finally let go.

David only winked and turned to leave the room, throwing on his shirt as he went out the door.

 

****

The rest of the day went surprisingly well. Archie found it was easier than he thought it would be for them to slip back into the roles of friends instead of lovers. After breakfast, they went out on the boat and did some fishing. It was during that time that Archie realized how close David was to his Army buddy. Aside from himself, the only other person that he’d ever saw David interact that way with was Neal, so that actually said a lot about the guy’s personality.

Later in the afternoon, they stayed around the cabin just hanging out while making lunch. Christian got along well with everyone and Archie decided that he liked him; despite the fact that it was because of him that he couldn’t spend time with David like he’d planned.

While Andrew and Archie were cutting up some fruit and vegetables for kabobs, Andy walked by them with an arm full of drinks. “Hey, give me one of those,” Andrew said, reaching for a bottle of Bud Light.

“Arch?” Andy started to ask. “No… I’ll get you water.”

“Thanks, Andy.” Archie laughed softly, looking up as Andy walked over to where David was manning the grill. Neal and Christian were sitting on the picnic table nearby; supervising. They all looked like they were having a good time. “Uh, Drew? Where did you put the kabob sticks?”

“Um,” Andrew drawled while looking around. “I put them…”

Archie shook his head when Andrew finally shrugged his shoulders and uttered, “damn if I know.” So he started looking around as well. “Did you leave them in the kitchen?”

“They’re right here,” David hollered, waving the pack of bamboo skewers in his hand. He’d heard the conversation about the missing kabob sticks and saw them laying with his grilling utensils.

“Oh,” Archie laid down the knife he was using and walked over to the grill to get them. Of course, David wasn’t going to let that be so easy. He pulled them back when Archie reached for them, and then he childishly held them in the air just out of Archie’s reach. After a few attempts, Archie grew frustrated especially since their spectators were finding it so funny. “Cook! Come on, stop!”

“What’s wrong? Can’t you reach them?”

With an annoyed groan, Archie jumped for them, unintentionally knocking them both off balance. The scene ended with David lying flat on his back and Archie on top of him. It could have been awkward, but Archie sat up quickly, smirking as he took the skewers from David’s lax hand. He then very politely said, “Thank you, sir,” and got up.

Their friends were all laughing when David sat up. “I can’t believe a civilian just thumped your ass,” Christian ribbed.

David snorted, watching Archie walk away. “I would hardly call that thumping.”


	6. Chapter Six

A Soldier’s Love

Chapter 6

 

There was a world of difference between college and high school. Archie found that out relatively quick. First of all, the pace at which his professors moved was double what he was used to. Secondly, the workload was kind of insane. He remembered receiving the syllabus for his first class and wanting to walk out right then and there. He didn’t, however. He stuck it out and found out that college wasn’t as bad as he had initially thought.

It wasn’t long before he met Madison, Danny, and Bryce. They all had a few classes together and hit it off rather nicely. Archie really liked them and it was nice to find new friends in the area. Brooke had moved to LA shortly after graduation to pursue her music career and other than a few acquaintances and Andrew, who was attending school in Lee Summit, he really had no one else to hang out with. Of course, between school and his job at a local hotel—he was a part-time desk clerk—he rarely had time for anything extra anyway. 

“Hey man, you up for a study session tonight?” Bryce asked one day as they walked out of one of their class. “We have that test coming up and I’m just not feeling confident about it.”

“Uh,” Archie furrowed his brow, mentally going over his schedule. “I have to work until seven, but maybe after that?”

“Cool! I’ll tell the others.”

Bryce had initiated their first study group about three weeks into the semester and it had been a wonderful tool for everyone involved so they did it as often as possible. Unfortunately, that was yet another thing that limited Archie’s free time; another thing that drove a bit of a wedge into his relationship with David. Of course, he didn’t notice that at the time. In fact, he didn’t start to realize anything was wrong until October.

*****

After the fifth time his call went straight to Archie’s voicemail, David groaned and tossed his phone to the side. He’d been trying to reach his boyfriend for the past two hours because he was bored, moody, and just wanted to talk to him. After all, it had been almost a week since they’d last spoken. They hadn’t even exchanged so much as a text message. 

He was about to reach for his laptop which he kept on the stand next to the bed that he was sitting on when there was a knock on the door followed by Christian’s voice announcing that he was about to enter. So David forewent his laptop and leaned back against the wall behind his bed. “Hey, Chris.”

“Sup?”

David shrugged. “Nothing.”

“You lead such an interesting life! Wanna go workout with me?”

“Sure,” David said as he got up to go change into something a little more suitable for working out. When he returned from the bathroom, Christian was sitting where he’d been earlier. 

“Archie called while you were in there,” he told David while tossing him the phone that he’d left on the bed. “No, I didn’t answer it,” he informed, recognizing the quizzical look on David’s face. “I saw the caller I.D.”

“Oh,” David said while shoving the phone into the pocket of his sweat pants before he reached to pull a towel from his dresser drawer.

****

They were just arriving at the gym when David’s phone began ringing again. He pulled it out and answered with a terse “hello,” as he and Christian walked up the steps to the large recreation center.

“Hey! Sorry I missed your call,” Archie’s voice flowed over the line. “We were studying and I had my phone on silent.”

By we, David knew Archie was talking about his new friends that seemed to take up all of his free time. Of course, David would never admit it, but he was jealous because Archie never had time to talk to him anymore. He severely missed the long phone conversations that they’d become accustomed to over the summer. “Yeah, I figured,” David said flatly, not bothering to mask his foul mood. “I actually can’t talk right now. Chris and I just got to the gym. I’ll call you back later.”

“Oh,” Archie said in a low, remorseful tone. “Ok. Love you.”

“Yeah. You too. Bye.”

Christian lifted a brow and considered David’s expression. Something was definitely amiss. “You know, Dave, if something is up, you can call him back. I can manage without you for a while.”

Stubbornly, David shook his head. “No. It’s nothing important. He was just returning my call from earlier.”

Even though he wasn’t completely convinced, Christian didn’t push him any further. He figured David would get his obvious frustration out during their work out. He wasn’t wrong. As fit as he was himself, he found it a struggle to keep up at times. “Dude!” He finally gave up trying as he bent over panting, attempting to catch his breath during an aggressive game of racket ball. “Are you trying to kill me?”

David smirked. “What? I can’t help it if you can’t keep up.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Christian said while leaving the court to take a seat on the floor, gulping down some water.

With a chuckle, David joined him, dropping his racket onto the floor as he bent to get his towel and water bottle.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” David replied, plopping down next to him. Had he known what Christian was about to ask, he probably wouldn’t have put his water bottle up to his lips. After a moment of sputtering and trying not to cough up one of his lungs, David was finally able to look up at his friend with watery eyes. “What the hell?”

“It’s just a question.”

“One straight out of fucking left-field,” David replied with wide eyes.

Christian smirked. “Do you know that you have a tendency to swear a lot more when you’re riled up or nervous?”

David ignored him in favor of wiping up the water that he’d spewed all over the gym floor in front of him.

“So, are you going to answer me?”

“Why would you even think that?”

“Because I’ve seen the way you are around him. I’ve noticed how you’re always in a better mood after talking to him—with the exception of tonight—and when you mention him, you glow like a little school girl.”

“You have lost your fucking mind.”

“Have I?”

David nodded, still refusing to look at Christian. His heart pounded in his chest and he truly hoped that Christian would drop the subject. Much to his dismay, Christian didn’t drop it. He didn’t say anything right away either. He simply stared at David as if he were trying to read his mind or something. It was unnerving. “Archie is one of my best friends,” David said with a sigh, unwilling to flat-out deny his true relationship with the younger man.

“I don’t doubt that, but there seems to be a little something more. I’ve seen you with Neal and Andy and I’ve seen you with Archie. It’s different.”

David’s cheeks felt hot and he knew they were flushed. It made him somewhat angry. There he was a soldier in the US Army and he was on the verge of crying in fear of being outed. It was entirely his fault though and he would have to face the consequences even if they scared the hell out of him. He shouldn’t have been so reckless and let Christian into his private life. 

They both remained silent for a few moments. David was mulling over a response while Christian waited. When David finally looked up, Christian was still watching him. “Are you going to turn me in?”

Christian’s brows furrowed and his mouth dropped open slightly. “Am I what?”

“Because I’m gay. Military policy and all.”

The expression on Christian’s face showed that he’d take offense to David’s question. “Do you really think that I would do that? Jesus, Dave! Of course, I’m not going to turn you in. You’re my friend and I really don’t give a fuck if you’re gay.”

“Really?”

Christian nodded his head affirmatively and slapped a hand on David’s shoulder. “Brothers, man.”

A small smile formed on David’s lips. “Thanks, Chris.”

“We should get back,” Christian said as he stood, grinning down at David. “So you can call him and work out whatever in the hell it is that’s got you in such a depressing mood.”

David snorted as he too stood up. He, for some reason, didn’t think a simple phone call would fix things. Especially since Archie was oblivious to the fact that there was something wrong.

*****

Two weeks later, David stood outside of the Archuleta’s front door waiting for someone to open it. When someone finally did, it was Lupe looking quite surprised to see him.

“David! What a surprise!”

“Hello, Lupe. Sorry to show up unannounced.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, honey. Is everything ok?”

“Yeah. Is Arch home?”

She shook her head, giving him a concerned look when she saw his face visibly fall. “No, I’m sorry. He isn’t home yet.” She then smiled warmly at her son’s boyfriend. “But he should be home soon. You’re welcome to come in and wait.”

A bright, appreciative smile formed on David’s face and he stepped into the house as Lupe moved to the side to give him room. “Thanks.”

Unfortunately, Lupe was wrong and Archie wasn’t home shortly. David stuck around for hours; even had dinner with Archie’s family—well Archie’s family minus Jeff who he hadn’t seen all evening. It was nearing eleven when he finally stood up and announced that he was leaving.

“Oh, David,” Lupe said regretfully. “I’m sure he’ll be home soon. It’s not like him to stay till midnight.”

David bit his lower lip to keep himself from making a snide remark about how it wasn’t like his boyfriend to not call or not answer his phone either. He was beginning to wonder what else had changed and if perhaps, he could no longer rely on what he knew about Archie. “I’ve kept you up long enough. I really should be going.”

As David was stepping off the front porch, he looked up to see a car slowing down and pulling into the drive. He was disappointed when a feeling of excitement didn’t wash over him when he realized it was Archie. Instead, there was a feeling of utter dread. All the anger, humiliation, and jealousy had combined to make him feel that way. He hated it.

“Cook? Oh my gosh! What are you doing here?” Archie asked as he quickly got out of the car. “Is something wrong?” 

David shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets; clearly unconcerned with putting Archie’s mind at ease and giving off the impression that he was upset and not up for hugs which is exactly what Archie would have moved to do had the situation not been so awkward. Awkward. When had they ever been like that? “I just stopped by to see you.”

“Why didn’t you call? I didn’t even know you were coming home this weekend! How long have you been here?”

“Since 6:30,” David explained. “I was hoping to surprise you.”

Regret immediately washed over Archie and he dug in his pocket for his phone that he’d turned off earlier in the evening. “Oh… I’m so sorry, Cook.” There were at least a dozen missed calls and a few voicemails that he hadn’t even thought to check.

“No big deal. We can hang out another time.”

“Are you going back to Riley tonight?” Archie asked hoping that David would say “no” because it was late and that was a long drive.

“Nah. I took a day tomorrow. I’m gonna help Mom with some things around the house. She wants the shed repainted and stuff.”

“Oh. Well um, maybe I could come by sometime? Help out perhaps?”

David shook his head as he proceeded over to his vehicle. “You don’t have to. I’m sure you have other things to do.”

Archie felt his eyes welling up with tears and he felt terrible because even though David wasn’t saying it, he knew that he was upset with him. He had every right to be too. It wasn’t like Archie had made that much of an effort to stay in touch lately. “Cook…”

“Goodnight, Archie.”

The younger man watched helplessly as David got into his Escape and pulled out of the drive. “Crap!” he groaned belatedly. 

“It was nice of you to call and let me know what you were doing tonight,” Lupe said from the doorway.

“I’m not a child, Mom,” Archie snapped, immediately regretting his decision to speak to his mother in that tone. 

“You’re still my child and I worry about you just as I always have. I expect a little more courtesy the next time you decide to stay out so late.”

“Sorry, Mama,” he said softly. “We had a study group and I honestly lost track of time.”

Lupe didn’t bother responding. She simply turned around and went back into the house leaving him standing alone at the foot of the steps. 

*****

Around noon the next day, David decided it was time to take a break. The shed was almost finished anyway. Beth had unexpectedly been called into work earlier so he’d called Andy for reinforcement and together they’d done it in no time at all. He tossed the paintbrush into the bucket and walked over to the old oak tree that he used to play in as child. As he sat down, leaning against the wide, solid trunk, he saw Andy walking over join him.

“Spill,” his friend told him as he handed him a bottle of water and sat down next to him. 

“What?”

“Something is up. You are unusually quiet today.”

“I guess I just don’t have a lot to say,” David responded with a grin.

“Bullshit,” Andy countered. “Where is Archie?”

“I don’t know. At home I would say…” He stopped before adding something rude and revealing.

“Are you guys fighting?”

“No.”

“You can talk to me, Dave. Whatever it is.” 

David didn’t respond immediately. He was debating whether he should involve his friend in something that was probably just his own paranoia. “I’m afraid things are changing between us.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know. He’s like… well, when I call or whatever, he is always busy with his friends,” he explained to Andy who sat there listening intently to everything that he told him. “And last night it was the same thing. He was out until almost eleven so we didn’t even have a chance to hang out.”

“Well,” Andy finally said once David was done. “In Archie’s defense, you didn’t tell him you were coming home this weekend.”

David shrugged. That was true. He hadn’t told Archie about his plans. He hadn’t told him because he had wanted to see the look on Archie’s face after seeing him there. He wanted to know what kind of surprise it would be. Would it be the one he was used to; the one he’d come to expect? Or would it have been something different; something that would tell him that he was right? That’s what he feared, but still needed to know. “It’s not just that, Andy. I almost feel like he doesn’t have time for me anymore. He’s moving on, growing up and… what if his new life doesn’t include me?”

Andy was shaking his head and trying not to laugh at David’s insecurities by the time David was finished talking. “Dave, Archie has a lot on his plate right now. Between work, school, and his family I’m surprised he has time to sleep. You have to have a little more faith in him.”

“But…”

“No, man, listen. When you were going through training, Archie was in the same boat as you. He was constantly on edge not hearing from you—not knowing if you were thinking about him or even if you still wanted him—but he sucked it up. Now it’s your turn. He loves you and I’m sure his lack of communication isn’t him choosing to ignore you.”

David hadn’t even thought of it like that. Archie had stuck with him during that time and they didn’t get to talk as much then as they did now. “So basically I’m just being a selfish, jealous jerk?”

“Precisely!” Andy told him with a fond laugh.

David grinned, feeling a little bit relieved after his talk with Andy. “I love that I can always count on you to tell me the truth.”

“Well, that’s what friends are for.”

About an hour later as they were finishing up with the shed, David looked up to see Archie’s car pulling into the driveway. He laid his brush down when Archie started walking towards them.

“Hey, Archie!” Andy greeted before giving David a pointed look.

“Hi, Andy,” Archie replied as he got closer to them. “Cook?”

David picked up a towel to wipe his hands while saying “hello” to Archie. He still felt awkward but he was a bit more determined to do something about it than he had been the night before.

“Can we talk?” Archie asked before David had a chance to say anything more. 

Glancing at Andy for a second, David nodded. “Uh, yeah. Let’s go inside.” He thanked Andy for offering to clean up before he left and then followed Archie into his Mom’s house. Once they were inside, Archie turned to face him and the look he gave him made David’s heart leap in his chest. He looked so tired and so… sad. “Archie…”

“I tried calling you.” Actually, he’d tried calling him several times. He was up most of the night trying to call him and thinking about how to possibly fix something that he hadn’t even realized was broken until he saw the look on David’s face as he left the night before. That’s when he finally opened his eyes and saw what had been happening over the last couple of months.

“Yeah,” David acknowledged, looking down at the floor because now he felt bad about how he’d treated Archie. It wasn’t fair. “I uh, turned my phone off.”

“I’m really sorry about last night, Cook,” Archie began. “And… And not just for last night. For every other time that I haven’t…” he sighed. “That I haven’t had time for you lately.”

“No, I’m sorry for being an ass about it,” David finally said. “I’m just… I don’t even know, Arch. I just feel so disconnected from you right now.”

“Don’t apologize. You have every right to feel that way. I’ve been so preoccupied with everything else—school, work, family—that I’ve lost track of what’s most important to me.” He glanced up at David, feeling probably the most vulnerable that he’s ever felt. “I’m sorry if I made you feel insignificant. I didn’t mean to. You are so very important to me, Cook. You have to know that.”

Without further hesitation, David moved to wrap his arms around the younger man. He couldn’t stay mad at him. It just wasn’t possible. And hell, he was no longer sure what he had been upset about to begin with—well that wasn’t entirely true, but he wasn’t going to tell Archie that he’d been turning green with jealousy. 

Archie exhaled slowly as he melted into David’s embrace, closing his eyes and pressing his face into David’s chest. He felt so relieved at that moment—and so good! He hadn’t realized how much he needed that physical contact from his boyfriend. “I love you,” he murmured, adding a silent “thank you” to the higher powers when David returned the sentiment. When he finally stepped back, he looked up at David through misty eyes. “We should designate at least one night a week to just us,” he suggested.

David smiled approvingly. “I like that idea.”

“So how long are you here for?”

“Well, I was going to leave this afternoon, but I think I’ll stick around the rest of the day. That is unless you have other plans.”

Archie shook his head quickly. “No! The only plan I had for today was to sleep.”

David’s lips curled into a small smile while he cupped Archie’s cheek in his hand. “You do look exhausted.”

“I haven’t been getting a lot of rest,” Archie admitted. 

That much was obvious. David wanted to ask why, but knew Archie would eventually tell him if it was something major. “Well, I have an idea,” he offered, motioning towards the sofa. “Let’s take a nap.”

Archie gave him an incredulous look wondering how David expected them to hang out if they were sleeping. “But…” 

“Come on, babe.” David had already sat down on the sofa and was taking his shoes off. “Just a short one.”

Archie watched as David lay down and made himself comfortable on the couch, looking up at him; waiting. Although he really wanted to spend some time catching up, he was also really tired and David lying there on his back with his arms outstretched did look awfully inviting. Finally, he decided to just go with it. He kicked of his own shoes and moved to join David who smiled and shifted a bit so that Archie slipped comfortably between him and the back of the sofa.

“I missed you,” David whispered once they settled down.

A small smile formed on Archie’s lips as David nuzzled against his palm that rested on his cheek. “I missed you too.”

The kiss they shared next was chaste, but it lasted for several long moments. Neither one of them wanted to rush it—after all, it was the first in months. Archie was the first to pull away, sighing as he laid his head on David’s shoulder; no longer sleepy, but content. “I wish you were here every day.”

Soft laughter escaped David’s lips and small crinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes. Those had always caught Archie’s attention. David was beautiful when he smiled. “Why?”

“Because you make my life better.”

That statement made David’s heart skip a beat and he looked at Archie in question, hoping he would elaborate. 

“In the past ten minutes I’ve felt so much better than I have in weeks. It’s because of you.”

The two of them lay there quietly for a while as David raked his fingers through Archie’s hair and Archie played absently with the button on David’s shirt. David wasn’t sure what to say in response anyway so the silence was perfect.

“Dad left,” Archie’s voice was low as he spoke a few moments later. 

“Huh?”

“Well, Mom threw him out actually.”

David had been aware for a while that things weren’t all that great between Archie’s folks but he’d honestly thought they’d work it out. “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that,” he sympathized wondering if that had been a large part of Archie’s problem.

Archie shrugged. “It was bound to happen eventually. It’s just so different without him there, ya know?”

Of course, David knew. He knew exactly what a big change it was to have a parent suddenly move out. “How are your brother and sisters taking it? I didn’t notice much difference last night.”

“They’ve been pretty indifferent about it. Mom tries to keep the younger ones busy.”

“What about you?”

“I’m ok. I know it’s for the best,” Archie replied before chewing thoughtfully on his lower lip. “Cook?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Do you remember how we talked about uh… getting a place in Topeka?”

“Yeah…” David replied, drawing the word out in anticipation.

“Do you still think about it?” 

A wide, probably cheesy grin spread over David’s lips. “Every day.”

Archie then shifted so that he could fully look at his boyfriend’s face. “Me too.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I want to. Soon.”

Surprised laughter filled the room and David’s eyes were wide and bright. “Yeah?”

Archie nodded enthusiastically as he sat up, straddling David’s hips. Of course, he still had a few reservations about them living together while David was a member of the Armed Forces, but the point was he would to be able to have David with him. He would be able to see him every single day and kiss him whenever he wanted and most importantly, there would be no more questioning whether or not they still wanted each other. It would be perfect.

“Well alright then,” David said with a satisfied smirk as he pulled Archie down on top of him causing the younger man to squeal and giggle as their lips met in an eager kiss. 

*****

A few hours later when Beth came home, she found them asleep on the couch. She smiled, shaking her head as she walked on into the kitchen to put the pizza that she’d brought on the counter. Before she went back to the living room to wake them up, she set the table for the three of them knowing without a doubt that Archie would be staying. She wasn’t at all surprised to see Archie’s car in the driveway when she got home. She would have been worried had it not been. When her son arrived home late the night before, she had sensed that something was wrong, but he wouldn’t talk about it. It was apparent that it had something to do with Archie, but she wasn’t going to push the issue. She figured they would work it out on their own. Obviously, they had. 

“David,” she spoke firmly, knowing that a gentle tone had never had an effect when it came to waking her son. “Dave, wake up. Dinner is here.” David didn’t stir, but Archie did. In fact, he was somewhat startled and jumped quite a bit when Beth’s voice rose. She chuckled lightly. “Hello, Archie. Nice nap?”

His eyes grew wide, resembling saucers when he realized that he was still very much on top of David. “Um, yeah,” he said, despite his blush. It wasn’t like Beth hadn’t caught them like this before. He didn’t know why it always bothered him so much.

When David finally woke up, he groaned in agony as he tried to crack his stiff neck. “Damn this couch is uncomfortable.”

“Probably didn’t help that you had a nineteen-year old lying on top of you,” Beth remarked giving Archie one of her own smirks.

While Archie’s cheeks turned a bit redder, David laughed heartily. “He’s not nineteen yet.”

“Come on. I brought pizza,” Beth told them before leaving.

A few minutes later, Archie and David joined Beth at the kitchen table for dinner. David pulled out a chair across from his mom and grinned. “We need to talk to you.”

Archie remained quiet, nibbling a bit on a slice of pepperoni pizza while David explained everything that they’d discussed to his mom. He knew his other half would do a better job at explaining it anyway.

“That’s a big step,” Beth said in a gentle tone, speaking to both boys. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“I love him, Mom,” David explained. “We’ve been apart so much for these last few years, all I can think about is waking up every morning knowing that he’s right there.”

Archie felt a blush creeping back into his cheeks as David talked to his mom about their relationship. It was a little bit awkward for him, but Beth had always been so supportive towards them, he couldn’t imagine discussing it with anyone else; even his own mother. 

“I understand that,” Beth continued. “I just want you to be sure it’s what you want. Learning to live with someone is not an easy task by any means.”

“We’re willing to work really hard at this, Beth. We’ve stuck together through all of this,” Archie finally entered the conversation, gesturing in the air with his hands. “How hard could living in the same house be?”

David smiled at Archie before turning his attention back to his mom. “We’d like your blessing on this,” he told her. “And maybe a little bit of help too?”

A kind and loving smile formed on her lips. She looked at David first. “David, you’re my son and you know that you will always have my support and my blessings.” Archie swallowed the lump forming in his throat as David’s mother turned her attention to him. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Tears of happiness, he hoped. “And Archie, you’ve been a part of my family ever since the day you and David became friends. You’re just like a son to me. I love both of you and all I want is for you to be happy.”

“Does this mean you’ll help us?” David asked, grinning broadly.

She rolled her eyes at him. “Of course.” She leaned back into the chair she was sitting in. “I do have one small inquiry though.”

Both David and Archie gave her their complete attention as they waited for her question.

“What are you planning to do about the Army’s policy on openly gay servicemen?”

David looked down, sighing while Archie turned his gaze upon him. “I…”

“We’ll still keep it under the radar for now,” Archie answered for him. “It’s not like we’ll be living near the base and I don’t need to have public displays of affection or fancy dinner dates. All the important people in our lives know about us and we trust them. If anyone else asks, we’re just roommates.”

David reached over and laced his fingers with Archie’s. “Maybe someday that law will be changed.”

Archie smiled, nodding his head hopefully. 


	7. Chapter Seven

A Soldier’s Love

Chapter 7

After several long discussions about exactly what they were looking for, Archie and David decided to go with Beth’s suggestion of renting. It was the most logical thing considering David’s career in the military. There was no guarantee that he would always be stationed at Fort Riley or even in Kansas.

Since David had gone back to Fort Riley, Archie and Beth searched for a house or a nice apartment, making several trips to Topeka to look at some possible places. Archie had taken to sending pictures to David via his phone, followed later by detailed e-mails. Most images were sent with question marks accompanying as a text message until finally, after a few weeks, he sent one that read “!!! :) !!!” below the picture.

David chuckled a bit when he received it. Sensing Archie’s enthusiasm, he sent a text back, “You like this one or something?” He didn’t have to wait long for a reply and when he read, “Oh my heck! Yes! It’s perfect! You have to see it!” he laughed aloud.

“What are you laughing at?” Christian asked from the opposite side of the office.

“I think they found a house,” David replied without looking up from his phone while he sent another message out.

“Oh yeah?” Christian rolled his chair over to David’s workstation and peered down at the phone. “Lemme see.”

“I might be heading over to Topeka this weekend and check it out,” David explained while handing over his phone.

“You’re really going to do this?” Christian lowered his voice so that he wasn’t overheard.

David nodded. “It’s what we both want.”

Christian smiled. “Then best of luck man. You have more balls than me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” David asked with an arch of his eyebrow.

“Moving in together. That takes real commitment.”

A fond smile appeared on David’s lips and he considered Christian’s words. “Yeah, well…”

“Have you told him about the rumors going on around here?”

“No,” David answered quickly. “And I’m not going to.” The last thing he wanted to do was worry his boyfriend with something that hadn’t been officially announced.

The rumor had started a few weeks before. Supposedly, his unit was going to be deployed, but they hadn’t been given official word as to where or when. He didn’t see the point in telling anyone until he knew for sure what was going to happen. He didn’t like the idea of relying on break room chatter.

“I haven’t told my girlfriend yet either,” Christian said with a heavy sigh. “She’s going to freak out.”

“Exactly why I haven’t said anything,” David admitted.

*****

The following Saturday, David watched Archie flail about in the living room of the house they were looking at, chattering over how nice everything was. He smiled and leaned in to whisper in his mom’s ear. “What do you think?”

Beth nodded her head approvingly. “I think it’s a good deal. Probably the best we’ve had so far.” She then turned to the property owner and suggested that they walk outside to give David and Archie time to talk. “You can come get us when you’re done.”

Gail, the woman who was renting out the house, agreed and walked outside with Beth to give them some privacy. Archie immediately turned to David with a huge smile. “So?”

“It’s awesome,” David replied. “I can tell that you really like it.”

Nodding enthusiastically, Archie agreed. “I do! But do you?”

“Yeah, it’s kinda perfect, actually. There’s even a nice deck on the back of the house. We’ll have to buy a grill.” The truth of the matter was David had liked most of the places that they’d looked at already—even if he had only saw the majority of them through pictures. He would be completely happy living in any of them just as long as he had his boyfriend with him.

Archie’s nodded, grinning broadly. “Oh my gosh! I know! We could have our families and friends over for cookouts. You’d have to grill though because I have a tendency to burn things on grills.”

David chuckled. “Yeah,” he agreed, knowing exactly what Archie was talking about. They’d had a cookout on the Fourth of July the summer before he joined the Army, and had made the mistake of letting Archie man the grill. That wasn’t a risk he’d be taking again. “Nobody burns a burger quite like you, baby.” When Archie joined him in laughter at the memory, David reached out and pulled him close. “So this is it, huh?”

Slipping his arms around David’s waist, Archie looked up at him, still smiling. “I think so.”

“Ok,” David said before placing a gentle kiss against Archie’s forehead. “We should go tell Gail. So we can get the paperwork started.”

Archie leaned in, pressing his face against David’s broad chest and grinning. “I’m so excited about this, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m excited too.”

*****

Once David had everything squared away with his superiors, they began the moving process. Archie spent several nights at Beth’s house helping her pack up David’s things since he couldn’t travel all the way to Blue Springs to help due to his current duties. Archie didn’t mind though. He realized that the faster they got everything packed, the faster they would be moving into their place.

In addition to moving and classes, Archie began searching for job opportunities in Topeka. He loved his job at the hotel, but he didn’t see the logic of traveling to Blue Springs on the days that he didn’t have class. He found a few part-time openings closer to their place and applied to them all with hopes that maybe one would call him for an interview.

It was nearing Thanksgiving by the time they were ready to move in. Between the two of them, they were able to get things unpacked whenever they had a bit of free time, however, they rarely did any of it together.

About a week before the date they’d set to be completely moved, they finally found a pocket of time in which they were both available. They went shopping for furniture. David had told Archie he could do it without his input, but Archie refused, insisting that both of them had to like whatever they bought. It turned out to be one of the most fun days they’d spent together in a long time. By the time they were finished, they’d managed to get great deals on a living room suit as well as a master bedroom suit. It was previously decided that those were the most important rooms and they had to be furnished first.

Besides the master bedroom, the house they were renting had two small guest rooms and a second bathroom, and they’d already put their own furniture from home in them. It was almost as if they’d just moved their old bedrooms to a new location. Archie had joked that if David ever had any of his Army buddies over for a visit at least it would help eliminate any possible suspicion that they were sleeping together.

“Have you heard anything from any of the places where you applied?” David asked as he crawled into bed next to Archie on their first night in the house. They’d been so busy that day that he hadn’t taken the time to ask before then.

Archie curled into David’s embrace and sighed. “Nothing yet. Guess I’ll stick around the hotel until I do.”

“I’m sure you’ll hear something soon,” David said encouragingly.

Archie nodded, but remained quiet. He was thinking about how good it felt to be lying there with David in their new home. They were finally together for good and he had never been happier in his life. “I love this,” he whispered.

“Huh?”

“Being here with you,” Archie said. “It’s so nice knowing that you’re not a hundred miles away and that you’re right here with me.”

David smiled and pressed a light kiss to Archie’s forehead. “I know, baby. I am going to love spending time with you again.”

“Waking up in each other’s arms…” Archie sighed at the thought while enjoying the way David was absentmindedly running his fingers through his hair.

“Making breakfast together?”

Archie nodded his head, smiling as images of he and David doing domestic things popped into his head. He bit his lip as another thought entered his mind. It was something that he and David had never really discussed in all the years that they’d been a couple. “Cook?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“What are your thoughts on kids?”

David lifted his head from his pillow to stare at Archie, who was looking up at him with an almost shy expression on his face. “Kids?”

“Yeah. Ya know, I was just lying here thinking about you and me, living a domestic life and suddenly this image of you teaching our child to play catch popped into my mind. Then I realized that it’s something we’ve never talked about.”

“I’ve never really thought about it,” David replied honestly. “I mean… I love the idea of having children, but you know, with our…”

“It’s not unheard of…” Archie trailed off as David’s eyes met his.

“I know.” David reached over and placed his hand on Archie’s cheek, caressing gently. “Do you want kids, Arch?”

Archie shrugged. “I’ve never really thought about it either,” he explained. “Until just now.” He grinned broadly. “And I must say the thought of raising a child with you is pretty amazing.”

“Yeah?” David asked as his heart did some weird unusual thumping inside his chest.

“I think you would make a great dad.”

Choosing not to respond with something that sounded trite, David simply leaned forward and pressed his lips against Archie’s in a tender kiss. “I love you, baby,” he said before adding, “ and maybe someday—when we’re completely settled in and finished with our current obligations—we could maybe look into our options.”

“Really?” Archie asked, more than a little surprised by David’s suggestion.

Archie felt tears stinging his eyes and he bit his lower lip to stop it from trembling and smiled when David gave him a crooked grin and used the pad of his thumb to wipe a tear away from just under his eye. “God, I love you.” 

David pressed another kiss against his lips and returned the sentiment before he promptly began tickling Archie’s sides making him giggle softly.

“Oh my gosh! Cook! Stop!”

Of course David didn’t. He kept on—knowing how ticklish his boyfriend was—until the younger man was writhing around, trying to get away from his prodding fingers. Archie’s pleas for mercy didn’t deter David at all. It soon turned into a playful wrestling match that caused the neatly fitted sheet to slip off the mattress and the bedspread to end up on the floor. Eventually, David ended up pinning Archie to the bed beneath him.

Gasping for breath, Archie looked up at his boyfriend who was sitting astride his thighs, smiling down at him as he held his wrist to the mattress above his head. “Cook…” he said breathlessly. “This is so not fair.”

“Oh?”

Archie nodded, pouting at David. “You’re so much stronger than me.”

David raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Aww, but you, baby… You can conquer me with just a smile.”

“Oh yeah?” Archie asked as a smile began to spread across his lips. “That’s good to know.” He watched as the smirk on David’s face was replaced with a serious, more affectionate look and he began to lean forward.

“See?” David asked just as his lips brushed over Archie’s.

Archie whimpered softly at the gentleness of David’s kiss and soon felt his hands being released from David’s firm grip. His whole body tingled with excitement as he wrapped his arms around David’s neck, opening his mouth slowly against his boyfriend’s. He sighed contentedly when he felt David’s velvety tongue sliding against his own.

They hadn’t had much private time—or any time for that matter—since David finished training. Aside from the night of Archie’s high school graduation and a few other hurried occasions—two of which were in the back of David’s car and hardly idealistic—they hadn’t been given a chance to make love like they had the first time. But now? Now that they were alone in the privacy of their own home, they could certainly take things a step or two further than some heavy making out.

Archie’s body arched against David and his head tilted back as his lover’s mouth trailed kisses over his jaw heading towards his neck. “Mm, baby, I want this so much.”

“Me too,” David’s gravelly voice replied just before his mouth latched on to the tender skin of Archie’s throat.

 

*****

Christian’s laughter echoed against the walls of his room where he and David were. David had followed him there before leaving for the day in order to talk with some privacy. “Dude! They’re what?”

David grinned as he bounced a tennis ball against the wall across from where he stood. “Shut up, man. Do you want to come or not?”

“Oh absolutely. I wouldn’t miss your housewarming party for anything.”

“You’re such an ass.” David had known that Christian would tease him about this as he often did about things he found to be a little less than masculine—which was pretty much anything that didn’t have to do with heavy machinery, guns, or playboy. Of course, David knew it was all in fun and Christian meant nothing by it. It was just in his nature to tease. “It’s not that big of a deal. I’m sure you’ll have one whenever you and your girl get a place.”

“God, I know,” Christian said with a grimace. “It just seems so girly though!”

David snickered. “Maybe. However, we need stuff, so why not go along with it?”

Christian shrugged, he couldn’t argue with that. “When is it?”

“December fourth at five o’clock.” David glanced at his watch. “I have to go. Arch and I are going to have our mothers over for dinner tonight.”

“Ok, man. Have a good evening.”

“Yeah. You too. Stay out of trouble.”

Christian caught the tennis ball that David threw to him. “Me? Trouble? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

David chuckled, shaking his head as he walked down the corridor that lead out of the building. It was nice to have someone at the post he could call a friend—a real friend.

 

*****

When the day of the housewarming finally arrived, David and Archie’s families and closest friends filled their new place, each bringing gifts and well wishes. The party was in full swing when the doorbell rang and Archie gave David a confused look before leaving the room to open the front door. He was pretty sure everyone that they’d invited was already there.

The smile that was on his face as he opened the door slowly dissipated when he saw who was standing on the other side. “Oh… um… Christian?”

Christian smiled brightly at Archie and thrust a messily wrapped package into his hands. “Happy… uh, housewarming?”

“Chris!” David greeted, walking up behind Archie who stood dumbfounded in the doorway, staring at Christian with unease. “About time you got here. You almost missed all the food.”

“I got held up, but I’m here now.” He glanced at Archie and then back at David with a pointed look.

“Oh! Arch,” David slung his arm around Archie’s shoulders, pulling him close. “Chris is cool. He knows about us.”

“He…does?” Archie asked, still slightly confused.

“I do,” Christian replied. “Congrats on the house. I am truly happy for you guys.”

A smile finally began to find its way across Archie’s lips and he whispered, “Thanks.”

After that, David told Christian to come in and then guided him and Archie into the living room where everyone had gathered. There he introduced him to a few people that he hadn’t met yet—mostly Archie’s family—before he took him on a quick tour of their new home.

When they returned to the living room a little while later, Archie offered Christian some food and a drink and finally thanked him for coming and for the gift. Then he lowered his voice. “And uh, thanks for, you know, keeping quiet about Cook.”

Christian grinned and shrugged his shoulders. “Not a problem. He’s a good guy.”

Archie nodded, looking around at everyone else socializing, or in Beth and Lupe’s case, organizing. David was nowhere in sight at the moment so he figured he should take the opportunity to get to know Christian a little better. When they’d been camping months earlier, Archie hadn’t hung around with him too much because he was afraid he might let something slip or contribute to the idea that he and David were more than friends. “I’m glad he’s had someone like you as a friend through all of this. It’s not easy keeping part of yourself hidden from the people you’re close to.”

“I know, and I think it sucks that you have to.”

Archie gave Christian an appreciative smile and invited him to sit down. “So Cook tells me that you’re from…Kentucky?”

“Tennessee, actually. I completed my basic in Kentucky though.”

“It must be difficult being so far away from home,” Archie said, trying to keep up a conversation.

“Yeah. I miss my girlfriend the most though. My mom died when I was six and me and the old man were never really close.”

“Oh,” Archie said with sympathy. “I’m sorry. Were you an only child?”

Christian nodded while taking a bite of a pastry. “Wow. What is this?”

“Just a cream puff. My mom made them.”

“Lupe makes the best cream puffs,” David said, plopping down next to Archie and slapping a hand over his knee. “What’s up?”

“We were just talking,” Archie replied. “Where did you go?”

A cheesy, mischievous grin spread out over David’s face and he wiggled his eyebrows at David. “I was out in the garage with Neal and Andy. I have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” Archie asked almost dreading the idea. He wasn’t one to enjoy surprises.

“Mm hmm,” David winked at Christian who was smiling knowingly as he continued to sample the different pastries on his plate. “Come on. I’ll show you.”

After David’s announcement, Archie stood up along with David and Christian and followed everyone to the garage. “Close your eyes,” David told him as he took his hands in his to guide him out the door and down the two steps that lead into the garage. Once he was standing where David wanted him to be, David let go of his hands and told him to look.

Cautiously, Archie opened his eyes to find himself standing in the middle of the garage. The entire right side of the garage cleaned out and in the center of the now bare space set a shiny, black, baby grand piano. “Oh my gosh! Cook!”

“Do you like it?”

Archie walked over to it and touched it with the tips of his fingers, running them along the glossy finish before moving to press down on a single key. “I… I love it, but how… how did you afford this?” With their situation, Archie knew that they’d have to be careful with spending in order to save, so a new piano, let alone a baby grand, was impossible.

David grinned. “Our parents chipped in a little bit. I know how much you hated leaving the one at your Mom’s behind, so I thought you should have your own. I was also hoping that maybe in return for teaching you how to play guitar, you could teach me how to play the piano.”

Archie smiled brightly, looking up at his boyfriend who was also beaming. “I think that could be arranged.” He then walked over to him and threw his arms around his neck. “Thank you,” he said as he planted a chaste kiss on David’s lips before going on to thank anyone else who had part in the surprise.

Everyone stayed in the garage the rest of the evening. David and Neal sat next to the piano on barstools brought from the kitchen, strumming their guitars, while Archie and Andy took turns singing and playing the piano.

Eventually their guests began to trickle out, one by one—each having an hour or so of travel ahead of them—until Archie and David were left alone in their new place once more. David took a seat next to Archie on the piano bench and began tapping keys with one finger. “I think the party was a success. Don’t you?” Archie nodded his head and leaned against David’s shoulder. “Tired?”

“Yeah. I get even more tired when I think about the mess in the living room that needs to be cleaned up.”

“Let it go. We’ll get to it tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Archie agreed.

“Come on,” David said with a chuckle as he closed the lid on the piano. “I think it’s time for bed.”

Archie didn’t protest and stood up, waiting for David to take the lead.


	8. Chapter Eight

A Soldier’s Love

Chapter 8

The news left David feeling nauseated as he left the post one Friday evening. His captain had finally dropped the bomb that everyone had been waiting on for weeks. It wasn’t so much that he was scared of being deployed to the Middle East, he wasn’t—well, actually he was. He was terrified, but it was more about how he was going to break the news to his family and most of all how he was going to tell Archie. He knew that was something the younger man had feared since day one.

As he was walking toward the parking lot, he looked around at his fellow soldiers. Some were obviously sharing his feelings while others were rejoicing over the fact that they were finally going to get to see some action. He then looked to a group of veterans who were standing in a huddle, no doubt chatting about what they’d just been told. He wondered how they did it; how they could be deployed time after time and still remain so calm. Perhaps it got easier with time and experience.

When he reached the parking lot, he pulled his keys from his pocket and hit the unlock button on the key ring as he walked toward his vehicle. His thoughts kept going back to that day in his bedroom when he’d told Archie that he was enlisting. They’d had what he had since considered their first fight. Archie had called him selfish for asking him to stand by him through his military career and then later admitted that it was just that he was scared of losing him. Now for the first time, David felt an inkling of fear that he could very well lose Archie. And that scared him more than going to war.

He sighed, sliding into the driver’s seat of his Escape. What if it all became too much for Archie to handle? Would he walk away? David pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind as he turned the key in the ignition. He couldn’t think like that. He had to have faith in their relationship—faith in Archie.

He spent the entire drive from Fort Riley to Topeka thinking of ways he could possibly tell Archie the news. The more he thought about it, the more he wished he had mentioned the rumors; at least to give him a bit of a heads up.

*****

Archie had a late class that evening so he wasn’t surprised that David had beat him home. What surprised him was the fact that his boyfriend was slaving away in the kitchen, making dinner—and it wasn’t just a box dinner. It was homemade chicken parmesan with a side of rice and vegetables.

Archie dropped his bag onto one of the barstools and leaned against the island. “Wow. What’s the occasion?” Archie asked, wondering if he might have missed an anniversary or something.

David shrugged before giving Archie a quick smooch when he walked over to join him at the stove. “Just felt like making us dinner. I hope you’re hungry.”

“I’m starving,” Archie assured him as he reached for the cabinet door in order to get plates. “I’ll set the table.”

“Already did,” David said, and for the first time since walking into the house, Archie looked into the dining room. The table was set just as David had said, complete with a nice white lace tablecloth and two long candlesticks placed in glass holders in the center of the table.

“Someone is feeling romantic tonight,” Archie pointed out while flashing David a brilliant smile.

“Go get cleaned up,” David told him. “It’s almost ready.”

While Archie took a quick shower and changed into some clean, more comfortable clothes, David finished dinner. He was just lighting the second candle when Archie returned.

“Ok, seriously, what has gotten into you?” Archie asked as David pulled his chair out for him.

“Can’t I do something nice for you without having a reason?” Before Archie could respond, David reached for him and then pulled in him close. He then proceeded to give him a long, slow kiss. After that, Archie saw no more need for questions and plopped down onto his chair, which made David grin triumphantly before taking his own seat across from Archie.

Throughout dinner they talked about school and work and their friends and family; each listening intently to the other’s story. It was something they’d grown accustomed to doing after moving in together. Both of them looked forward to learning what the other was up to. 

Later while they were cleaning up, David sighed, knowing that he’d put it off long enough. “Arch,” he said once the last dish was placed in the dishwater. “I need to tell you something.”

Archie stood up straight, closing the door on the dishwasher. As he did so, he noticed the far away, nervous look on his lover’s face. It made his heart leap into his throat because he knew that whatever David wanted to tell him wasn’t good.

With a solemn look on his face, David motioned towards the living room. “Let’s talk in there. Go on, I’ll get us a drink and join you in a minute.”

Archie complied despite the urge to argue and demand answers. Finding the remote laying on the couch, he picked it up and put it on the end table before curling up in the corner to wait for David as a sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. If David was about to give him bad news, the least he could have done was not let him eat dinner first.

A few minutes later, David finally joined him, handing over a glass of iced tea as he sat down on the other side of the couch. Archie eyed him suspiciously as he pulled his legs up under him and kept his eyes cast down. “Cook? What’s going on?”

“Captain called us in for a briefing this afternoon,” he explained.

That was all it took to make Archie’s heart rate speed up. Tears began prickling behind his eyes because he somehow knew what David was going to say next. It was the one thing he’d been afraid of since the beginning. He’d known it would happen eventually, but this just seemed too soon. “You’re being deployed, aren’t you?” He finally asked after several long moments of silence.

“We ship out in March.”

Archie took a deep breath and willed the tears not to fall as he set his glass of iced tea on the coffee table so David wouldn’t see how badly he was already shaking. “Where to?”

“Afghanistan,” David replied in a solemn voice.

After that, there was no point in Archie even trying to hide his fear. The tears that had threatened to fall began cascading over his cheeks, his stomach churned with dread and anger boiled up inside of him. He felt like screaming and suddenly wanted to yell at David for joining the military. He wanted to shout it out that he told him so, but he couldn’t.

David fidgeted nervously with the glass in his hands, waiting for Archie’s wrath. When the younger man didn’t say anything, David set the glass on the table and looked up. “Are you going to say anything?”

Archie shook his head, chewing timidly on his lower lip to keep it from trembling. “I…I…don’t know what to say. Saying I…That I don’t want you to go is useless because it doesn’t matter what I want or don’t want. That decision has never been mine to make.” Even though he hadn’t intended for it to happen, his voice had rose slightly by the time he finished speaking.

“Archie, I never…”

“Don’t,” Archie scolded. “Don’t say you never expected this to happen.”

David didn’t try to argue. It was obvious that Archie was not only upset, but angry as well. He supposed that was normal. “I’m sorry.”

Archie shook his head, feeling terrible for raising his voice, and moved from his end of the couch to where David was sitting. He climbed into his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just… I’m scared…”

David wrapped his arms around Archie who was, by then, shaking from the force of his sobs. “I know, baby, I know. Me too.”

*****

Later that night after Archie had calmed down from the news and somewhat accepted it, he and David watched a movie on TV and then went to bed early because both of them had to be up the next morning. However, falling asleep wasn’t easy for Archie and once he did, it was restless.

At around three in the morning, he awoke for what was probably the twentieth time that night. He groaned in annoyance when he looked at the digital alarm clock on his nightstand. It wasn’t a surprise that he couldn’t sleep. His mind was too busy reeling from David’s news to allow him to fully shut down. He rolled over, wanting to curl up to his boyfriend, hoping that would help him. That’s when he realized he was alone. He felt around for a bit just to make sure that David really wasn’t there before he sat up and turned on the lamp.

He scanned the room, stopping to peer into the dark bathroom before throwing the covers off of him and climbing out of bed. He slipped quietly out of the bedroom, heading for the living room. Just as he’d suspected, David was sitting on the armchair staring blankly at the muted TV while a black and white rerun of M*A*S*H flashed on the screen.

A floorboard squeaked as Archie walked into the room and David turned his head, startled by the sudden noise. “Hey, I didn’t wake you up, did I?” he asked even though he hadn’t been making a sound.

“No. I couldn’t sleep. What are you doing out here?” Archie asked as he stopped to stand next to the chair where David sat.

“I wasn’t sleeping either, so I thought I would come out here to just sit and think.”

Archie shifted a bit and took a seat on the cushioned arm of the chair, raking a hand through David’s short, brown hair. He understood how David was feeling—or at least he thought he did.

“Arch?” David spoke quietly after the few moments of silence that lingered between them.

“Hmm?”

“Promise me that you’ll still be here when I get back.”

Assuming he’ll get back… Archie squeezed his eyes shut trying to make that thought go away. He needed to think positively. When he opened them again, David was staring at him, his own tears about to fall. “Cook, where else would I be?”

“I don’t know,” David shook his head, gathering his thoughts. “All I’ve been able to think about today is that I could lose you over this.”

“Babe,” Archie said, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I could be gone for a long time, Archie. This isn’t going to be like training.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Archie asked.

“What if you get tired of waiting for me? What if you meet someone else?”

“Have you been watching Army Wives?” Archie asked with a hint of laugher, trying to lighten the mood a little bit. It did earn him a slight grin from his boyfriend. “I love you. All I want is for you to come home to me,” he explained on a more serious note. “I’m not going to leave you or fall in love with someone else…I might get a cat though.”

David chuckled. “Why not a dog?”

“Because with my schedule, I wouldn’t have the time for a dog. Cats are pretty low maintenance.” Archie then got up and took David by the hand. “Come back to bed with me?”

There was no hesitation as David stood up to follow Archie back to their bedroom. He felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders now that Archie had assured him that he wasn’t upset enough with him to leave.

This time when they fell asleep in each other’s arms, they didn’t wake up again until morning.

*****

Stepping off the plane onto foreign soil for the first time was both exciting and terrifying at the same time. It wasn’t exactly as David had envisioned it, but it wasn’t all that different either. Honestly, before the military, when he’d thought of Afghanistan, his mind immediately pictured miles and miles of desert. He knew now that it had been a naïve notion; however, considering the way the news depicted the place, who wouldn’t think that? There was a lot of sand, but there was plenty of vegetation as well and in the distance, he could see the snowcapped mountains of Hindu Kush. 

As he took a moment to look around, Christian exited the plane behind him. “Ready to kick some ass, soldier boy?” His friend asked while slinging an arm over his shoulders.

The question made him roll his eyes, not even remotely surprised with Christian. “Something tells me that I’m not as ready as you,” David countered with a laugh. Adjusting the M4 Carbine slung over his shoulder, he scoffed and continued, “Besides, we’re intel. Chances are we’ll be holed up and won’t see much action.”

“Don’t be such a buzz kill, Cook.”

From Bagram, they were taken to a forward operating base and briefed on current situations and upcoming missions. It wasn’t much different from what he’d been doing at Fort Riley, with the exception of what was going in the area surrounding the base.

After the first few weeks, David began to lose track of how long he had been there. Between researching, planning, reporting, and sleeping whenever he could, his days seemed to fade into one another. As far as the action went, he didn’t see much of it. He mostly just heard about it after troops returned from whatever mission they’d completed. However, there were those rare occasions when Patrol would request tag-a-longs.

One evening, when he had some free time, he wandered outside to where a few Humvees were parked. A particularly good thing about technology was GSM cell phones. They made being in the Middle East a tad easier to bare. Granted, he couldn’t call home as often as he would have liked, but once in a while was nice. It sure beat waiting for the mail—and yes, he and Archie utilized the postal service quite a bit.

He leaned back against one of the vehicles and waited for his call to be connected. “Hey, Babe!” He greeted with a smile when Archie’s cheerful voice answered on the other end. “I have a few minutes to talk. Call me right back.”

Calling the States via cell phone for any amount of time would result in an outrageous phone bills so he called them whenever he had time to talk and told them to call him back. It worked better that way. Well, except for the times when his free time coincided with one of Archie’s classes. On those occasions, he called his mom or Andrew.

While he was waiting for his call to be returned, Christian, who had gone outside a few minutes before, joined him. He shook his head when offered a smoke and smiled as his phone began ringing.

Christian grinned mischievously as he lit his cigarette, hearing David’s usual, “hey baby,” as he answered. He let them talk for a few minutes while he enjoyed the unusually cold night air. It was quite a change from the searing heat that they’d become used to.

However, he eventually snatched the phone from David. “Oh, baby, I’ve missed you so much!” he exclaimed before making kissy noises into the receiver.

David was laughing by the time he finally managed to wrestle the phone away from his annoying, yet totally awesome friend. “Yes, that was Chris,” he explained while shoving Christian away good-humoredly. “Go away, man!”

He didn’t, of course, but he did leave David alone. He jumped up on the hood of the Humvee and laid back to look at the sky while he finished his cigarette. “It’s so fuckin’ beautiful,” Christian said once David said goodbye and put his phone away.

David also looked up at the night sky. It looked like a blanket of diamonds, all sparkling and bright. Back home, he’d seen many spectacular skies, but in Afghanistan, amidst the barren plains, you could see for miles. It was incredible.

“Hard to believe that so much evil exists when you’re looking at that.”

“Dude…”

“Don’t tell anyone that I said that.”

“Awe, you are a softy…”

“Kiss it, Cook.”

David snorted at that remark and joined him on the hood.

“So how is your other half?” Christian asked as David settled back against the windshield.

“Good. Busy with classes.” David sighed, not really wanting to think about how much he missed his boyfriend. He had just gotten used to being with him again. “Talked to your girl lately?”

“We chatted a bit last night. She wants to find a place for us closer to Riley.”

“Oh really? I thought you didn’t have the nerve to shack up.”

“Yeah, well…” Christian laughed lightly. “I guess I changed my mind.”

“Well congrats, man. I think it’ll be great for you both.”

“Yeah. The only thing is, when she travels to Kansas, she doesn’t know anyone and I kind of worry about her.”

“Oh yeah, no doubt,” David agreed. Then a moment later, he added, “Hey, maybe we could work something out and Archie could help?”

“You think he would?”

David shrugged. “You know, Arch; he loves to help people. He also needs some friends in the area too.”

“Well, thanks! I appreciate the suggestion. I’ll mention it to Jackie the next time I talk to her.”

*****

Archie was a bit hesitant at first, but eventually agreed to meeting Jackie the next time she was in Kansas. That day ended up coming faster than he’d anticipated. He wasn’t sure what to expect out of Jackie and it left him feeling rather antsy. Sure, David had said she was nice and that he’d like her, but just because David said that didn’t make it so.

Actually, Archie later thought, David had been right. He did like her. She was quite a character though. He could certainly see why she and Christian worked so well together. From the first moment when they’d found each other, Jackie acted like she’d known him for years. Believe it or not, he was thankful for her bubbly personality. It made things so much easier on him. Plus, she offered up information—sometimes a little too much information—without him having to ask.

Archie set her up in one of the guest rooms, but she ended up sleeping on the couch that first night because they’d been up late talking and getting to know each other a bit more and she fell asleep.

The next day, they began hunting for an apartment between Topeka and Manhattan. They looked at several different places and Archie tried to help her in the same way that Beth had helped him, but Jackie just couldn’t make up her mind about what she was looking for specifically.

“Oh,” Jackie said, plopping down onto a sofa in one of the apartments that they were looking at. “This would be so much easier if Chris were here to give his opinion.”

Archie nodded understandingly. “You could e-mail him some pictures,” Archie suggested.

“I would, but it could be days before he even gets to check his e-mail.”

Of course, Archie knew this to be true. It sometimes took a week for David to respond to one of his e-mails. “Well, you have a pretty good idea of what he’ll like, don’t you?”

“Yeah. At least I hope I do.”

Archie smiled, “Come on. Let’s head on to the next one on today’s list. Then we’ll call it a day and go eat.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Jackie got up and followed Archie out of the room.

As it turned out, Jackie was just having a hard time with Christian being overseas. It was one thing when he was just a few states away, but it was another when he was halfway around the world. In addition to her having trouble with him being gone, she’d had no one to talk to about it; well, no one who understood how she felt anyway. Archie quickly became her confidant and she became his.

That night after a long, heartfelt discussion with Jackie, Archie sat down at the desk in the bedroom he shared with David and began writing in the journal that he’d started the day David left. He hadn’t missed a single entry and found it to be quite therapeutic.

5/14:

Today started out well. It’s Saturday, so I didn’t have any classes. I took Jackie around to look at some apartments early this morning. It was actually pretty fun. Ya know, when I was presented with this whole idea, I didn’t like the thought of playing chaperone to a woman I’d never met, but both men were convincing and I started feeling bad for wanting to say no. So, I gave in. I’m not sorry that I did though. Cook was right about her. She’s fun, and I have a feeling we’re going to be good friends.

Anyway, we looked at a few really nice, affordable apartments today. However, she hasn’t been able to make an affirmative decision yet. I understand her predicament. I was almost in the same situation when Cook and I were looking for a place. The only difference was, I could call or text him whenever I was unsure about something. She doesn’t have that privilege.

I never realized until tonight how good it feels to have someone to talk to. I mean, I’ve had Beth and Drew, but it’s not really the same. Jackie is really having a hard time coping with Chris being deployed. I know how she feels, but apparently, I hide it well. She asked me how I managed to be so strong and calm about it. The truth is, I’m not. There isn’t a moment that goes by that I’m not thinking of Cook, wondering what he’s doing and if he’s ok. I hate not knowing. It’s almost like I’m constantly holding my breath waiting for news that I don’t want to hear.

Yesterday, before I went to the airport to pick Jackie up, I was in the grocery store and a stupid love song came on over the PA. Immediately, I was reminded of Cook and a wave of emotion hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to slip behind a large display of cereal so no one would see me break down in the middle of the store. Pathetic? Maybe. I couldn’t help it though. I miss him. And more than anything, I’m worried about him.

Mom told me to have faith and pray for his safety. That’s her answer for everything. I appreciate the advice, but you know what? Having faith is really hard when almost every time you turn on the TV, they’re talking about the latest casualties of this war. I keep wondering if he’ll be next. I’m told that I shouldn’t think about that. How can I not?

He continued writing for the next half-hour. By the time he finished, he could barely the pages through bleary eyes. After closing the journal, he rubbed his hands tiredly over his face before getting up to go take a shower and get ready for bed.

Even though the gentle spray of hot water should have been soothing, he couldn’t stop the tears. They were still falling when he went to the closet to find his PJs. There, his eyes fell upon the worn flannel superman pants that David loved. Suddenly his own PJs were forgotten as he reached for the faded piece of clothing. He smiled through his tears, realizing that even after two years; they’re still a size or more too big for him. He didn’t care though. It was nothing a simple rolling of the waistband couldn’t fix After he had them on and fitting a bit better, he reached for one of David’s t-shirts and slipped it on as well. Then he padded over to the bed and sat down on the side where he usually slept.

Just like he’d done nearly every night for the past few months, he folded his hands in his lap and took his mother’s advice. When he was finished, he tucked himself before he reached for the picture he kept on the nightstand. Delicately, he ran his fingers over the glass that protected the photo. “I love you,” he whispered. “Please come home safe.”


	9. Chapter Nine

A Soldier’s Love  
Chapter 9

December marked a year since moving into the new place. That was something that Archie could hardly fathom. It didn’t seem like it had been that long. Of course, with the way time seemed to move in slow motion for him, he wouldn’t have noticed it anyway.  
The months had crept by and so much had happened. Jackie found apartment that was in a complex just down the road from the house Archie and David were renting, Archie finally found a new job as a waiter at the local Cracker Barrel, and Archie spent his first Christmas since his Jr. year of high school without David.

All the changes had taken a toll on his social life. He rarely ever went anywhere other than to class and work so the time he had to talk to his friends had been limited to the classes that they shared.  
So when Danny invited him to study group, he was a bit hesitant. He hadn’t been to a study group since moving to Kansas and he was afraid that it would be awkward. However, Danny assured him that their group missed him and all of them wanted him to come back.

“Archie!” Madison squealed when she opened the door to the apartment she shared with her friends. “It’s about time you decided to spend some time with us!”

Archie smiled and gave Madison a hug. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Come on in. We have some catching up to do.” Madison practically dragged him into the room and shoved him into a chair. “So what has been going on?”

Yep. Nothing had changed.

“Just school and work,” he told them, knowing that he wasn’t going to get off that easily.

He was right. They pretty much interrogated him. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. His friends knew almost everything about him. Well, everything except that his boyfriend was a soldier. That part he’d kept to himself.

The four of them spent most of the study session catching up. Finally, after about two hours, Bryce suggested that they at least attempt to study a little before Archie had to head back.

After that, Archie made it a point to start hanging out with his friends again whenever he could. Most of the time it was just for study sessions, but occasionally they would go to a movie or dinner together. Little by little, he became more like his old self.

His time with David was still limited to sporadic phone calls and letters. They could have used email, but neither of them preferred it. Archie liked getting hand-written letters from David; letters that David had touched, and sometimes smudged. He knew they would always hold sentimental value for him no matter what happened.

In the spring, Archie graduated with his Associates of Arts. His graduation ceremony was nice and his mom had a celebration dinner for him. She invited Beth and Andrew as well as his friends including Jackie.

Lupe prepared Archie’s favorite meal and it was great. The conversation around the table was equally as good. Andrew never failed to liven things up. Archie wasn’t surprised when he and Jackie hit it off so well. He’d somewhat expected it, especially considering Andrew and Christian had become almost instant friends the summer before. 

Once the dinner was over and people began to leave, Archie went in search of Beth who had asked to have a moment alone with him whenever he had time. He walked out onto the patio to find her sitting on the swing with Lupe. “Hey,” he said as he squeezed into the space between the two women.

Lupe slipped her arm around his shoulders. “I was just about to come find you.”

“Yeah, sorry I took so long. Danny, Madison, and Bryce just left. Everyone else is in the living room playing with the Wii.”

His mom smiled and moved to get up. “Can I get you something more to drink, Beth?”

“Oh, no. I’m good,” Beth replied showing Lupe her half-filled glace of lemonade.

“David would you like something?” Lupe asked. When Archie told her that he didn’t want anything, she nodded politely and patted his arm. “Ok then. I’ll leave you two to talk for a while.”

Archie watched his mom go back into the house and felt Beth shift a bit. “How are you, Beth?” He had asked her earlier, but she’d replied with a simple, “I’m fine.” This time she gave him a tight smile and said, “I’m as ok as I can be, considering. How about you?”

Archie nodded, understandingly. “I’m ok too.”

“I have something for you,” Beth said, reaching to pull a small gift-wrapped box from her purse that set on the wicker table next to the swing. “David asked me to give this to you if he wasn’t home for your big day.”

Suspiciously, Archie took the gift from her and pulled the small card from the top. It read:

Archie,  
Congratulations on your graduation! I’m so sorry that I couldn’t be there to celebrate with you. Just know that I love you, I’m thinking of you and I am so, so proud of you, baby!  
~Cook

Archie glanced up at Beth with bleary eyes as he put the card back into the envelope. She gave him an encouraging squeeze as he opened the gift. Inside was a custom made, silver wristwatch. Archie carefully extracted it from the box and held it in his hand, admiring the intricate design until Beth reached for it. She flipped it over; showing Archie an inscription on the back. “Oh, my gosh,” he whispered, running his thumb over the two sets of initials separated by a tiny heart.

“You like it?” Beth asked. 

“Yeah…” he blinked back sudden tears, but Beth somehow knew anyway. She pulled him into a fierce hug and shushed him as he let go. “I’m so worried about him,” he mumbled against her shoulder.

“I know, sweetheart,” she soothed. “I know.”

“He’s going to come home, right?”

“Of course,” Beth said, willing her voice not to crack. “I don’t think there is anything in this world that could keep him from you.”

*****

One evening in early July, Archie pulled into the driveway to see Jackie sitting on the top step of his stoop. He giggled to himself, thinking that maybe he should just give her a key. “Hey,” he said as he made his way up the walk.

“You seen the news today?” She asked, ignoring his greeting.

“Um,” Archie gauged her mood as he unlocked the front door. She seemed too perky to have bad news so he squashed down the feeling of unease that arose in his stomach when she mentioned news. “No. What’s up?”

Jackie got up and followed him inside. “A federal court has ruled that service members can't be discharged for violating DADT. The policy will be fully repealed, soon!”

There was a brief pause as Archie dropped his keys down on the end table next to the door, but then he went on to take the bag of groceries that he’d picked up on the way home into the kitchen. “It’s about time.” He swatted Jackie’s hands away when she attempted to help him put the groceries away. “I got it.”

“I thought you’d be happy,” she pouted. “This is good news, right?”

“I am happy!” Archie assured her. “It’s great news! I’ve wanted that to happen since… well since Cook decided to join the military. It’s been rough hiding our relationship.”

“Obviously you guys love each other because not just anyone could do that for… How long have you been together?”

“Four years in November,” Archie said. “And we do.” He gave her a pointed look as he continued. “Love each other.”

Jackie smiled. “Well hopefully you can shout it to the world in a couple of months!” She tilted her head, noticing the glum look on his face. “Why aren’t you overjoyed about this?”

“Because,” he began while walking over to the cupboard to put the cereal away. “It’s not like, well… I don’t know yet. I mean even with a repeal there are still risks.”

“Meaning?”

“We don’t live in this perfect world where everyone is going to be completely ok with learning that the men and women they’ve been working and living with are gay or lesbian.”

“Those people are arrogant,” Jackie responded quickly. 

“They are,” Archie agreed. “But calling them that doesn’t make being openly gay in the military seem any less dangerous to me. Especially right now while we still have so many people overseas.”

“Well it’s unfair for anyone to have to deny who they are.”

Archie knew she was right and he didn’t disagree. The truth was he’d always hated having to pretend that he was just a friend there to support David when he’d accompany Beth to events. He hated that he wasn’t able to express how proud he was of him right then and there. However, the fear of outing David was too great and he wouldn’t compromise everything that his boyfriend had worked so hard for. “And even with the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy out of the way, David might not want to be openly gay while he’s still in the service.”

“Why wouldn’t he want to be open about it?” Jackie asked with furrowed brows. “It should be liberating.”

Archie sighed as he balled up the now empty plastic bag. “I guess the bottom line is that I just don’t want David to get hurt.” He saw the confusion in Jackie’s eyes and decided to explain his trepidation a little more clearly. “Think about this, Jackie. There are plenty of homophobic people out there. What if Cook was to come out, so to speak, and have people in his unit treat him differently?”

“You mean like hate crimes?”

“Well, no. I wasn’t even thinking about that,” Archie said, realizing that was certainly another option. “I was thinking more along the lines of what if one day they’re in a situation and his life is on the line and the only person he has to rely on is a homophobic jerk? Can he trust him to save his life or is he going to be the type that thinks gays deserve to…”

“Archie,” Jackie interrupted. “I see your point and it’s a valid one, but these guys, the ones in Cook’s unit are like family. They’re the best of friends, do you really think that they’d actually let one their own die just because they’re gay?”

“Worse has happened, you know.”

It was Jackie’s turn to heave a sigh. It didn’t seem like Archie was going to be easily swayed. “Don’t you think that by now Cook would know who he could trust and who he couldn’t?”

“Of course.” He glanced over at the clock on the wall looking for an excuse to change the subject. “You staying for dinner?

“Nah, I’ve gotta work tonight.” She smiled, catching onto the fact that their conversation was over. “Thanks again for putting a good word in for me at the store. I really enjoy it.”

“You’re welcome,” Archie replied.

“Ok, well I just wanted to drop by and make sure you were up to speed on what’s going on. Sorry if I upset you.”

“I’m not upset,” Archie assured her. “Thanks for telling me though.”

“You’re welcome.” She looked down at her watch. “Well, I should get going. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright. Bye, Jackie.” Archie waved her off before heading towards the bedroom to change out of his uniform.

*****

Later that night, Archie stood by the stove making himself a grilled cheese sandwich to go with the bowl of soup that he’d warmed up for dinner. He was just putting the slice of cheese on the lightly toasted bread when his cell phone began to ring. He whirled around, recognizing the ringtone and jogged into the living room where he’d left the phone. Usually he kept his phone on him, but he wasn’t expecting a call so late in the evening. David never called him in the evenings.

When he answered, David gave him the usual instructions and he hung up only to immediately begin dialing his boyfriend’s number while walking back into the kitchen in order to salvage his sandwich from being burned.

“Hey!” David greeted a few seconds later.

“Hey,” Archie responded, still a bit confused by the timing of the call. “Sorry it took me a few minutes to get to the phone. I wasn’t expecting you to call. It must be like three in the morning there.”

“Yeah, three forty-five actually. Were you busy?”

“No!” Archie assured him while he quickly flipped one slice of bread onto the other and turned the heat down. “I’m just uh, making myself dinner.”

“Cool,” David said. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Ok.” Archie felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth despite the fact that his concern was spiking just a bit. “Long day?”

David chuckled lightly. “Yeah, you could say that.”

Archie had learned long ago not to expect more information than that. He figured it was for the best anyway. He would rather not know about what’s going on or what David’s been involved in.

“How was your day?”

“Busy,” Archie replied. “I had orientation all morning and then worked the afternoon shift. Some lady tipped me a fifty with her number written on it.” He smiled, knowing that David would get a laugh out of that and probably tease him about it forever. “Other than that, it was pretty much routine.”

“Should I be jealous?”

“Gosh no!” Archie laughed. “She was old enough to be my grandmother.” He immediately cringed and smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. “Um, I mean… not that you’d have a reason to be jealous if she was, you know, younger.” David’s laughter filled his ears and he took a deep breath, willing himself not to get emotional. “I miss hearing you laugh,” he finally said.

“I know, baby,” David said in a gentle tone.

Archie sighed heavily, turned off the stove, and left the kitchen; abandoning his dinner in favor of curling up on the couch to talk to David. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get all sappy on you.”

“It’s ok. I know how you feel. I miss everything about you.”

That made Archie feel a little better as he grabbed a pillow and sat down on one end of the sofa. “Why aren’t you resting?”

“Gotta brief the guys on a mission in a couple of hours and I couldn’t sleep.”

“I see,” Archie swallowed, ignoring the apprehension rising up in his mind.

“So anything exciting going on except you getting hit on by grandma?”

“Not a whole lot,” Archie replied, giggling to himself as he picked at a loose thread on the pillow in his lap. “Oh! Jackie heard that there have been some news about DADT.”

“What kind of news?” David asked, genuinely interested. He remained quiet as Archie explained the ruling to him. “Wow. That’s awesome,” he said once Archie was finished.

“Cook?” 

“Hmm?”

“If you’re still over there when it happens, what will you do?” Archie was a bit hesitant to ask, but it was like he needed to know the answer.

“What do you mean?”

“I just wondered if you’ll start telling people.”

A moment of silent passed before David answered his question. “I probably won’t broadcast it or anything, but if anyone asks, I won’t deny it.” He paused again before asking Archie what he thought he should do. He then listened to Archie explain his reservations just as he’d explained them to Jackie earlier. “My guys are good guys, Archie,” David said in response. “I don’t think that’s something I’d ever have to worry about in this unit.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I know I’m probably just being paranoid, but I worry about things like that.”

David chuckled, knowing just how paranoid his boyfriend could be. However, he understood where he was coming from. If their roles were reversed, he’d be just as skeptical. “It’s not unusual to worry, babe. Honestly, I’d share your feelings if I didn’t know these guys like I do.” 

They talked for a while until the alarm on David’s watch went off. “So I have to go, but I’ll talk to you later?”

“Oh…ok. Yeah.” Archie’s heart sank. He wasn’t quite ready to hang up. Of course, he was never ready to let David go when they talked.

“I love you.”

Archie smiled; his heart filled with the warmth that came from hearing his lover speak those words. “I love you, too, Cook. Be safe.”

Archie turned off his phone when he was sure that David had hung up. Then, after a few moments of sitting in the quiet, now dark living room, he went back into the kitchen to throw his partially cooked dinner in the garbage and to grab a granola bar. He suddenly didn’t feel hungry.

*****

“So, Chris says that as soon as he and Cook are back, they’re taking us for a weekend trip in Colorado,” Jackie informed. She’s been at Archie’s since they left work together hours earlier.

Archie looked up from the notebook he was writing in. “Oh yeah?”

“Mm hmm,” she replied between bites of ice cream. “Glenwood Springs. Apparently, they’ve been talking about it. One of their buddies mentioned how nice it was. I looked it up online last night. Lots of caves and scenic stuff. Hiking. Hot springs…” She grinned as she mentioned that last part.

“Cook hasn’t mentioned it,” Archie mumbled before going back to work on the to-do list that he was trying to compile.

“He probably will the next time you hear from him. I think they just came up with the idea.” 

Archie nodded. “Probably.” It had been a couple of weeks since he’d heard from David anyway. It wasn’t unusual, but it still made him worry. Especially since David had mentioned a mission the last time they talked.

“Doesn’t it excite you?” Jackie asked, tilting her head in confusion at Archie’s passive behavior.

He smiled, despite his conscience warning him—as it always did—not to get his hopes up. “Of course.”

“But?” She raised an eyebrow. “You know, Archie, having something to look forward to until he comes home seems to make it a little easier.”

Archie looked up—this time laying his pen down and giving her his full attention. “How?”

She shrugged her shoulders and took another bite of her ice cream, mumbling something that sounded like “I don’t know” before she went on to say, “It’s just that if we make plans, then he has to come home… ya know? Because we made plans.”

Archie nodded understandingly. Sure, her logic was a bit naïve, but he got where she was coming from. It gave her a sense of certainty. And if that was what she wanted, then who was he to suggest otherwise. He did feel a bit differently about it though. The only thing he wanted or needed to look forward too was the day David came home.

After Jackie went home, Archie pulled out a blank sheet of paper and began writing a letter to David. It had been almost a week since he last wrote to the other man and he felt that it was time. He knew how much David enjoyed his letters. Of course, Archie didn’t see anything special about his letters, they were just his normal ramblings about everyday things, but David had told him he always anticipated getting a new one. That was reason enough for him to keep writing them, even when he didn’t have anything special to say.

Dear Cook,  
I hope this letter finds you well. I know it’s been a while since I last wrote to you. I’m sorry for that. I have no excuse other than that I’ve been busy. Actually, it seems like I’m busier now than I was during school. How is that even possible?  
Jackie was here a little while ago. She mentioned that you and Chris are planning a trip to Colorado when you get home. She’s very excited even though she has no idea when it will happen. I have to admit, it sounds like a lot of fun! I can’t wait to hear more about it.  
I got a phone call from Brooke the other day. She’s getting married in December! Can you believe it? MARRIED! I knew she was seeing someone, but I wouldn’t have dreamed that there would be wedding bells so soon. Oh by the way, his name is Dave. Haha! Anyway, I guess I’ll be taking a trip to Los Angeles because that’s where she’s planning to have the wedding. I’ve never been to LA so I’m having mixed feelings about it. I don’t know whether to be excited or scared! I think I’m more excited than scared though.  
Speaking of old friends; I forgot to tell you before, while I was in Blue Springs for the 4th, I ran into Andy. He’s got his own band now… or part of his own band? I don’t know if you’ve kept in touch or whatever, but I had no idea that Neal was playing with another band. They’re currently on a nationwide tour according to Andy. How cool would that be? Maybe we should have pursued careers in music. What do you think our lives would be like if we’d done that?  
Hmm, what else? Oh! Your mom has asked me to help her with the community food drive. She also put Andrew and I in charge of selling raffles and working the booth at the fair. Believe it or not, I’m looking forward to that. I might have convinced Jackie that she needs to help too. We’ll see. At least staying so busy passes the time until school starts again.  
Well, I think that’s all my random thoughts for right now. I’ll write again tomorrow. Love you! Take care!  
~DA

*****

David was tucking the letter into a pocket on the front of his vest, still smiling fondly at the little smiley face Archie had drawn under his initials when Christian came into the room.

“Cook! Captain wants MI to tag a long on a patrol. It’s you and me, man.”

Without hesitation, David stood up from his desk and picked up his rifle and helmet. “I call shotgun.”

“No way, man. You got to ride shotgun the last time,” Christian argued as they made their way outside to the awaiting convoy.

“Well, if you’re gonna be such a baby about it…” David teased before hoping into the back of the lead Humvee, surrendering the front seat to his friend.

*****

One Friday afternoon, Archie traveled to Blue Springs to visit his family. He spent the day hanging out with his siblings, going to a movie and having lunch at a local Thai restaurant afterwards. It had been forever since they’d done anything like that together and Archie had fun just hanging out with them.

It was later, as he was sitting in his mom’s living room chatting with her about the episode of Dr. Phil that they’d just watched, when the news show that was starting caught his attention. He grabbed the remote that was lying on the coffee table to turn up the volume so he could hear the report.

His mom furrowed her brow in concern and looked towards the TV as the news anchor said, “Four American soldiers were fatally wounded yesterday afternoon in Afghanistan when their convoy was hit with an IED. Details of the soldiers’ identities have not yet been released, but we have been told that they were members of the 2nd Brigade Special Troops Battalion based in Fort Riley, Kansas.”

“Mijo?” She turned her attention back to Archie whose face had drained of all color.

“That’s Cook’s Battalion,” he whispered.


	10. Chapter Ten

A Soldier’s Love

Chapter 10

Archie had spent the whole morning forcing himself through the motions of getting showered and dressed. He was in the bathroom, adjusting his tie in front of the mirror, when he heard his mom come in the front door. “Mijo?” she called as she laid her keys down on the table by the door.

“In here, Mama!” Archie hollered down the hall. “I’ll be right there.” He sighed, looking at himself in the mirror once more. He’d been somewhat successful at getting rid of the bags under his eyes, but his eyes were still red and glassy.

Apparently, he stared at himself longer than he’d intended and his mother’s sudden image in the mirror next to his startled him out of his thoughts. “Oh! Sorry,” he apologized. “I zoned out for a minute, I guess.”

Lupe gave him an understanding nod and wrapped her fingers around his arm. “We should be going.”

*****

Two hours later, as the car pulled up to the chapel at Fort Scott, Archie stared out the window; his hands were already trembling. The sign by the entrance read, Cheney Witt Funeral Home. The reality of where he was sent a chill down his spine, and he shivered as thoughts of what could have been filled his mind.

“You ok, honey?” Lupe asked when she noticed Archie’s hesitation to get out of the car.

Slowly, he shook his head. “I don’t think I can do this,” he whispered while watching several men and women in uniform walking into the building.

Lupe reached over and placed a comforting hand on his back as he bent over, putting his face in his hands. “I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.” Bearing a look of sympathy in her eyes and a tear on her cheek, Lupe pulled Archie into a tight hug. “Perhaps I should take you back home,” she suggested. She should have known that going home wasn’t an option.

Archie pulled out of her embrace, already shaking his head in protest and wiping angrily at his eyes before he looked back up at the brick building. “No. I have to do this for Jackie.” His voice cracked a bit as he continued, “and for Cook.” Glancing out the window once more, he noticed Jackie getting out of a car not too far from theirs. He took one more deep breath, knowing that he couldn’t put it off any longer, and reached for the door handle. “Come on, Mama. I’m ready.”

Together they walked up to the stairs that led into the building and stopped at the bottom step to wait for Jackie. She was making her way up the walk with her brother and her parents. When she saw Archie and Lupe, she quickened her pace until she was standing directly in front of Archie.

Jackie’s eyes mirrored his own except they were probably three times as red. Understandable, of course; she’d just lost the man that she’d wanted to spend the rest of her life with. To be honest, Archie wasn’t sure how she was holding it together as well as she was. He was in anguish just thinking about being in her place.

“Thank you for coming,” Jackie whispered as she wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace.

Archie nodded and blinked away more tears as she stepped back. Then after Archie shook hands with Jackie’s father and offered his condolences, he followed them inside.

During the funeral, Archie set near the back with his mom, while Jackie sat with Christian’s family up at the front. Throughout the entire service, he kept thinking about David. He wanted him home now more than ever. Before Christian’s death, Archie hadn’t really thought about the real possibility of David being hurt. They were intelligence. Archie had been under the misguided assumption that they wouldn’t be in any real danger. Now, he couldn’t help the constant dread that loomed over him, from the time he woke up in the morning until he finally fell asleep at night.

He also worried about how David was coping with losing his only real friend in his unit. Did he even have time to mourn? Although David and Chris hadn’t been friends that long, he was one of his closest. David trusted him; confided in him. Archie knew David well enough to know that he wouldn’t be able to let go that easily.

Christian was laid to rest in Fort Scott’s National Cemetery following the funeral service. Archie found the graveside ceremony to be rather unsettling. The military band playing TAPS was something he decided he never wanted to hear again; nor did he want to jump at the sound of multiple guns going off in salute to the fallen soldier. It all hit way too close to home for him.

*****

The moment David laid eyes on Archie standing near the gate, he felt his heart rate increase and it finally sunk in that he was home. He began pushing his way through the crowd of people and Archie did the same until they were only feet apart. 

“Hey,” Archie said timidly, unshed tears already blurring his vision as he took in the sight of his boyfriend. He wasn’t sure how David would react to having him there to pick him up. Usually, Beth did that kind of thing, but it had been decided—by Beth—that Archie should go this time.

When David didn’t respond, Archie swallowed thickly and almost started to wonder if it had been a bad idea to surprise him there like that, in front of everyone. However, a mere second later, David dropped his bag and pulled Archie into a crushing hug.

Archie’s body tensed at first, but immediately relaxed into David’s strong embrace. Then he finally let go of his tears because being able to see and touch his lover for the first time in seventeen months and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that he was ok was like being able to breathe again. And that was an incredible feeling.

The couple stood there for a long time, just holding each other, realizing how lucky they were. Eventually, David let go, wiping at his own eyes. “I’m so glad that you’re the one who came to pick me up.”

Archie smiled, his heart swelling with joy. “Your mom insisted. I wasn’t sure if it was...” he was silenced by David’s mouth falling upon his own in a gentle kiss. It was so unexpected that Archie forgot to respond which only made David chuckle softly as he started to pull away. However, with his heart beating rapidly in his chest, Archie pulled him back, crushing their lips together again. He whimpered helplessly as David immediately kissed him back, cupping his face in both hands.

The fact that they were making out in the middle of a crowded airport felt both liberating and terrifying at the same time. Archie hadn’t been prepared for David to allow such a blatant, public display of affection so soon. It completely threw him for a loop, but he warmed up to the idea rather quickly.

Several moments later when they finally parted, breathing unsteadily David pressed his forehead against Archie’s and closed his eyes. “Tell me that this isn’t a dream.”

More tears clouded Archie’s vision as he reassured David and gave him another hug. “I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered, choking back a sob.

“Me too, babe. Me too.” David replied as he lovingly petted the back of Archie’s head. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Archie mumbled against David’s shoulder.

*****

Leaning back against the counter, Archie watched David put the rest of the leftovers in the refrigerator. He almost couldn’t believe that he was really home. They’d spent the evening with Beth and Andrew. Beth had made David’s favorite meal as a welcome home treat for him. The idea was a success. David had been thrilled with his meal from the moment he walked through the door and smelled the cornbread baking.

David felt Archie’s eyes on him as he straightened up and closed the refrigerator door. “So,” he said as he began moving towards his boyfriend. “Alone at last.”

Archie giggled lightly and whispered, “Finally,” as David slipped his arms around his waist. Then a more serious look graced his face. “It’s so good to have you home.”

“It’s good to be home,” David told him as he once again closed the space between their lips.

This time, their kiss was less needy and more sensual. Archie lifted his arms to wrap around David’s neck and forced his body closer to him, wanting—needing—more contact. David’s hands slid lower, grasping at Archie’s hips as he pressed him back against the counter.

“Cook,” Archie gasped tearing his mouth away from their kiss—the need for air finally forcing them to part.

“Mmm,” David growled low in his throat while his lips grazed over the smooth skin of Archie’s neck for a moment, before he took a step back. “We really should clean up in here.”

That change in subject surprised Archie. It wasn’t like David to go from kissing him that way to wanting to clean. But after shooting David a confused look, Archie glanced around at the kitchen. It was kind of messy; too messy to wait until the morning.

“Then we can spend all night catching up,” David teased, putting emphasis on catching up.

“Oh, alright,” Archie sighed dramatically as he slipped out from between David and the counter. “I guess you’re right. Why don’t you just go relax and I’ll finish up in here. It’s your first day home. I am not making you clean the kitchen.”

David smirked. “Aw, thanks, baby.”

“Don’t mention it,” Archie replied while grabbing a dishcloth from the drawer near the sink.

“So,” David said, “Since I’m not helping, I think I’m gonna go take a shower. See you in a few?”

“Of course,” Archie said with a grin just before letting David give him another quick smooch.

*****

A half an hour later, Archie finally finished cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, so he headed down the hallway to their bedroom. He smiled fondly upon entering the room. David was sprawled out on the bed and snoring softly, obviously asleep. “Well at least he managed to take the shower,” he whispered to no one, when he noticed David’s wet hair, as well as the discarded towel lying next to the bed.

Knowing how tired David must be, Archie left him alone. He figured it would be a good time to go get a shower himself. He did, however, take the time to pick up the towel along with David’s clothes and throw them in the laundry room on his way down the hall.

By the time he was done with his shower, David had woken up and was sitting back against the headboard. “Hey, sleepyhead. How was your nap?” Archie asked as he walked into the room, heading over to his dresser to get some clean clothes.

“Not long enough,” David stated tiredly as he watched Archie put on a pair of sweat pants and an old t-shirt before going back to the bathroom to hang up his towel.

“Well,” Archie said when he returned. “It has been a long day. We can call it an early night, if you want. We’ll have plenty of time for catching up later.” He then turned off the overhead light, leaving the room dimly lit by the small touch lamp on his nightstand.

David smiled gratefully and slid down in the bed, pulling the blankets around him while Archie climbed in next to him. “C’mere,” he commanded, holding his arms open as an invitation for his boyfriend.

Once Archie was comfortable, he looked up at the other man who was staring down at him. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” David leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Archie’s head before closing his eyes and pulling him closer. He was so tired and yet David couldn’t sleep; not for more than a few minutes at least. It had been like that for a couple of weeks. The images etched in his mind were too vivid and haunting. It was a lot like reliving the nightmare every time he closed his eyes. He hoped that being home would somehow change that.

*****

The first couple weeks following David’s return went by without a hitch. Archie was so happy to have him home. But as the weeks dragged on, he began to notice changes in David. At first, it was the small things like mild attitude and behavioral changes. He eventually started seeing the bigger picture and it wasn’t pretty.

When he got home from work late one night, he found David sitting in the kitchen with an open bottle of beer on the table in front of him. He was staring into space, idly flipping the bottle cap between his fingers.

“Oh! Hey,” Archie said upon entering the room. “You’re still awake.” As David looked up, Archie noticed the flicker of anger in his eyes. “Um, everything ok?”

“Glad you finally decided to come home.”

Normally, the cold tone of David’s voice would have taken Archie by surprise but he was getting used to it lately. “I had to work late. We had a busload of people show up right before my shift was supposed to end. My boss asked me to stay and help. I figured I could use the extra time.”

“You should have called,” David admonished as he stood up.

“I’m sorry,” Archie told him. It wasn’t like he intentionally neglected to call. He wasn’t used to having someone at home, worrying about where he was when he worked late. He’d been alone for so long it was taking him some time to adjust again. “We were so busy that I never thought about it.”

“Whatever. I’m going to bed.”

With a heavy sigh, Archie let him leave. He knew that was David only blowing off steam and that it was best not to try reasoning with him at the time. He picked up the bottle that David had left on the table. There was a few sips left in the bottom and it swirled around when Archie moved it. Curiously, he brought the bottle to his nose and sniffed, immediately wrinkling his nose. He then emptied the remainder of the liquid into the sink and started to toss the bottle into the nearby trash bin, but as he was doing so, he noticed a pile of food already in the trashcan. It took a moment for him to realize what it was, but once he did, his heart sunk. David had cooked dinner for them.

He wanted to go talk to David and to apologize again, but he knew that there was no use. David was in one of his moods and it wasn’t likely that he would get over it any time soon. So he opted to go get a shower.

He spent a longer time than necessary in the shower; mainly just to give David some more time and to think about things himself.

Before deployment, he and David rarely ever fought and if they did, it was over something substantial. Now, they argued about almost anything, and most of the time it was over stupid, petty things. Changes were expected. He’d been prepared to deal with them, however, he apparently wasn’t quite as prepared as he thought he was.

He was still thinking about it while he stood in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around his waist as he brushed his teeth. When he rose up from rinsing his mouth, he noticed David leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. Archie didn’t say anything to the older man. He just went about reaching for something to wipe his mouth on.

“I’m sorry,” David apologized as he moved to stand behind Archie and slid his arms around him. Their eyes met in the mirror and Archie’s body relaxed, melting back into David’s arms. “I guess I got worried.”

Archie sighed as David’s lips brushed against his neck and he felt fingers splaying over his belly. He took David’s hands in his own and turned around to face him. “It’s ok. I should have called. It’s just that… Cook, I haven’t gotten used to having someone here again. I don’t get as many hours at work since classes started, so I jumped at the chance.” He looked up at his lover as he explained himself. He really needed David to understand how sincere his apology was. “And I’m so sorry that I missed dinner.”

“It’s ok. I overreacted,” David told him while their fingers laced together. “Forgive me if I seem a bit overprotective.”

“Why are you being so protective of me?” Archie had been wondering that for a few weeks, but hadn’t had the opportunity to bring it up.

David shrugged his shoulders and avoided meeting Archie’s eyes. “I don’t know. I just—If anything ever happened to you I…”

“Whoa,” Archie interrupted. “Don’t think like that, Cook. I’m fine. Nothing is going to happen to me.”

“I guess I’m just being stupid,” David admitted as he brought one of Archie’s hands up to his lips. He pressed a light kiss to the back of the hand and then sighed. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Archie gave David a shy smile as the space between them disappeared and their lips met in a tender kiss.

Then David stepped back into the hallway, still holding on to Archie’s hand. “Come to bed.”

Without a moment of hesitation, Archie let his boyfriend lead him to their bedroom. As soon as they were in the room, David turned to face him and initiated another kiss, cupping his face and taking his time to taste every inch of Archie’s minty-fresh mouth. Archie responded excitedly, letting his hands travel from David’s hips up to his sides, gathering his t-shirt along the way.

Before he knew it, David had him moving backwards towards the bed. He chuckled when he bumped into the footboard and caused them both to fall onto the bed with a slight bounce. Then while David rose up to pull his shirt over his head, Archie scrambled to the center of the bed, letting his eyes rake over his soldier’s well-developed torso as he crawled up to join him.

“Mmm,” Archie whimpered, curling an arm around David’s neck as their mouths fused together again. His entire body tingled with desire as the weight of his lover settled on top of him. He’d missed this part of their relationship.

Several long moments passed before David pulled back and just took time to stare down at the beautiful being beneath him. He wanted nothing more at that moment than to please him, to let him know that he still wanted him despite everything that had been going on--or not going on--with them.

His eyes drifted shut as Archie’s hands came up to his face, tracing his fingers through light brown scruff. “So sexy,” he whispered, looking into David’s eyes as he opened them again. David’s only response was a soft groan followed by another scorching kiss in which Archie readily accepted.

Archie’s whimpering soon turned into a low mewling sound as David’s denim clad thigh slid between his legs and David’s mouth found the sensitive spot on his neck. Archie’s back arched off the bed, bending in delight at the sensations turning his body into a bristling mess. “Oh, gosh. Yes. Please,” Archie moaned clutching on to David’s shoulders, digging his fingers into the pale flesh as his boyfriend’s thigh grinded against his groin.

David growled and began moving his mouth over Archie’s shoulder and then on down despite his lover’s protest as his leg lost contact. “Shh, baby,” he murmured right before his lips closed around a hardened nipple causing the younger man to hiss and tangle his fingers in David’s hair.

Archie trapped his lower lip between his teeth and closed his eyes. David’s mouth along with the subtle scratch of his beard felt so good. Almost too good. Archie felt like he was about to burst from the intense pleasure. They hadn’t been intimate in so long, it was like being touched for the first time all over again. He pulled at the silky strands of David’s hair, pleading for him to keep going.

A smirk tugged at the corner of David’s mouth, and he pressed on more open-mouthed kiss to Archie’s belly before pulling on the knot that held the towel in place.

From the moment that David’s lips closed around him, Archie was gone; consumed by complete and utter ecstasy. David made sure he stayed that way, paying attention to all the right spots until the moment he took him all the way to the brink.

Archie’s body was still shaking when David’s lips returned to his, but he managed to roll them enough so he could hover slightly above David. Breathing heavily, he stared down at his boyfriend’s swollen lips for a moment before leaning down to taste them again while his hand slid aimlessly over David’s bare chest. However, as he was sliding his hand on down over his stomach heading for the button on his jeans, David stopped him.

“What’s wrong?” Archie asked.

“Nothing. I just… I wanted to do that for you.”

Archie smiled, his eyes sparkling playfully. “And I want to do this for you.”

“Seriously, babe. I’m good.”

Sensing that there was more to it than what David was saying, Archie pulled his hand back and gave him a gloomy look as he sat up.

“It’s not you,” David said with a sigh when, without another word, Archie got up from the bed in order to go get a pair of shorts from his dresser.

“It’s ok,” Archie said after he’d pulled the garment up over his hips and threw the covers back on the bed. “I should be sleeping anyway.”

A few minutes after Archie got into bed; David finally got up and walked down the hall to the bathroom. Once he was inside the small room, he stood in front of the mirror staring at his reflection for a while, wondering if he was ever going to be normal again. He’d really thought it would be different this time. He wanted it so badly; he was so sure he could do it, but his body just didn’t want to cooperate.

He’d done a good job at hiding his problem from Archie, until now. Now Archie probably just thought he wasn’t attracted to him anymore. That’s what he’d been afraid of to begin with. It’s exactly why he’d been so intent on showing him that he still wanted to be with him.

*****

Sometime in the middle of the night, David bolted upright in bed, breathing heavily and not knowing where he was.

“Babe?” Archie asked groggily as he reached to flip on the lamp. He wasn’t surprised to see David drenched in sweat, gasping for air, and holding a hand over his heart as if trying to calm it. It wasn’t the first time this had happened so he didn’t question it. He just sat up and reached out to touch David’s arm. When he did, David looked at him, his eyes wide and frantic at first. “It’s ok,” Archie said in a soft tone as his hand moved along David’s arm to cover the one that was still on his chest. “It was just another nightmare.”

David nodded, closing his eyes and swallowing thickly. “They feel so real,” he whispered.

At that point, Archie shifted a bit and pulled his boyfriend into his arms. Gently, he raked his fingers through David’s short, sweat-dampened hair. “Do you want to talk about it?”

As expected, David was quiet for a moment as if he were thinking about opening up to his lover, but then shook his head; just as he’d done every other time Archie asked. After a while, David finally pulled away and lay back down with his head against a pillow. Archie turned the light back off and curled up next to him, laying his head on David’s shoulder and draping an arm over him. “I wish you would talk to me, Cook,” Archie said later as he toyed with the metal dog tags that lay against David’s bare chest. “It might help make the dreams go away.”

“They’ll go away. They’re already getting better. They’re not as bad as they were in the beginning.”

Archie knew that wasn’t true. If anything, they were getting worse—or at least more frequent. He decided not to argue though. He didn’t want to seem pushy and upset David. His mood swings lately had been a bit unpredictable. “I hope you’re right.”

It took an hour or more for David to succumb to sleep again, and once he had, it was a restless slumber. He tossed and turned all night long, making it near impossible for either of them to get any rest.

The next morning when he wandered into the kitchen he was surprised to see his normally bright-eyed boyfriend looking quite weary as he sat at the table sipping on a cup of hot tea and trying to focus on whatever it was that he was reading on his laptop. He barely looked up when David walked into the room.

David went about making himself a cup of tea before joining Archie at the table. “Sorry about last night,” he said causing the younger man to lift an eyebrow. “I know I kept you awake half the night.”

“It’s ok,” Archie said as he sat up and stretched before reaching to close his laptop. “It’s not like I have class this morning or anything.”

“But you do have class.”

“I’m not going,” Archie said. “It’s too boring. There is no way I’d make it through the whole three hours today without going asleep and falling out of my chair.”

“I could start sleeping in one of the other rooms,” David suggested. “I can’t keep doing this to you.” 

“Don’t be silly, Cook. I don’t want you to sleep in one of the other rooms. I can usually get enough sleep.”

“Are you sure?” David watched as Archie got up and took his now empty mug over to the sink before returning to get his laptop. He felt really bad about the whole situation.

“Of course.”

“Ok,” David conceded. “So were you planning to do anything else since you’re skipping class?”

“Not really. I have a couple of assignments that I want to work on at some point, but mostly, I just want to nap. Why?”

“I thought maybe we could take a trip to Fort Scott. I think it’s time.”

Archie paused, setting his laptop back down. That was the first time David had mentioned going to Christian’s grave since the first week he was home. “Really?”

David nodded. “Yeah.”

*****

“It was a really nice service,” Archie stated as he and David stood next to Christian’s grave-site later that afternoon. David didn’t respond. Archie hadn’t really expected him to either. David hadn’t said much of anything since that morning when he brought up the idea of taking the road trip.

Finally, after a while of standing next to his boyfriend and studying his facial expressions, Archie decided he probably knew what David was thinking or at least he had an idea. He reached for David’s hand and squeezed gently. “It’s not your fault, you know.”

David barely looked up at him before roughly pulling his hand away and turning to leave. Archie heaved a sigh and knelt down to place the bouquet of flowers next to Christian’s headstone. He looked back over his shoulder at David, who was standing several feet away looking out over the countless rows of tombstones. Then he turned back to the grave in front of him. “He really misses you,” he said softly before getting back up to follow David back to the car.


	11. Chapter Eleven

A Soldier’s Love  
Chapter 11

Once David’s leave was over, he returned to his unit and duties at Fort Riley. Archie had hoped things would somehow get better, since David wouldn’t have so much free time on his hands, but it didn’t though. If anything, things got worse. He eventually decided that was because David was back at his old job, and the memories were probably a bit overwhelming. Archie tried to be understanding; he really did, but David made it difficult sometimes.

About a month after going back to work, David decided that he wanted to have something more to do with his time. So he found part-time job as a bartender at a local pub. When he told Archie about the new job, he said it was for the extra money, but Archie knew that David took the job because it would limit their time together even more.

David worked at the bar during hours that would not interfere with his military obligations, but those shifts were often the only times that Archie was home. The little time that they did have together was on the rare nights when neither of them worked. Of course, after a while it didn’t matter anyway. Even when they were both at home, they didn’t spend any time together.

One Saturday, Beth invited them for dinner, so they drove to Blue Springs to spend the day. It was later in the evening, while David was outside playing a friendly game of one-on-one with Andrew, when Beth cornered Archie. He had stayed inside to help her clean up after dinner, and he was waiting for her to say something. She’d been giving him questioning looks all day.

“Everything ok, Archie?” She finally asked, once they were finished and she’d made them some tea.

“Yeah, of course,” he said, avoiding eye contact as he took the steaming mug that she offered him.

“Archie,” Beth said in a gentle, motherly tone. “You’ve never been a very good liar.”

Archie plopped down into a chair. “Is it that obvious?” He asked, glancing up at her with an apologetic look on his face.

She nodded her head as she pulled out a chair across from him and sat down. “It’s been a while since you and I have talked.”

With a sigh, Archie lifted the tea bag from his cup and let it steep for a moment. “I don’t know what to do,” he finally admitted. He wasn’t sure how much he should tell Beth. She was, after all, David’s mother, but she’d always been there for both of them, and as much as he loved his own mother, Lupe paled in comparison when it came to needing someone to lean on while David was gone.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “So much has changed, and he won’t even talk to me about anything. I feel like we’re drifting apart and I’m powerless to do anything about it.”

“He’s been through a lot,” Beth said, reaching across the table to pat Archie’s hand. “It’s going to take time.”

“I know he’s been through so much; stuff I probably couldn’t even imagine and I don’t expect him to just forget about it. Believe me, Beth, I’m trying to be as understanding as I can, but I would just like to know that,” he paused to gather his thoughts. “Lately, I’ve been wondering if he even wants me around anymore.”

“Of course he wants you around,” Beth told him with a smile. “He loves you, honey. Even though he might be having a hard time showing it right now, I know he does.”

Archie nodded and brushed away a stray tear that had rolled down his cheek. Unfortunately, he was no longer sure he believed that.

Beth tried her best to be encouraging and give Archie good advice, but she really had no idea either. They were still sitting at the table when David and Andrew came back inside.

David shot Archie a curious glare, which made the younger man straighten up in his chair and look away. “Hey, Ma,” David said as he tossed the basketball to his brother. “I think it’s time for us to head back.”

Beth, though somewhat surprised by his abrupt decision to leave, stood up to give him a hug. “It was good seeing you,” she told him. “Don’t stay away so long this time.”

David chuckled and assured his mother that he would visit soon again. “Thanks for dinner. It was delicious as always.”

Beth then turned to Archie who had also stood up and was talking to Andrew. She pulled him into a hug and whispered, “Hang in there.” Archie only nodded in response and then thanked her for dinner. “You boys have a safe trip home,” she said as she walked them to the door. “Love you both.”

Once they were on the road, Archie looked over at David who hadn’t said a word to him since dinner. He was staring at the road ahead of him with a steely look on his face, as if he was thinking really hard about something. Either that or he was really angry and was trying not to explode. Archie wasn’t sure which it was, so he decided to sit there and keep his mouth shut.

Eventually David reached over and turned on the radio, but he was still silent. Archie sighed and slouched down in the seat, content with watching the darkness as it passed by.

They were almost home when David finally spoke, causing Archie to startle. “Let’s get something straight, Archie,” he said. “I don’t want you telling my mom a bunch of crap about our relationship.”

“What are you talking about?” Archie asked, already feeling his defenses start to flare.

“I’m not stupid. I know you two were talking about us while I was outside.”

“She asked how things were,” Archie explained, but David only glared at him before turning his eyes back to the road. “Your mother’s not stupid either, you know. I guess she picked up on what an ass you’re being.”

Had David not been in such a foul mood, the fact that Archie called him an ass might have amused him. However, he wasn’t amused right then. In fact, he was rather affronted by the accusation, and he was quick to let Archie know that he didn’t appreciate being called names.

“You know what?” Archie asked once David stopped ranting. “I don’t care how offended you are by that. It’s the truth. You’ve changed so much; I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”

David clenched his jaw and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “Maybe you don’t.”

Archie swallowed hard, his throat closing with emotion. That was probably the first thing they’d agreed on in weeks. Months maybe.

Neither of them spoke again for the rest of the ride home. Archie was too hurt and too lost in his own thoughts to mind the silence. When David pulled into their driveway, Archie quietly got out of the vehicle and disappeared into the house leaving David alone.

David sat in the driver’s seat for a while after he’d turned off the engine. He laid his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes. The truth was, David hated himself a little more every time he saw the pain in his boyfriend’s eyes, and yet he kept on starting arguments and building walls. Being back home just wasn’t getting any easier for him and he knew that sooner, rather than later, something was gonna have to change. He just didn’t know what, or even where, to start.

*****

It wasn't unusual for David to storm out of the room in the middle of an argument, but it never ceased to get on Archie’s last nerve when he did. All Archie was asking for was a little bit of an explanation. Why was David treating him the way he was? Was it really that hard just to talk to him?

This time their argument had started over Archie asking David to go to Brooke’s wedding with him. It was almost a month away, but Archie wanted to RSVP. David had immediately told him no and that had raised some questions. Neither of them had seen Brooke in a long time and, as far as Archie knew, David had always liked her. David had the last word, like always, and they weren’t exactly nice ones either.

Archie spent the hour following their fight stewing over it. When he finally decided to try to talk to David again, Archie found him in the basement where he often went to work out when he needed to let off steam. Archie wasn’t surprised to see that David was taking his stress out on the punching bag that hung from the ceiling. He did that a lot; said it was therapeutic.

“Cook,” he called out as he walked closer to the other man, but David didn’t even acknowledge him. “David?” He tried again, noticing the anger and frustration written all over his boyfriend’s face.

“Go away, Archie,” he growled.

“No. We need to talk.”

“Nothing,” David grunted as his fist hit the sand-filled bag with more force, “more to talk about.”

Archie sighed heavily and walked over to the punching bag. Cautiously, he grabbed the bag to steady it, hoping that David would stop for a minute.

“God damn it, Archie!” David shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. “I can’t stand this! You’re such a—such a—ugh! Can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?”

Clenching his jaw, Archie swallowed the lump that was suddenly rising in his throat and blinked against the tears stinging his eyes. Throughout all of the bickering and all the mood swings, David had never said something like that to him. “No. Not until you talk to me.”

Archie flinched as David went on a tangent, shouting and swearing about how he’d had it with Archie’s pestering. “I don’t want to fucking talk! It won’t make things better! It won’t change things!” He looked at Archie with a hateful glare. “And you… You need to stop acting like you know how I feel or know what I went through, because believe me, you have no fucking idea!”

Archie contemplated walking away and giving him the space that Cook wanted, because—well David was right; Archie had no clue. He knew that whatever David had experienced was bad, but he couldn’t really imagine the extent of what had happened. Maybe David would talk to him when he was ready. At least that’s what Archie was hoping for. He was about to turn around and leave, but before he could, David turned around and angrily slammed his fist into the wall. He immediately buckled over in agony crying, “Fuck!” over and over.

For a moment, Archie stood paralyzed with shock, but as soon as he saw the blood trickling over David’s fingers, he ran to his aid. Of course, David—though pale and broken—tried to jerk away and refuse to let Archie see his hand, but Archie was rougher than usual and David was in too much pain to put up much of a fight.

Once Archie managed to get David upstairs, he washed the blood away from the few cuts and examined the damage. “Gosh, you’re so stupid, Cook.” Archie said, glancing up at his boyfriend as he began to wrap a towel around the already swollen hand before going to get a bag of ice from the freezer. “Come on,” Archie said, ignoring David’s snarl as he shoved him lightly towards the door. “I can’t wait to hear you explain this one to the doctor.”

“I don’t need to go to the hospital,” David lied, dragging his feet as they walked out to Archie’s car.

*****

An hour or so later, David sat on an exam table in a room at St. Francis, waiting on his x-rays. Archie was in the chair next to the door, flipping through a copy of US Weekly. Neither of them had said much since the doctor left. Finally, when Archie reached the last page in the magazine, he tossed it to the side and looked over at David. “How does it feel?”

“Ok for the moment,” David replied with a frown as he tried wiggling his fingers. “I think that pain medication is kicking in.”

Knowing that he probably had a good opportunity to talk to David, Archie got up and walked over to the where David sat and hopped up on the table next to him. “I’m sorry if I’ve been suffocating you.”

David shook his head, but didn’t look at Archie. “I should be the one apologizing. I’ve said some things that were way out of line. I keep thanking God that I hit the wall and not you.”

That statement kind of alarmed Archie; he hadn’t even though of that possibility, but with David’s mood swings—who knew what he might be capable of? “Is that something I should worry about?”

David sighed and shook his head. “I really hope not.”

“I wish you would talk to me,” Archie said before reaching for David’s uninjured hand. “I love you, Cook. I know it irritates you, but I can’t help worrying about you.”

“I’m fine, Arch. I just… I need time to readjust.”

“You’re not fine. It’s been three months. You’re not getting better. You’re getting worse, and I can’t stand watching you self-destruct. You need help.”

Before David could respond, the doctor walked back into the room with x-ray results in hand. “I’m afraid that the wall won this battle, Mr. Cook,” he said good-naturedly. “You have a fractured ulna and a cracked knuckle.”

“Ulna?” Archie asked.

“It’s the bone that runs along here,” the ER doctor replied as he gently lifted David’s arm and ran his finger along the side of his forearm. “Fortunately, it’s a small fracture. It won’t require surgery.”

“That’s good!” Archie smiled brightly at David, trying to be encouraging.

“We’ll need to tape your fingers and cast your arm to stabilize the break.”

Archie patted David’s knee as he got up from where he’d been sitting in order to return to his chair by the door. He figured the doctor and his assistant would need room to work.

While they worked, the doctor told them that he was going to be writing David a prescription for a rather high-powered pain medication and explained the risks and precautions. Archie made sure he understood everything they were being told because he knew David wasn’t paying attention, apparently the medication that he’d already been given was pretty potent.

David was discharged a while later when the doctor finished taping his fingers and wrapping his cast. He then sulked out to the car and slipped into the passenger seat while Archie got in on the driver’s side. “You ok?” Archie asked, looking over at David as he slouched down and leaned his head against the window.

“MmHmm. Just really sleepy.”

“Ok. Well, you can sleep all you want once I get you home. I just have to stop by the pharmacy to get your prescription filled first.” He sighed and started the vehicle when David mumbled something incoherent and closed his eyes.

*****

“You’re awake,” Archie observed later that night when David wandered into the living room where Archie sat curled up in the armchair working on his homework.

David replied plopped down onto the couch. “I haven’t slept that good since… well, before.”

Archie glanced up for a second to see David rubbing a hand over his tired face. It was a relief to hear him say that. He knew the amount of trouble David had been having with sleep since he’d came home “How’s your arm feeling?”

“It’s aching a little, but nothing I can’t bear for the moment.”

“Ok. I put your medicine in the bathroom above the sink if you need it. Are you hungry? I made some chili earlier. Do you want some?”

David shook his head. “Not right now, maybe later. Um, could we talk?”

Archie raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend. This was new. Maybe the events from earlier had opened his lover’s eyes enough that he could see what was going on. “S-sure,” Archie stammered. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Today,” David said as he patted the seat next to him. “Come here.”

Archie got up, laying his books to the side and went to sit down next to David.

“I love you,” David said, looking directly at Archie, which made the younger man feel more nervous than reassured. “I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t.”

Archie frowned. “Well, it’s been really difficult to tell lately.”

“I know,” David replied, reaching up with his good hand to massage his forehead. He could already feel a headache coming on. “That’s why I’m about to say this.” He looked at Archie, again, this time with a look that made Archie’s heart pound. “This whole thing with us; It’s not fair to you, and I’m sorry about everything I’ve put you through.”

“Cook,” Archie tried, feeling dread wash over him. “It’s ok. We can get past this. We’ll do it together. You just have to let me in. Let me help you.”

“I just got off the phone with my superior. I’m going to stay on the post for a while. I think it would be better if we take a break.”

Archie stared at David for a moment, unsure if he’d heard correctly. “Are you—are you breaking up with me?”

“I think it’s for the best.”

“How is that for the best?” Archie asked not bothering to mask the hurt in his voice.

“It just is,” David said, a hint of frustration evident in his tone. “You don’t deserve to be…”

“Shut up,” Archie said, feeling as though his heart was breaking. “Just shut up.” He sat there for a moment, honestly unable to fully believe what was happening. He didn’t need to hear what David thought he did or didn't deserve.

“God, Archie,” David said after a long silence. “Will you stop looking at me like that?”

“How am I supposed to look at you?” Archie shook his head before David could answer though. “Cook, I know that you saw and did things over that I can’t even begin to imagine. I’m not denying any of that, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t anticipate some changes in our relationship. But what I didn’t expect was to be shut out and I didn’t expect you not to want me anymore.”

“It’s not that I don’t want you. I love…”

“Don’t!” Archie growled; choking on a sob as a rush of tears coursed over his cheeks. “Don’t sit there and lie to me. If you loved me, you wouldn’t be doing this.”

“I…” David sighed, wishing he knew what to do to make this easier. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Archie, but either way he went about it, he was getting hurt. If he stayed, their relationship would just keep getting rockier and if he left—“You’ll be so much better off without me.”

“If I even remotely agreed with that, I wouldn’t have stuck with you for three years. Three years, Cook! I wouldn’t have waited for you to come home from Afghanistan. Do you have any idea how hard that was for me? Going through each and every day not knowing if I’d ever see you again? Does any of that stuff even matter to you?”

“Archie…”

“Never mind. I’m done with this conversation.” Archie stated, stubbornly as he stood up. “Goodnight, Cook.”

A few minutes later, David got up and headed to the bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet, he searched for the orange bottle that Archie had stashed there. Once he found it, he read the directions and attempted to get the lid off the top. It didn’t take him long to get frustrated with it though. He cursed at the bottle and was almost ready to throw it against the wall when Archie poked his head into the room. Apparently, he’d heard the commotion from down the hall in their bedroom.

Archie reached for the bottle, which David gave him without hesitation, and popped the cap off. He then poured a couple of tablets into his palm and handed them to David.

The whole time that he was in the room with David, Archie didn’t say a single word, but David could see the shimmer of tears clinging to his lashes. David watched as Archie stepped further into the bathroom to grab a Dixie cup from the dispenser on the sink. He offered a quiet “thank you” when Archie set the cup of water on the counter, but Archie’s only response was a nod as he walked back out the door.

David stood there for a moment in awe at his boyfriend’s thoughtfulness. Even after David had tried to break up with him, Archie still cared enough to help him. He felt like such a jerk. With a heavy sigh, David tossed the pills into his mouth and picked up the paper cup, swallowing its contents in a single gulp.

A few minutes later David stood in front of the refrigerator looking for a beer. He found a couple stashed behind the milk so he pulled them out, tucking them under his arm, before going to find the bottle opener.

*****

Archie didn’t sleep at all that night, his mind just wouldn’t shut down. He kept staring at the red glow of the alarm clock, wondering if David would decide to come to bed. Archie didn’t really expect David to, but he kind of hoped he would. If anything, he just wanted a reason to believe that David hadn’t been serious about splitting up.

Finally, at four-fifteen in the morning, Archie got fed up with waiting and climbed out of bed. He padded through the quiet house, looking for David. He found David in the garage, slouched over the piano he'd bought for Archie all those months ago, empty bottles littered the floor around him. “Cook?” Archie said, as panic began to make his skin crawl.

Archie hurried over and gently shook David in an attempt to wake him. “Cook, wake up,” he demanded, as he lightly patted David’s cheek. It took a couple of tries, but eventually David stirred, groaning as he tried to open his eyes. Relief washed over Archie, and he let go of a breath that he hadn’t even known he was holding. “Oh thank God. What were you thinking?” He asked; his voice a bit louder than he had intended. “Sorry,” he added a little more quietly when he saw the grimace on David’s face.

It was a complete fiasco, but Archie managed to get David from the garage to the living room, where David promptly curled up on the sofa and closed his eyes again. Archie left him there long enough to get a few bottles of water from the kitchen. When he returned to the living room, he woke David up again and made him drink the water. Archie ignored David griping unintelligibly about how he would probably need to go to the bathroom after drinking all that.

Once he’d made sure that David had plenty of water, Archie moved to sit on the sofa and let David lay his head in his lap. “You could have killed yourself,” Archie spoke softly as he looked down at David who was staring up at him through half-lidded eyes. He raked his fingers gently through David’s hair as fresh tears slipped from the corners of his eyes. “I’ll accept you leaving me, but please don’t do it that way.”

Archie sat there for the rest of the night, keeping watch over David as he slept; silently weeping over what had become of their almost perfect relationship.


	12. Chapter Twelve

A Soldier’s Love  
Chapter 12

David didn't change his mind about going to Brooke’s wedding like Archie had hoped he would, and attending a wedding just wasn’t something Archie wanted to do alone. So he recruited Jackie to take the trip with him. David didn’t seem to mind the arrangement. Of course, Archie wouldn’t have expected him to anyway.

A few weeks before, David had decided that he was going to go ahead with his plan to put some space between him and Archie. By then Archie knew there was nothing he could do about it and just let Cook go. He hoped David would eventually come to his senses. Maybe time away was what he needed. At least that’s what Archie kept telling himself.

Jackie looked at the trip to California as a chance to take a break from life. Archie had worried that the wedding would upset her, but she insisted that she would be fine; and she was, for the most part. Then Archie noticed her getting a little teary eyed a couple of times during the wedding, and by the time it was over, she seemed to just shut down.

After they returned to the hotel, Archie walked with her to her room and stood by the door while she unlocked it. “You ok?” He asked.

Jackie nodded. “Yeah. I was just thinking.”

“Do you want to talk?”

“Can I raid the mini bar too?” Jackie asked, only half joking.

Archie chuckled and followed her into the room. “It won’t make anything better, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I wasn’t really going to raid the mini bar, Archie.” She tossed her jacket and keycard onto the dresser and kicked off her shoes. “C'mon, sit.”

Archie made himself comfortable on the chair by the window and waited for her to start talking. He knew she would. She wasn’t one who needed to have her feelings dragged out of her, she always voiced what she was thinking.

“I thought this wouldn’t affect me,” she began. “I’ve been talking with the pastor at my church, and I’ve made so much progress.”

Archie nodded and just let her talk- it was clearly the way she dealt with things. That was also a quality he wished David possessed. David was pretty much a closed book on everything, now. Of course, Archie knew that part of it was because some of the information was classified, but he still didn’t like the fact that David kept everything bottled up. It wasn’t healthy.

“So how’s David?” she asked a while later, when she was obviously feeling better.

“I haven’t talked to him in a few days,” Archie replied, trying to hide the hurt in his voice. “Not since Tuesday.”

Jackie gave him a questioning look. Tuesday was two days before they’d left Kansas. “Oh?”

“He’s been staying on post lately,” Archie replied.

“He was serious about that?”

“Yeah,” Archie shifted a bit in his seat in an attempt to get more comfortable. “He said we needed to take a break, so he left.”

Jackie frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“No need,” Archie replied. “I just wish I knew how to get through to him.”

“Has he seen a counselor or anything?”

“Just the one when he first got back, but other than that—I’ve suggested it to him, but he insists that he’s fine.”

“He really should consider it. I tried to deal with all this on my own, but it was just too much. I can’t imagine how David must feel, you know, being over there and knowing exactly what happened.”

“I sometimes think he blames himself for what happened to Chris, but I don’t know why. He won’t even say his name much less talk to me about what happened.”

“Maybe he will someday,” she said, trying to reassure her friend.

Archie shrugged. He wasn’t going to hold his breath.

*****

On Christmas morning, Archie paused, struggling with the armload of gifts he was trying to put in his car when his phone rang. He carefully balanced the packages between his hip and the fender while he fished his phone from his pocket. “Hello?” He answered without paying any mind to the caller ID.

“Hey, Arch.”

“Cook,” Archie responded before going back to loading the gifts into the backseat. He hadn’t been expecting a call from David so early in the morning. If or when he called, it was in the evenings. “What’s up?”

“Not a lot. I was just calling to wish you a Merry Christmas.”

“Oh.” Archie closed the car door and started back up to the house. He still had to grab his overnight bag and lock up. “Merry Christmas.”

“Uh... Mom wants to know if you’ll be coming by for dinner.”

That question stopped Archie in his tracks and gave his heart a solid jolt. Beth wanted to know.

“Arch? You still there?”

With a sigh, Archie turned the knob on the front door to let himself back inside. “Yeah. I’m... uh, I don’t know about dinner, Cook.”

“She’s going to be really disappointed if you don’t.”

“What about you?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you be disappointed? Do you even want me there? I don’t want to make things awkward for you.” There was nothing but silence on the other line and Archie was glad he hadn’t let himself hope for too much. “Okay then. Enjoy Christmas with your family, Cook. I have to go.”

“No!” David blurted out quickly. “Wait.”

“Okay,” Archie said, mentally squashing down the little bit of excitement bubbling inside of him.

“I... I would really like for you to join us for dinner.”

“Are you sure?” Archie had been completely serious about not wanting things to be weird for David during the holidays. He didn’t want to feel like he was intruding either.

“Yes. I want you here. It wouldn’t be the same without you and...”

“And?” Archie prodded.

“I miss you.”

Archie sat down, feeling as though his legs were suddenly too weak to hold him up. The all too familiar sting of tears tickled at the backs of his eyes. David missed him. He knew he probably shouldn’t read too much into it, but at least it gave him a little bit of faith that David might still care about him.

“Archie?”

“Hmm? Oh. Okay,” he replied, hoping his voice wasn’t as shaky as he felt. “What time should I be there?”

“Is seven okay for you? Dinner won’t be ready until about eight, but...”

“Seven is fine,” Archie replied.

“Okay. Great. I’ll see you later then?”

“Yeah.”

They said a quick goodbye and Archie remained seated on the couch staring at his phone. It was completely ridiculous, he knew, but the butterflies in his stomach were akin to the ones he’d had when he realized his crush on David.

*****

By the time he arrived at his mom’s house in Blue Springs, the butterflies had turned into something else. Something that could only be describe as nausea.

“Mijo?” Lupe asked, concerned as she took in the sight of her son when he walked into the kitchen where she was working on a couple of cherry pies.

“Hi, Mama,” he said, giving her a hug and a light kiss on the cheek. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” she returned the greeting, but gave him another worried look. “Are you not feeling well?”

“I’ve been better,” he replied as he took a seat on one of the bar stools across from where she was working. “Where is everyone?”

“Daniel is visiting with his girlfriend. Amber and Jazzy are with your father. They’re seeing a movie, and Claudia won’t be here until tonight,” she explained. “Now what is wrong with you?”

“Nothing is wrong. Not really...”

Lupe’s eyebrows arched in disbelief.

Archie sighed, resting his arms on the counter in front of him. He knew there was no point in trying to deny anything. His mother could read him like a book. “Cook called me this morning.”

“Well, isn’t that a good thing?”

“Yeah,” Archie frowned, trying to figure out how to explain the way he felt. “He wants me to go to his mom’s for dinner tonight. He said he misses me.”

Lupe smiled. “Of course he does. Maybe enough to realize it’s time to reconcile.”

Archie wanted to argue; to tell her that wasn’t likely, but he didn’t know where to begin. He hadn’t exactly told Lupe everything. As far as she knew, they were just having a bit of a lover’s quarrel. “I wish it were that simple.”

“It’s not?” Lupe asked, confused.

Archie sighed and sat up straighter in an attempt to seem less miserable. “I don’t think so.”

“Well, did you tell him that you would be there tonight?”

“Yeah,” Archie replied, hesitating a little before asking, “Mama, am I crazy for feeling like I need to be cautious?”

Lupe shook her head and wiped her hands on the apron she wore. “No. It’s completely normal, sweetheart. You’re heart has been hurt. It’s understandable if you feel like you need to protect it.”

Archie leaned into her as she came to stand by his side, wrapping her arms around him. “I just want him to love me—like before.”

“Oh, Mijo. Love is so complicated sometimes.” She raked her hand through his hair, feathering the dark locks through her fingers as she spoke to him in a soothing voice. “The situations that David has been in have changed him, maybe more than you anticipated—maybe more than he anticipated—but I can’t believe for one second that he stopped loving you.”

“Then why does it feel like it?”

“Because maybe he can’t express it in the same ways he used to. Maybe he’s afraid too.”

“I don’t understand. What would he have to be afraid of?”

“David didn’t come out of this unscathed. He’s suffered through a lot of loss.” Lupe pulled another bar stool over and took a seat herself. “Not only did he lose a close friend, but he lost a certain innocence and perhaps the ability to see the world as decent. Emotionally, he’s damaged. Maybe keeping you at a distance is his way of protecting his own heart.”

“I’d never hurt him.”

“I’m not the one who needs convinced,” Lupe told him with a warm smile. “If you want to make this work, it’s going to take a lot of time, effort, and compromise from both of you. So what if he doesn’t show you that he loves you? Believe him when he tells you that he does.”

Fat tears rolled over Archie’s cheeks and he sniffled as he looked up at Lupe’s concerned face. “There’s so much you don’t know, Mama.”

Archie spent the next hour talking with his mom about the things that had happened since David came home. She gave him the best advice she had. In addition to what she’d already told him, she told him to love unconditionally. “You have to take the bad with the good, mijo. Make sure he knows that you won’t give up on him.”

*****

Archie paced back and forth in front of the door while he waited for someone to open it. He had hoped the fluttering in his stomach would go away, but the closer he got to Beth’s house, the worse it got. It was crazy. He still wasn’t sure why they were there in the first place. It was David, not some perfect stranger.

“Since when do you ring the doorbell at this house?” Beth asked as the door swung open and she stepped out onto the porch.

“Um...”

“Exactly. You don’t.” She gave him a quick hug and ushered him inside, taking his coat to hang in the closet and telling him she’d put the gift bags he’d brought in the living room, next to the tree. “I’m finishing up some things in the kitchen, but David and Andrew are in the basement.”

“Ok.” Archie acknowledged what she’d said, but he made no effort to move in either direction after she’d left him to his own devices. Eventually he wandered into the kitchen. He wasn’t quite ready to face David yet. Over the last few weeks, they’d talked on the phone, but hadn’t seen each other. He had a feeling it would be uncomfortable. “Do you need help with anything?”

Beth looked up and studied him for a moment before motioning towards the cabinet “You can set the table if you want.”

Archie smiled, thankful that Beth didn’t send him away. Then he gathered up the plates and utensils that he needed for setting the table.

He was nearly finished when he realized he was no longer alone in the dining room. Knowing that it was David, he finished laying the last of the silverware down before he turned to face him. David was standing in the doorway, leaning casually up against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest. His demeanor wasn’t cold or distant, but Archie could tell he had a lot on his mind just by the look on his face. “Hey, Cook.”

“Hey,” David greeted. “How long have you been here?”

“About fifteen or twenty minutes.”

David couldn’t help but notice the hint of nervousness in Archie’s voice. He mentally berated himself for making him feel that way. “I know it’s been a while and I probably don’t deserve the courtesy, but could we talk?”

Archie had a short moment of hesitation before he finally answered. “Sure. Now?”

David shook his head. “Nah. Let’s wait until after dinner. Mom said it’s almost ready anyway.”

“Ok,” Archie smiled as Andrew joined them.

“Archie! Long time no see!”

“I know! How’s school going?”

“School is awesome! I’m telling ya, you should have gone to a university instead of community. The parties are awesome!”

Archie chuckled when he saw David roll his eyes at his brother’s comment. “You know that’s not really my thing.”

“Yeah, I guess. You would have been holed up in your dorm doing something offensive, like, studying.”

Just then, Beth walked in with a bowl of steaming-hot mashed potatoes to place on the table. “Ok, boys, dinner is ready. Everyone go grab a dish—or two.”

The evening went well. Archie easily fell back into the routine of ‘family dinner’ with the Cooks. It almost felt like nothing had changed. For a moment, he might have let himself pretend that nothing had.

Eventually, Beth stood up and told Andrew to help her clear the table. She gave Archie a wink and David a pat on the back. “We’ll exchange gifts after a while. Until then, why don’t you boys go spend some time together? Catch up, if you will.”

Archie gave David a questioning look, but the older man laid his napkin back on the table and stood up.  
“Come on, Arch. I think that’s Mom’s way of telling us we’re not needed.” David then led the way up to his old bedroom. After he moved out, Beth had redecorated and put a new bed in the room along with a desk and chair, so they had a comfortable, private place to talk.

Closing the door behind him, Archie decided that he’d sit at the desk because David had already chosen to sit on the edge of the bed. He was about to head for the chair when he noticed the guitar sitting in the corner of the room. It was the one that David had let him use when he gave him his first guitar lesson. He walked over to it and gently ran his fingers over the neck. “You never did finish teaching me to play,” he said, hoping to break through the awkward silence that had enveloped them as they’d climbed the stairs.

“Well, I haven’t mastered the piano yet, either,” David said, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“True enough,” Archie replied as he picked up the instrument. “You played lately?”

David looked up as Archie sat down on the bed next to him, holding the guitar in his lap. “Nah. I haven’t even picked a guitar up since... Well, it’s been a while...”

“Play something for me?” Archie requested, handing the guitar to David who took it with a bit of hesitance.

“Um,” David shifted to make himself more comfortable and lightly strummed the strings. “What do you want to hear?”

“Anything,” Archie said with a smile while David attempted to tune his guitar.

David smirked. “I can’t promise it'll sound as awesome as it used to. I’m a little rusty.”

The first notes filled his ears before Archie had time to reassure David that it would be good no matter what. He was pleasantly surprised by David’s choice of song. Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams—Archie hadn’t heard David sing that song since they were in high school and their choir was performing songs from the 90s.

By the time David was done, Archie’s eyes stung with the threat of tears and his throat was raw with emotion. He couldn’t even speak when David glanced up at him, as if asking for an opinion.

“So,” David sighed, setting the guitar on the floor beside the bed. “That was that. Amazing how it all just comes back to you the moment your fingers touch the strings.”

“That was...” Archie started with a slight crack in his voice. “Gosh, I’d almost forgotten how much I love hearing you sing.”

David gave him a lighthearted smile. “I wasn’t sure if I could pull it off.”

Another moment of awkward silence passed before Archie spoke again. “Cook?”

“Hmm?”

“Um, why did you pick that song?”

A look of shock passed over David’s face, but disappeared as he shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. It just came to mind and seemed fitting.” He didn’t have time to say more because Archie flung his arms around him and hugged him tightly. Both pleased and surprised, David lifted his arms to wrap around Archie as well. Then he could almost feel the tension leave the younger man’s body as Archie seemed to melt further into him.

They remained that way for several long moments until Archie finally backed off, realizing that it might not have been an appropriate reaction. “I’m, uh, sorry about that.”

“Archie,” David said his name sternly as he grabbed his arm to keep him from pulling too far away.

Archie blinked, forcing himself not to start crying, certain that David was already regretting his decision to invite him over. However, he couldn’t stop the tears when David’s hand gently landed on his cheek and forced him to look up.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” David said as his thumb began rubbing soft circles over Archie’s cheek. “I’m the one who fucked up everything.”

With a firm shake of his head, Archie reached up to wrap his fingers around David’s wrist. “No. You didn’t f—you didn’t mess up anything. It’s not your fault either.”

“I left,” David reminded him.

“And I just let you.”

“I thought it would be easier.”

“I thought you were being stupid.” Archie glanced down, feeling kind of bad for saying that, but it was true. That’s what he had thought. It wasn’t like he understood David’s way of thinking. “I think I get it now though.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” Archie replied. “And I don’t think breaking up—or whatever—was the right thing to do.”

“Yeah. Hindsight,” David said with a huff as he let his hand fall back into his lap.

“I want you to come home.”

“I was a complete ass to you, Archie. What makes you think I won’t continue to be?”

“I’m not expecting you not to be.”

David’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Huh?”

“I love you, and I’m going to be there for you whether you like it or not. I know things won’t be perfect, but I want you with me.”

In the back of his mind, David knew that Archie really had no idea, but just knowing that he was willing stick with him was enough. Cautiously, he moved a bit closer and reached out to cup Archie’s face once more. “I love you, too.”

Archie sighed contentedly as David leaned forward and their lips melded together with ease. Goosebumps popped up all over his skin, his heart raced, and relief flooded him as David continued to kiss him leisurely, taking time to become reacquainted. Archie had almost conceded to the notion that he’d never have this chance again. Never feel the gentleness in David’s fingers as they caressed his face, his neck. Never taste the sweet essence as David’s tongue touched against his own.

A short while later, David turned his head slightly, pulling his mouth away from Archie’s. “I need to tell you something,” he murmured against Archie’s cheek.

“Ok,” Archie reached for David’s hand, sensing the other man’s apprehension as he pulled back a bit. “You can tell me anything.”

“It’s about why I avoided sex.” David felt his stomach roll and dread settled in. He didn’t want to admit his problem to anyone, especially to his lover, but Archie needed to know what was going on. Otherwise, they’d just go back to the way they were. “I know it made you think that I didn’t want you anymore, but that is so far from the truth, Arch.”

Archie gave David’s hand an encouraging squeeze when he struggled with putting his thoughts into words. The pain and uncertainty in David’s eyes broke Archie’s heart. He wished there was a way for him to make everything better.

“I wanted you. I still want you, I just can’t—well, you know—I can’t...” David looked down at their entwined hands as a slight shade of pink colored his cheeks.

It took a moment, but Archie got what he was trying to say. “Oh...” He tried to hide the shock on his face, but he was sure that David noticed. “You could have told me.”

David let out a snort in response. His embarrassment was short lived after getting it out in the open. Now he was just angry again. “Sorry, babe, we can’t have sex because apparently my dick is broken.”

Archie frowned at David’s sarcasm, but he didn’t chastise him for it. The last thing he wanted to do was start an argument. Plus, his mind was filled with so many thoughts he didn’t even know where to begin. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Cook. This happens to a lot of guys.”

“I’m twenty-two. It’s not normal,” David argued. “And, God, it’s so frustrating! I mean not being able to get it up once in a while is one thing, but--shit Archie, I don’t think this is temporary anymore.”

A brief look of sympathy crossed Archie’s face when David turned away from him and dropped his head in his hands. “You know, that doesn’t make a difference in how I feel about you,” he finally said. “I loved you before we had sex and I love you now.”

David glanced over at him and shook his head. “You say that now.”

Archie reached over to put a hand on David’s shoulder. “And I’ll say it fifty years from now.”

“You have a lot of faith in us,” David said as though he’d just realized something amazing about his boyfriend.

“I have complete faith in us,” Archie assured him. “And in Cialis,” he added, playfully jabbing David in the ribs. That remark actually made David laugh, and Archie was glad. However, after their short stint of laughter, the triumphant grin on Archie face soon faded away into a more sober look. “I’m serious, Cook. I love you no matter what.”

“I’m sorry for leaving the way I did.”

“I forgive you. Just don’t do it again. Ok?”

David nodded. “I guess I’m pretty lucky to have you, huh?”

“You have no idea,” Archie said with a smile.

******

Things weren’t perfect in their home even after David moved back, but they were probably as good as they were going to get for a while. The fighting hadn’t stopped, but they handled it better. Archie knew David’s limits and learned how to spot signs of a bad mood before it got out of hand. He was getting good at evading arguments. However, he still worried about his boyfriend, and he still wanted to help. That’s why he began doing some research in his free time.

“What’s that?” David asked from behind Archie sat at kitchen table with his laptop, clicking through pages filled with information on ED and other male health problems.

Quickly, Archie shut his laptop and he turned around giving David a sheepish look. “When did you get home?”

“About ten minutes ago,” David replied, glowering at Archie. “I thought you said that it didn’t matter to you.”

Archie glanced at his closed computer and then back to David. “It doesn’t matter to me,” Archie said, getting up to follow David down the hallway to their bedroom. “But you do!”

David didn’t respond as he began changing out of his uniform. He did, however, sneer as he sat down on the bed to take off his boots.

“Cook, I was just looking for a solution for you and to maybe figure out why you can’t...well, you know.”

“I was thinking about steak for dinner,” David said, ignoring everything that Archie was trying to tell him.

Archie frowned at David. He was great at changing the subject to avoid talking about important things. It still irritated Archie to no end, but if he’d learned anything, it was to refrain from pushing. David’s moods were still very fickle and he didn’t want to start an unnecessary fighting. “We don’t have any steak. I’ll either have to go buy some or we could have hamburgers instead.” Archie hoped David would settle for the hamburgers because he already had a pack thawed and he really didn’t want to go to the grocery store on a Friday evening. It had been a long day for him anyway.

“Fine,” David barked as he got up to go back down the hall towards the bathroom. “Let’s have hamburgers.”

“We could go out,” Archie suggested, although he figured that wasn’t really an option. He threw it out there anyway, just in case having hamburger was going to keep David in a bad mood.

“I’ve had a long day. I just want to shower, eat, and relax. Is that too much to ask?”

“Of course not. I’ll go start dinner.”

So while David was in the shower, Archie went back to the kitchen and began preparing dinner. He put the hamburgers on the griddle and pulled a bag of potato wedges out of the freezer. When he had everything started, he sat back down in front of his laptop. There was no use in being discreet now. David already knew what he was up to.

*****

At dinner, David sat across from Archie, silently eating and trying not to think about the events from earlier. However, he wasn’t being very successful. He wanted to know what Archie had found out and his mind was screaming at him to just ask.

Archie glanced up, somewhat startled by the break in silence when David spoke. “Hmm?”

“I said I’m sorry about my reaction earlier.”

“Oh. It’s no big deal.”

“Did you find out anything interesting?”

“Maybe,” Archie said, picking up his glass to take a drink of water. “Your problem might be a side effect of PTSD.” Archie said it in a nonchalant way, but he could see the change in David’s features. “I printed out some information,” he continued as he reached over to retrieve the stack of papers he’d left laying on his laptop. “You should read it.”

“I don’t have PTSD,” David told Archie with a pointed look as the papers were slid in his direction.

“How do you know?” Archie asked. “You seem to have a lot of the symptoms.”

“I just know, ok?” David pushed the papers back towards Archie. “If I wanted to know more about PTSD, I would have looked it up myself.”

With a sigh, Archie decided to let it go. David was just going to be defensive about it if he pushed any further. Apparently, he needed to find another way to convince David that he needed to see a professional. He just added one final thing before picking his burger up again. “You’re the one who asked what I found out.”

Later that night, while Archie was getting ready for bed, he heard David in the bathroom, grumbling about something and slamming the door on the medicine cabinet. “Cook?” He shouted down the hall. “Everything ok?”

He didn’t get a reply until David came into the bedroom with an angry look on his face. “I’m out of pills.”

“Which ones?” Archie asked, lifting a brow.

David growled as he stripped off his t-shirt. “The pain killers.”

“The ones that Doctor Hawthorne prescribed for your wrist?” Archie asked in alarm. “Shouldn’t you have been out of those weeks ago? Is it still bothering you?”

“No, but they help me sleep, so I got a refill.” David saw the look that crossed Archie’s face and he decided to cut him off before he even got started. “Save it Archie. I don’t need a lecture on drug addiction. I’m not addicted. I know what I’m doing.”

“I’m not going to lecture you. I’m too tired for that right now. However, just so you know, there are medications out there to aid in sleeping disorders. They’re probably safer too.”

“Goodnight, Archie,” David said with a tone of finality as he slipped into their bed.

At around two in the morning, David jerked, his own screaming having waked him. “Holy shit,” he panted, clutching the sheets in his fists when he realized that it was only a dream. It had been a while since he’d had any nightmares or flashbacks. He had attributed it to the meds providing him with dreamless slumber. Now he was certain that it had been the medication keeping the demons away. As he lay there, taking deep breaths, waiting for his heart rate to return to normal, he glanced over at Archie who slept, curled up around his pillow with his back to David.

That’s when it occurred to him that he’d been shouting loud enough to wake himself. So why didn’t Archie wake up? He usually did. David sat up, switched on the light, and leaned over towards his boyfriend. “Archie?”

The younger man didn’t even stir, so David poked him lightly. “Archie?” When that didn’t have any effect, David’s stomach began to knot up with panic. “Archie?” He tried again, louder this time and with a gentle shake. Still nothing.

When Archie did wake up, it was with wide, confused eyes. He couldn’t really say anything because he was too stunned at being awakened by David shaking him rather roughly and screaming at him to wake up. It took Archie another moment to realize that David hadn’t noticed when he woke up and was still trying to rouse him. “Cook!” He hollered. “Oh my gosh, Cook!” His voice rose enough to drown out David’s shouting. “I’m awake! What…” he gasped when David stopped shaking him and stared down at him with wild eyes. “What are you doing?”

What should have been relief washing over David turned out to be pure anger and he jumped up, letting Archie fall back against the bed as he let go of his shoulders. “Christ, Archie! How in the hell can you be such a sound sleeper?”

Archie struggled to set up amidst the pile of tangled blankets. “I… I was exhausted.”

“What if you’d been alone and there was a fire or an intruder or… You could die!”

Archie stared, dumbfounded as he watched his boyfriend pace back and forth next to the bed, obviously in an uproar. “Cook,” he asked in a tone that sounded as equally angry as it did worried. He wasn’t very pleased with the way David had been handling him and the way he was speaking to him wasn’t helping anything. “What is wrong with you?”

David didn’t answer and he didn’t stop pacing. Eventually, he even started biting at his fingernails, a nervous habit that he’d conquered years ago.

Archie wasn’t sure what to do until he saw shimmer of tears in the corner of David’s eyes. He then tossed the blankets to the side and climbed out of bed. “Cook,” he said cautiously as he laid a hand on his shoulder, causing the pacing come to a halt. “Talk to me. Please?”

David stared into Archie’s worried eyes for a moment before he finally shook his head, and choked back the emotion that was threatening to suffocate him. “I can’t get it out of my head.”

“What?” Archie asked, sliding a gentle, soothing hand along David’s neck. “What can’t you get out of your head?”

“We’d been on a mission, taking medical supplies to a nearby village. Our Captain requested that Chris and I go along because we both spoke Pashtu and could talk to the locals.”

Archie felt his heart thumping in his chest when he realized that David was actually going to talk to him about something that had happened while he was overseas. He wasn’t shutting him out this time. Archie gently urged him on, encouraging him to keep talking.

“On the way back to the base, we got hit with an IED.” David’s voice began to waver as he remembered the details. “It wasn’t very clear at first, but now I remember every second following the blast. The ringing in my ears. Then the silence. The pain. I thought of you just before I blacked out.”

Tears threatened to spill from Archie’s eyes and suddenly he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear any more. But he couldn’t stop David from telling him. This is what he’d been begging David to do since he came home. It was the first step in getting him the help he needed. He did, however, pull David over to the bed where they could both sit down.

“When I woke up, there was chaos,” David continued without Archie having to coax him. “My initial thoughts were to find Chris.”

“It’s ok,” Archie soothed, taking hold both of David’s hands when the first few tears finally rolled down his cheeks. “Take your time.”

David seemed like he was on autopilot for the next ten minutes as he told Archie, in great detail, what happened next.

“Oh, baby,” Archie tried to comfort him, but his own voice cracked in betrayal. “This wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could have done.”

David blinked through the tears and choked back a sob as Archie’s arms slid around him and held him in a tight embrace. “I watched him die,” he whispered. “I let him go to sleep.”

Archie rubbed soothing circles on David’s back, and closed his eyes in despair as he heard a heart-wrenching sob followed by words that he could barely understand through uncontrolled weeping.

“And I couldn’t wake him up.”


	13. Chapter Thirteen

A Soldier’s Love  
Chapter 13

David’s issues were much worse than Archie had originally thought. There were the obvious things like anger issues and nightmares that Archie had known about for a while, but David had been hiding so much more from him. How he’d missed some of it was beyond him. It made Archie feel like the worst boyfriend in the world. He should have picked up on things like how jumpy David was or how he sometimes zoned out. That was never something that David did—not in all the years that Archie had known him. That was usually his thing.

The thing that had Archie worried the most was David’s overuse of the painkillers. Archie knew that the medication David was on wasn’t something that usually helped with sleep, unless they were actually relieving pain of some sort, so he started researching again. According to the website that Archie had been visiting frequently, people who suffered from PTSD often experienced unexplained, physical pain. That led him to wonder if maybe David was taking them more often than at night, so he asked. Of course, David denied it at first, but after a while Archie figured out the truth.

“I didn’t lie,” David growled defensively when Archie confronted him.

“Cook, I’ve been watching you for a week. You’ve been popping Motrin every few hours.”

“You never asked me about Motrin. You asked me if I was taking the prescription meds.”

Archie raised an eyebrow. “Really, Cook?”

Exasperated, David slumped into the armchair. “I’m not...”

“You need help,’ Archie stated, unwilling to hear another word of David’s denial. “You can’t do this on your own. I know you think you can, but that’s just because you’re stubborn and too dang proud to admit that you have a problem.”

David’s jaw clenched and he refused to look at Archie. “I can handle it. I can stop taking the pills anytime I want.”

“Oh yeah?” Archie asked, his anger boosting his confidence. “Anytime? Just like that?” He turned with a huff, making a b-line for the bathroom. It wasn't long before he heard David's beating feet out in the hallway.

“Archie?” He heard David yell as he jiggled the locked doorknob, before pounding. “What are you doing, Archie?”

After flushing the toilet, Archie opened the door, taunting David with smug, triumphant look on his face. “Here ya go,” the younger man said as he handed over the bottles he was holding. “Have fun with your withdrawal.”

Dumbfounded, David stared at the empty pill bottles in his hands while Archie headed towards the front door, grabbing his keys along the way.

****

After going for a nice, long run, Archie felt much calmer. He’d been so angry at David for refusing to listen to him and for lying and—well for pretty much everything when he’d stormed out, he didn’t take a second thought about what he’d done. It wasn’t until he was almost home that he finally did.

By the time he let himself into their house, Archie felt really bad about how he’d acted and what he’d done. If David did have a true addiction to the medication, then Archie hadn’t really helped him—not in the right way, at least.

Archie found David in the living room, sitting on the couch, staring at the television, which wasn’t even turned on. “Hey,” Archie murmured as he sat down next to him. Archie wasn’t surprised when he got nothing in response. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” David said with a sigh. “I know I have a problem, Archie. I don’t need a shrink to tell me that.”

“No, but you do need someone to help you heal,” Archie explained in gentle tone. “I know you say you can handle it and that it will go away on its own, but it won’t, Cook. You have to let go of your pride or whatever it is that’s holding you back. You can’t do this on your own. You know I love you baby, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you through this, but you have to help yourself too. I don’t like to see you suffering.”

It took a little bit more convincing, but Archie finally managed to talk David into seeing a doctor. Of course, it wasn’t until mid-February when David transferred into the Reserves that he finally made an appointment.

David was to see a doctor who came highly recommended and specialized in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder among veterans. Even though David told him he didn’t need to, Archie skipped class to go with him to his first visit. He might have listened if David hadn’t asked him to go to begin with. The truth was, Archie knew that David was nervous and if he bailed on him, David might bail on the appointment.

Archie waited patiently in the waiting room while David was in with the doctor. After forty-five minutes of flipping through the various magazines and pamphlets that were scattered about the small sitting area, he began to watch the clock. Finally, at two minutes after three, the office door swung open, drawing his attention. A pretty, brunette woman whom Archie guessed was in her late forties held it open, smiling at David as he exited.

“Remember, David,” She said while handing him two slips of paper. “Lexapro in the morning, and Prazosin about an hour before bed.”

Archie stood up, ready to meet David when the doctor was finished with him. He overheard her tell David that she’d see him in a week and his eyes immediately went to David to see his response. Archie was pleased when David nodded his head, a small smile playing on his lips.

“How did it go?” Archie asked him when they reached the elevator at the end of the hall.

“She’s nice,” David said with a shrug as he leaned against the cushioned back wall of the vacant elevator. “Seems easy enough to talk to.”

“I’m glad that you’re doing this,” Archie told David with a smile before reaching down to give his hand a light squeeze. Even with the therapy, remedial medications, and every ounce of his support, Archie knew that David still had a long way to go.

Archie was very helpful in making sure that David took his medications and he often went with him to his appointments—even if it was just to sit in the waiting room. It gave him time to study and still be there for support if needed.

By summer, Archie as well as anyone else who knew David could see that he was making progress. David talked to Archie more, he apologized for any unnecessary attitude, and in time, he became less reclusive. Eventually, David started to rekindle past friendships. Neal and Andy, though they hadn’t ever really gone anywhere, were the first on his list.

They planned a trip to New York City, which was something that they’d talked about in high school, but never followed through with. Of course, Andy and Neal had already been there with their band, but they indulged David and went along on a sightseeing tour.

While Archie knew that reaching out to the people he’d somewhat abandoned had been part of David’s therapy, he was overjoyed to see him reconnecting with his friends. He had missed the way they all used to hang out.

*****

It was mid November before David truly began to find peace within himself. The sun was just beginning to turn the eastern sky a slight shade of pink one morning when he walked out onto the back porch. For the first time in a while, he felt relaxed and refreshed. He had slept through the night without any sleep aids and had even woken up before Archie or the alarm clock.

He took a deep breath, inhaling the lingering scent of autumn in the air. The temperatures had already begun to drop, but it wasn’t going to be winter for a few more weeks. He smiled, thinking that it was the perfect day for him to start fully moving on with his life—with their life together.

After going back inside, David made his way back to the bedroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to Archie, who was still sleeping. The sight of his boyfriend lying there, sleeping peacefully made his breath catch in his throat, and he took a moment just to look at Archie. Every feeling he’d had since the beginning of their relationship suddenly resurfaced, crashing into him like a tidal wave, as if they were brand new. David could have lost it all, and he would have, had it not been for Archie’s unyielding support and patience.

Ever so gently, David reached out and brushed his knuckles against Archie’s cheek. The younger man stirred, his eye lashes fluttering slightly before a content sigh confirmed that he hadn’t woke up. David smiled as Archie nuzzled against his palm as he cupped his cheek. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

“Hmm?” Archie shifted and slowly opened his eyes. “Cook?” He was surprised to see David staring down at him. “Everything ok?”

“Everything is fine,” David replied, clearing his throat after his voice cracked slightly. “I uh, was just thinking about going for a run. Wanna join me?” He couldn’t help chuckling at the look of confusion and shock on Archie’s face. So it wasn’t his best attempt at a cover up, but it wasn’t exactly a bad one either. In fact, it was somewhat perfect. “Come on; it’ll be like old times. We haven’t worked out together in forever.”

“Mmkay,” Archie yawned. “What time is it?”

“Almost seven.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Since about six.”

“Couldn’t sleep?” Archie asked as he sat up and pushed the covers to the side.

“I slept great,” David replied, giving him a cheeky grin. “I feel awesome right now.”

A slow smile spread over Archie’s lips and he leaned over, placing a kiss on David’s cheek. “You have no idea how happy that makes me,” he said while getting up to grab a pair of running shorts from his dresser.

****

By the time they got back from their run, it was nearing nine o’clock. They’d stopped by the local park for a few minutes to rest and enjoy the nice weather. “Babe,” David called out to Archie as he walked up the steps that lead into the house. “Do you know what today is?”

“Um, Saturday?” Archie asked, raising an eyebrow at David who was in front of him.

David chuckled while fumbling with the lock on the door. “It’s also our anniversary. I can’t believe I remembered and you forgot!”

“I didn’t forget,” Archie defended. “I just didn’t think you would remember.”

“I’ve never forgot,” David informed him. “Last year, I woke up with you on my mind, wishing I could be here to spend our day together.”

Archie heaved a sigh, wondering if David had simply erased the past year from his mind. “Last year you were living on post in Fort Riley.”

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it.” David pushed the door open and let Archie in first. “We should celebrate. Five years is a big deal.”

Archie knew that with David’s progress, it would be inconsiderate and childish of him to remind David that it was his fault they weren’t together on their anniversary the year before, so he stopped himself from saying what was on the tip of his tongue and instead asked, “What did you have in mind?” He glanced over his shoulder at David as he paused in the foyer to kick off his shoes. The morning dew had been thick and Archie didn’t want to track up the clean kitchen floor when he went to get them a bottle of water.

“Let’s go out. Make an evening of it,” David suggested, as he stopped to take his own shoes off before following Archie to the kitchen. “How about dinner and a movie?”

Archie met him in the kitchen doorway and handed him a bottle of water. “Really?”

“Yeah. We haven’t been on a real date since—well since high school.”

Archie grinned remembering the dates that they’d gone on in the beginning. “So this is you asking me out on a date?” He inquired playfully before taking a long swig of water.

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is.” David gave him an impish grin. “What do you say?”

Archie smirked as he put the cap back on his bottle of water. “I say that I would be an idiot to pass up a free meal and movie.” David laughed heartily, and it was music to Archie’s ears. It had been entirely too long since he’d heard a laugh that genuine come from his boyfriend. It gave him renewed hope. After a moment of just staring dumbly at David, Archie finally pulled himself from his thoughts and moved to give David a quick peck on the lips. “I’m going to go take a shower. Then I’ll make us some breakfast before I leave for work.”

David simply nodded and flashed another smile as Archie turned to head down the hallway.

*****

“You’re looking all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed today,” Jackie said when she noticed the extra skip in Archie’s step as he bounced around the locker room.

“I’m in a good mood,” Archie told her with a bright smile. He’d been gathering his things to leave, but stopped to chat with his friend who was just coming in for her shift.

“Oh…” Jackie narrowed her eyes and studied her friend. “Things are better, I’m assuming.”

“Today is our official anniversary. Cook decided to take me out to dinner and a movie.”

“Oh, romantic,” she teased.

Archie laughed. “At the rate we’ve been going, eating peanut butter crackers together in front of the TV would have been romantic to me.”

“Oh you poor boy,” Jackie empathized. “You should probably get out of here. I don’t want you to miss out on another second of that.” She pointed towards the door. “Go! Get out of here. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Archie had no problem obeying those orders. He grabbed his jacket and keys before saying goodbye to Jackie and then went on his way.

The drive home, even though it only took twenty-five minutes including a stop by the local grocers, was much too long for Archie’s liking. He couldn’t help feeling extremely energized. Just the fact that they were going out—as a couple—was giving him hope. Maybe they could rekindle some of the fire they’d once had in their relationship.

When he arrived at their house, David was getting out of the shower. Archie greeted him with a short “hello” and a quick kiss when they met in the hallway. “So where are we going?” he asked, already stripping out of his work clothes as they walked towards the bedroom.

“I made reservations at Timberline.”

“Really?” Archie eyed David as he dug around in a dresser drawer. Timberline was more of a swanky restaurant and he hadn’t really been expecting something like that.

“Yeah. We’re celebrating. Why not go all out?”

“And the movie?”

“I thought we could decide when we get there. That ok?”

Archie assured him it was and then headed toward the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for their date.

*****

The night turned out just the way Archie had hoped. The two men had an amazing dinner and then walked from the restaurant to the movie theater. It gave them some time to talk. Archie enjoyed how easy it was to talk with David about mundane things again. It was a lot like it had been when they were younger except the things they talked about were no longer football and show choir.

After the movie, they walked back to the car and David drove them home. The conversation remained light and a few minutes into the ride, David’s hand found Archie’s. The smile on Archie’s face broadened as David gave his hand a light squeeze.

“Did you have fun tonight?” David asked once they were home.

“Are you kidding?” Archie questioned in return. “Tonight was the best.”

David chuckled as he ushered Archie through the open door. “You say that like it’s over.”

“It’s not?” Archie watched David lock the door and toss his keys into the bowl they kept on the stand.

“Nah.” David stepped closer to Archie and slid his arms around his waist. “I got you a little something.”

Archie grinned, glad that he’d decided to make that stop on the way home from work. “I got you something too.”

One of David’s brows arched in interest. “Meet back in the living room in five?”

“Ok,” Archie agreed. He started to leave, but David pulled him back for a quick peck on the lips, which made Archie giggle. He wasn’t quite used to this side of David—at least not anymore. It had been so long since he’d seen it, he’d almost forgot that it existed.

Less than five minutes later, Archie went back to the living room, holding on to a tall, slender gift bag and a card. David was already sitting on the couch waiting, so Archie sat down next to him, placing the bag on the floor next to his foot. He wasn’t given a chance to speak because David handed over a small brown box with a gold ribbon tied around it. Archie immediately recognized the packaging. “Are those?” He asked with an excited smile. Usually, he wasn’t one to eat a lot of junk food, but he did have quite a sweet tooth when it came to chocolate truffles from his favorite gourmet cookie shop in Kansas City. “When did you?”

“This afternoon,” David told him, unable to keep the triumphant smile off his face as Archie thanked him.

Archie then read the card attached before lifting the lid off the box of chocolates. “You know,” Archie said, reaching down to pick up the gift bag. “I think these will go perfect with what I got you.”

David took the bag when Archie handed it to him and peeked inside. “Pinot Noir!” He exclaimed as he pulled the bottle from the bag. “Does this mean you’ll be having some with me?” David knew Archie never drank, but there was a first time for everything.

Archie looked at the bottle and then at David. The look on his face was hopeful, and Archie couldn’t really come up with a reason not to share a bit of wine with his boyfriend. “I’ll try some.”

“Seriously?” David asked, rather surprised by Archie’s answer. “Great! I’ll go get the glasses.”

“Wait!” Archie laughed, grabbing onto David’s arm to stop him from getting up. When David looked at him, questioning why, Archie handed him the card that he’d picked up along with the wine.

“Oh.” David settled back into his seat to open the light blue envelope on which Archie had neatly written his name. He read the sentiments on the front and then the hand written message inside. By the time he was done, Archie could tell that David was on the verge of tears. “Thank you, baby,” David murmured.

Archie only smiled, not wanting to ruin the moment with unnecessary words. He reached for the bottle of wine that David had left lying on his lap. “So, how about we pop the cork on this?”

While David was in the kitchen, Archie tossed a piece of chocolate into his mouth and started pealing the foil from around the top of the bottle. “Don’t forget the corkscrew,” he yelled, glancing over his shoulder towards the kitchen.

David returned a few minutes later with two glasses and the corkscrew. “Sucker was hiding.”

“It hasn’t been used in forever,” Archie told him as they exchanged the glasses for the bottle. “In fact, I think the last time it was used was the day we got it.”

“Wasn’t it a housewarming gift?” David gave Archie a mischievous look as the cork popped loose.

“Yeah, that was my point,” Archie said with a laugh while holding up both glasses for David to fill. Once the glasses were half-full and the bottle was set to the side, David settled back down on the couch next to Archie who handed him his glass before placing the box of chocolates between them. “Should we make a toast?” Archie eyed the dark liquid swirling around in his glass.

Not for the first time that day, David noticed the happiness laced in Archie’s voice. He hadn’t been sure he’d ever hear that again, let alone be responsible for it. He couldn’t be more thankful. Archie could have given up on him; given into his refusal to be happy, but he didn’t. Had it been anyone else, David may have been left to face his demons alone. He would have been lost without Archie. “To us,” David said, finally shaking his thoughts. “To love, new beginnings, and to our future. May it be a long and joyous journey.”

Archie blinked. He’d been joking about the toast, but David’s short speech was perfect and real. “Um, to us,” he finally said as he lifted his glass to clink against David’s. He took a sip of the wine and was completely surprised by the taste. “Mmm,” he murmured. “Fruity.”

David chuckled, nodding his head in agreement as he reached for a piece of chocolate. “I can’t believe you’re actually trying it.”

Archie shrugged. “Why not?”

A half a box of chocolate and a bottle of wine later, Archie leaned his head against David’s shoulder and cuddled closer. “I feel so giddy right now.”

“It’s the wine, babe. You had nearly half the bottle.”

“Hmm,” Archie sighed, feeling completely content. “That might be part of it, but I’ve felt like this all day to be honest.”

When David turned his head, Archie was staring up at him, his eyes shining brightly. “Me too.”

“Thank you,” Archie whispered, “for a wonderful evening.” He lifted his head and watched as David took his near empty glass and set it, along with his own and what was left of the chocolate, on the coffee table.

“You know what this feels like to me?” David asked, leaning back in his spot, but turning to face Archie. “This feels like a first date.”

Archie laughed, reaching over to run his fingers absently through David’s hair. “Yeah, I guess it kinda does.”

“Nerves and all.”

“Aw! Why are you nervous?”

David didn’t reply, but he did move a little closer and pulled Archie in for a kiss. Archie made a content noise and let David’s mouth claim his. Just like everything else, it felt like the first time. Archie’s heart thumped in his chest, excited by how careful and attentive David was being.

Time passed slowly and Archie found himself slipping into his boyfriend’s lap. He wrapped his arms around David’s neck at the same time David’s arms wound around his waist. Archie finally drew back, tugging slightly on David’s lower lip as the other man’s fingers dug into his sides. “Cook,” he sighed, realizing that was the first time that they’d kissed—really kissed—in a long time.

“I’ve missed this,” David admitted, his eyes meeting Archie’s hazel ones. “I’m so sorry that…” He was silenced by Archie pressing a gentle finger to his kiss-swollen lips.

“Don’t apologize. We’re done with that,” Archie told him, his forehead resting against David’s. “All that matters is the here and now.”

David didn’t argue. He didn’t need to because he knew that Archie was right. What happened in the past was no longer relevant. They both needed to focus on the future. That’s what he’d been striving for in therapy.

“I love you,” David whispered.

Archie smiled, his heart filled with joy. He returned the whispered sentiments as he tilted his head to capture David’s lips again.

“Mmm…” David growled as Archie’s tongue pried his lips apart. His fingers grasped Archie’s shirt, twisting the thin material in his fists as their tongues began a familiar dance.

Their kiss went on for a long while, both of them taking their time until the need for air became too much. “Fuck,” David murmured as he finally broke away, letting his head fall onto the back of the sofa.

He inhaled deeply, his eyes fluttering shut as Archie’s mouth moved along his jaw.  
Archie sucked and nipped lightly along David’s neck until he reached his shoulder. As he nibbled on David’s collarbone, his hands moved anxiously from his shoulders to his chest where he felt the ripple of hard muscle beneath his fingertips.

“Baby,” David sighed heavily as he grabbed Archie’s wrist. His protest, however, died on his lips when Archie rose up to look at him. The younger man’s eyes were dark pools that rendered David speechless. His grip on Archie’s wrist relaxed and Archie smiled knowingly.

“Just go with it,” Archie encouraged before reaching for the hem of his own shirt.

David squirmed a little when Archie pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it aside. He’d spent so much time avoiding any kind of intimacy with his boyfriend that he’d almost stopped paying attention to how incredibly sexy he was. He was paying attention now though. David felt his body react almost immediately. “Shit…”

Archie grinned, grabbing David’s face with both hands as he went in for another, heated kiss. He was pleasantly surprised when David’s larger hands landed on the small of his back and pulled him closer.

It didn’t take long after that for Archie’s hands to find their way back to David’s chest, searching blindly for the top button of his shirt. Archie pulled impatiently at each button as he found it; popping them open to expose inch after inch of pale skin, sparsely covered in light brown hair. Groaning with uncontrolled desire, Archie pressed his palms against David’s abdomen, loving the way the muscles quivered under his touch.

At the same time that Archie’s fingers were dancing over David’s upper body, David’s hands were finding their way down the back of Archie’s loose-fitting jeans. An unexpected squeeze made Archie gasp and thrust his hips forward into David.

“Oh my gosh,” Archie breathed, breaking away from David’s lips as he felt the unmistakable bulge in David’s pants.

David chuckled at the reaction until Archie growled and once again attacked David’s neck with his mouth and reached down to get a better feel.

“Oh, Jesus…” David moaned with a soft grunt as Archie’s hand pressed into him.

Archie couldn’t help the low, excited laughter that escaped as he continued to plant kisses over the side of David’s neck. He paused to suck on David’s earlobe as he shifted a bit to give his hands room to work on getting David’s fly undone.

“Archie,” David murmured just as Archie’s mouth found his again. “Mmm, babe… I don’t know if…”

“Shh…,” Archie interrupted, his breath ghosting across David’s cheek as his hand finally slipped behind rough denim. “Don’t think about it.”

David shuddered and closed his eyes, giving in as Archie’s hand closed around him. After all, he saw no need for argument.

Archie rested his head on David’s shoulder, watching his own hand move over David’s steadily growing erection. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, smiling when David moaned, and he felt a twitch against his palm. “You like that, baby?” Archie asked, turning his head to press his lips to David’s neck. “Do you want me to…”

David’s eyes flew open at the lewd suggestion whispered in his ear. Archie was staring at him, looking like innocence personified, and awaiting an answer.

He didn’t have to wait long because a second later David was standing, and Archie was throwing his arms around his boyfriend’s neck to keep from falling.

Once they reached the bedroom, David sat down on the edge of the bed with Archie still astride his lap. “God, baby, I need this,” he growled just before their lips crashed together once more, and Archie pushed him back onto the mattress.

In the following moments, Archie worked his way down David’s body, taking immense pleasure in sliding his tongue along each defined contour. There was never a time when Archie didn’t find his lover’s body to be gorgeous and sexy, but since the military, it was incredible. It almost seemed like it had been an eternity since he’d last been given the chance to enjoy it, and he wanted to take his time.

When Archie finally reached David’s stomach, he dropped to the floor settling on his knees between his boyfriend’s legs. Both hands tugged roughly at David’s jeans until he was able to get them off.

Then David sat up, bracing himself on his elbows to watch as Archie trailed kisses up the insides of his thighs. Part of him wanted to drag his younger lover up so he could hurry things along, but the other part of him wanted this night to last forever; to enjoy the feeling of Archie’s hands and mouth on him.

“Aw, fuck.” David nearly whined when Archie’s mouth finally reached the place where David wanted it most.

Satisfaction settled over Archie almost immediately, and he too, moaned in delight. He’d wanted this so badly for so long; he was almost in disbelief that it was finally happening.

Eventually, one of David’s hands found its way into Archie’s hair while the other curled tightly in the dark blue comforter. “Yes,” he moaned softly. “That’s so good, baby…”

Archie glanced up to see David’s head thrown back; his eyes closed and mouth agape. The sight caught him a little by surprise, and he couldn’t resist reaching down to sooth the aching behind his own jeans that now felt three sizes too small.

“Archie…” David’s words came in short breaths as he tried to gently push Archie’s mouth away. “Shit, Baby, I’m gonna blow if you don’t stop.”

Archie furrowed his brow as David’s hands grabbed his arms and pulled him up. His confusion was obvious when Archie became face to face with his boyfriend.

“So not the way I want this to end,” David growled before reaching for the waistband of Archie’s jeans.

Gasping, Archie grabbed onto David’s shoulders to balance himself as David’s hands moved to his butt, pushing his pants down. Then he slouched forward with a startled moan as David’s finger found his entrance. “Oh, Cook, yes…”

Archie managed to kick his pants to the side and reached for the drawer on the nightstand while David finished removing his shirt. Then David, who had lain back down, immediately pulled Archie down on top of him.

“I want you so bad,” David whispered when their eyes met just seconds before Archie’s lips crashed against his. David used that time to find the bottle of lube that Archie had got out of the drawer moments earlier.

“Ugh…” Archie moaned, breaking their kiss when he felt the slick slide of David’s finger on him again.

David smiled and continued prodding at the tight pucker until Archie relaxed with a low groan and let him slide in.

Archie buried his face in the crook of David’s neck and whined in delight as David took his time working three thick fingers into him. The whole time, Archie wanted to scream at him to hurry, but he knew that the way David was doing it was for the best. “Mm…that feels so good, Cook,” he murmured against David’s ear.

David turned his head, needing to kiss his lover once more while pulling his fingers away and searching blindly for the condom that had been dropped on the bed. Once he’d rolled the condom on and applied more lube, he reached for Archie’s hips. “Ready, baby?”

Archie rose up, looking into David’s eyes as he moved back just slightly, until he felt the tip of David’s erection against him.

Holding on to Archie’s hip with one hand and his own length with the other, David watched intently as Archie slowly lowered himself. His lover’s eyes closed and his mouth fell open with a soft, but content moan. The sight was so beautiful that David could barely tear his eyes away, even when he felt himself become completely sheathed in the tight warmth.

With his palms resting flat on David’s chest, Archie slowly exhaled the breath that he’d been holding and opened his eyes. His eyes locked with David’s and a lazy smiled formed on his lips.

“God, you are so fucking beautiful,” David murmured, his eyes following the instant wave of crimson that flushed Archie’s cheeks and spread all the way down his neck. Gently, David ran his hands up Archie’s sides. “I love you.”

Archie leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against David’s lips. “I love you, too.” He grinned and nipped at his boyfriend’s chin as David’s hands began to wander down his back, gliding along his spine and coming to rest on his butt.

“I need you to move now, Baby,” David explained as he gently gave Archie’s backside a little lift.

****

It was nearly ten AM when Archie woke up. Almost immediately, a smile formed on his lips as the memories from the night before resurfaced. He was sure that if anyone saw him at that moment, they would say he was glowing.

David was lying next to him—or more accurately beneath him—with one arm thrown over Archie’s pillow that Archie was certain he hadn’t used one time that night. His other arm rested across his own stomach with his hand loosely gripping the arm Archie had draped over David’s middle.

Archie lay there, just watching him sleep and replaying the entire day before over and over in his mind. He was having a hard time believing it actually happened, but the proof was in his slightly aching muscles and the crisp bruise on David’s collarbone.

He thought about getting up and making breakfast, but he just have one bit of desire to leave David’s side. Not even for food. So he just stayed put, leisurely gliding his fingers over David’s chest. Eventually, he felt David stir and looked up to see David’s sleepy eyes staring back at him. “Hey,” he said with a shy grin.

The corner of David’s lips curled up into that quirky, little half-smile that made Archie’s heart race. “Hey.”

“How’d you sleep?” Archie knew it was a crazy question to ask considering he knew that David had slept peacefully all night long—at least for the parts of the night that they’d actually slept.

“Never better,” David replied.

“Mm… I don’t want to move from this spot,” Archie said while pressing his face into David’s chest.

David glanced at the clock on the stand behind Archie. “What time do you have to work?”

“Two.” Archie groaned at the reminder and even contemplated calling in sick.

“We still have plenty of time then,” David told him.

“Time for what?” Archie lifted his head to look at David who was smiling down at him with a devilish grin on his face.

“Time to not move from this spot,” David replied with a light chuckle as he shifted to burrow deeper under the covers with Archie.

A content smile formed on Archie’s face and he snuggled even closer to David. “I love you, Cook.”

“I’ve fallen in love twice in my life,” David said after a moment while absently running his fingers through Archie’s dark hair. “The first time I was still in high school,” he continued as he locked eyes with Archie. “The second time was just last night.”


	14. Chapter Fourteen

A Soldier’s Love  
Chapter 14

Archie sat in the garage at his piano, idly tapping at the keys. Since he'd graduated, he didn’t really have anything to occupy his free time with and he found himself dawdling in there a lot when David was gone. However, he wasn’t concentrating very well on the music with the news he’d received earlier in the day weighing heavily on his mind. He was so deep in thought when David joined him, he didn’t even hear the door open and close.

“Hey,” David said, startling Archie when he plopped down on the bench next to him.

“Hey! I didn’t hear you come home. How was your trip?”

“It was fine. Mom sent some cookies and candy; she’s been making things for the church’s bake sale again. Did you have a good day?”

“It was kind of boring after work. I got a phone call from the principal at Blue Springs South though.” Archie had an interview with the school a little over five days earlier, one of several that he’d had with schools between Blue Springs and Topeka.

“Really?” David asked, sitting up a little straighter, his interest clear. “What did he have to say?”

“He offered me an internship for the upcoming term, and if it goes well I could take Miss Valens' place next year. Apparently she’s getting married next summer and moving to Nebraska.”

“No shit!” David exclaimed, sounding as though he’d received the offer, but then he noticed the way the smile on Archie’s face didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Wait… Why aren’t you excited about this?”

“I don’t know,” Archie replied. It wasn’t exactly that he wasn’t excited about the opportunity, because he was. He just had some reservations. “It’s in Blue Springs,” he grimaced, “I guess I was hoping to hear from one a little closer first. I’ll be traveling a lot if I accept the internship.”

“Oh. Well, you drove back and forth for the first two years of college. What’s the difference?”

“School was a couple of days a week. This would be five days straight,” Archie explained with a sigh. “It’s not only that though.”

David had somehow sensed that traveling wasn’t the only thing causing Archie’s stress, but he’d decided not to question it. He’d known that Archie would tell him if there was more. Archie wasn't like him, he was an open book. “So what else is it?” David asked while placing a comforting hand on the small of Archie’s back.

“What if I’m a terrible teacher?”

The absurdity of that question almost made David laugh, but he only gave Archie an incredulous stare. “Babe, there is no way you could suck at teaching. Once you complete the internship, they’ll be dying to hire you.”

“You obviously have more confidence in me than I do.”

“Well, that’s kind of like—my job.” David grinned before reaching up to change the sheet music. “You’ll be a wonderful teacher, Archie. I have no doubt about it.”

“How do you know?" Archie inquired, but David ignored him and began playing the piano. Archie watched, his heart filling with pride, as David flawlessly played the entire piece. Smiling, he nudged David once the music ended.

“I know you’ll be a great teacher because you are my teacher, and you’re the best teacher I’ve ever had.”

Archie rolled his eyes at David’s explanation and got up to stand between David and the piano. “I think,” he began as he put his hands on David’s shoulders and moved to sit astride his lap, “that there is more to being a teacher than teaching my already amazingly talented boyfriend how to play the piano.” He had to smile at the way David wrinkled his nose and shook his head at that suggestion. “You did an awesome job, by the way.”

“I owe it all to you,” David said as he slipped his arms around Archie’s waist and held him close. “So Miss Valens is leaving huh? We should do something special for her. You know, to say thanks.”

“Like what?” Archie asked, his mind already searching for an idea.

“I don’t know. It is almost as if she’s the reason we’re here right now. I feel like we should show her our appreciation.”

Archie smiled, knowing that David was right. If it hadn’t been for her willingness to go along with David’s idea back then, they might not have had a reason to get to know each other better. They might not have taken the paths that they did. Of course, it was hard for Archie to imagine them not ending up together anyway. He was still thinking about it when David spoke again.

“Maybe it’s time to go home.’

“Hmm?” Archie asked, directing his attention back to David.

“Topeka was never a permanent thing and our lease is up in a month. Maybe we should think about moving back. Finally buy a place of our own.”

“Are you serious?” Archie asked, leaning back slightly to look at his boyfriend. “What about your job?”

“I’m a bartender, Arch.”

“But you like it!”

“I do, but it’s not something I plan on doing for the rest of my life.” David slid his hands absently along Archie’s sides as he thought of a way to tell Archie what he’d been thinking about. While he was in Blue Springs earlier that day, he’d noticed a sign on the local post office’s bulletin board and it sparked his interest. “I feel like I need to do something meaningful.”

“Keeping drunk people drunk isn’t meaningful?” Archie asked, tone light and teasing.

David glared playfully at his boyfriend and stuck out his tongue, which made Archie crack up. “Seriously though,” David continued once Archie’s laughter had settled. “Kansas City’s Fire Department is hosting a class through the University’s Fire and Rescue Institute. Registration is opening soon.”

“Fire school?” Archie asked, wondering where in the world that idea had come from.

“Yeah. I saw an advertisement today and I started thinking about it, and now with you getting this offer from Blue Springs, it seems like it could be a possibility. It pays well and I would be doing something that…”

“Could potentially get you killed,” Archie finished for him.

David stared into Archie’s eyes, finding it difficult to argue. “That’s not what I was going to say.”

Archie furrowed his brow. “I know. It’s just what I was thinking. What is it with you and dangerous jobs?” That of course made David laugh which only irritated Archie further. “Don’t laugh at me. I’m going to look eighty before I’m thirty, and it will be entirely your fault for making me worry so much.”

David rolled his eyes at that. Sometimes Archie was a little too dramatic. “You won’t look eighteen let alone eighty,” David argued. “Besides, it’s only an idea right now.”

“You would look really cute in firefighters’ gear,” Archie told him with a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

“Cute?”

Archie’s smile broadened. “Ok… you would look totally hot.”

They both laughed and shared a short kiss before Archie got up and made David go with him to the living room where they could talk more comfortably. As they settled on the couch, Archie asked, “So if we were to move, would you continue with therapy?” David was still seeing his therapist and if Archie even thought that moving might put a kink in that routine; he would nix the idea before it went any further.

“I’m only going twice a month now. She told me that she’s going to consider cutting it back to once a month soon. I should be able to keep up with that.”

“Good because you’ve come too far to even think about quitting.”

“I know. That wasn’t even an option, believe it or not.” David laid back against the armrest and threw his legs over Archie’s lap. “I’m not sure I’m ready.”

Archie nodded, wondering if something like becoming a firefighter would make him stronger or cause him to have a relapse.

“What do you think?” David asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Well… I’m not exactly sure,” Archie replied honestly. “Part of me loves the idea of you out there saving lives and being a hero, but the other part of me is a lot more selfish.”

“I won’t do it if you don’t want me to,” David said, looking at Archie with sincerity in his eyes. After everything that they’d gone through, he could certainly understand Archie’s hesitance.

Archie shook his head as he leaned back into the cushions. “I’m not going to tell you not to do it, Cook. If it’s what you want then I’ll support you one hundred percent.”

“You’re amazing, you know that?” David smiled fondly. “It’s exactly why you are going to make one hell of a teacher.”

*****

Within the next week, they began looking for a house in or near Blue Springs. Archie enjoyed having David there to look at the places with him. It was much more fun than looking at places by himself or with Beth. The house they finally decided on was a small three bedroom, two bathroom, split-level located relatively close to both their parents. Archie and David had fallen in love with it the first time they saw it. It had such a homey feel to it, not to mention a large back yard and enough space in the living room for the baby grand.

After they closed on the new house, they spent a couple of weeks moving from the house in Topeka to the house in Blue Springs. Once they were done moving, David registered for the fire program through the KCFD. The classes started around the same time Archie’s internship with the school did, so they were able to spend the last part of the summer getting settled in.

Usually they talked about their days over dinner or in bed because Archie was busy writing up lesson plans for Music Theory or grading papers while David poured over his textbooks. Just as Archie had known he would, David loved his training. That was surprisingly enough to help Archie put his doubts on the back burner. At least David was happy with what he was doing and that’s really all Archie was worried about.

One Friday afternoon, Archie got home after an early dismissal and decided to get a head start on lesson plans for the next week. A couple of hours later, he smiled and set the half-empty glass that he’d been drinking out of onto the end table when he heard David come in the front door. He smelled a whiff of smoke even before his boyfriend leaned over the back of the couch to say hello. “Smoke chamber again?”

“How’d you guess?” David asked, his beard tickling Archie’s cheek as he gave him a quick kiss.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Archie said with a grin while he kept writing on the note pad in his lap. He didn’t have to look to know that David’s arms, face, and even his fitted white tee were smeared with ash and soot. “You smell like a bouquet of roses.”

David chuckled as he looked down at the notepad and planner that Archie was working with. “You almost done?”

“Just finishing up. Why?”

“I was just thinking about taking a nice, long shower.”

Archie started to ask what that had to do with him, but before he could, he felt David’s mouth against his neck. Archie closed his eyes and leaned back slightly as David’s hands gripped his shoulders and squeezed gently. After a moment, he turned his head to allow David’s mouth cover his in a slow, fervent kiss.

“What do you say?” David asked a moment later, his eyes sparkling with anticipation.

Archie didn’t answer. He only moved, letting the things in his lap slide to the side as he got to his knees and turned to throw his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. As their mouths fused together once again, David’s strong arms wound around Archie and he lifted him up without much effort. Archie broke their kiss with laugh, holding on for dear life while instinctively wrapping his legs around his lover’s hips. “Please, don’t drop me.”

David scoffed as he turned around, hauling Archie towards their bathroom. “Gimme a little credit, babe. It takes more muscle to roll a hose than it does to carry you.”

“Show off,” Archie accused.

*****

As the months rolled on, they fell into a new routine. David finished his training and found employment with a company in Kansas City. Despite the long hours he sometimes had to pull, he enjoyed his new job. Archie also settled in nicely. His internship was going extremely well, and he was finally certain that teaching music was what he wanted to do. Miss Valens pretty much let him handle everything, and just approved everything for him. She constantly told him how much she appreciated having him around because it gave her time to properly plan her wedding.

Before they knew it, a full year had passed and neither of them could have imagined a better domestic life than what they were finally getting to live. It exceeded everything that they’d ever expected.

One sunny summer afternoon, David stood at the mailbox, flipping through the small stack of mail that he’d just pulled from inside the box. One envelope in particular caught his eye and he pulled it from the pile. He was studying the unopened letter in his hand when he heard the front door open. He glanced up to see Archie stepping out, keys in hand. David quickly stuffed the envelope into his back pocket and went about sorting through the rest of the mail as he walked back towards the house.

“Anything important?” Archie asked as he opened the door to his car.

“Um, nothing really. The electric bill came,” David replied, holding up the utility bill. “Other than that... oh, this is yours.”

Archie reached for the magazine that David was handing him. “I’m going over to Mom’s for a little while. You want to go?”

“Nah, not this time. I think I’m going to get some things done around here; maybe see if I can fix that sink in the guest bathroom. Tell her hello for me though.”

Archie slid into the driver’s seat and looked back at David who was now standing next to the vehicle, getting ready to shut the door. “Ok. I’ll be back in an hour or so. Want me to pick up something for dinner?”

“How about we fire up the grill?”

“Sounds good.” Archie grinned as David leaned in to give him a light peck on the lips.

“Drive safely. I’ll see you later.”

David watched Archie pull out of the driveway and head down the street before he turned to walk up to the front door. As he stepped inside, he tossed the stack of mail onto the stand next to the door before reaching into his pocket for the mail he’d put there.

*****

By the time Archie got back home, David had already made a large garden salad and had steaks and potatoes cooking on the grill. Archie offered to help, but David waved him off. So Archie did the next best thing and set their patio table, complete with two long stem candles and a bottle of wine.

When David saw what he’d done, he smiled. “Oh, romantic.”

“I thought it would be nice,” Archie defended as he blew out the match with which he’d lit the candles. “Besides, what’s a more perfect time than now to break out this bottle of wine that’s been setting in the pantry since we moved in.”

David shrugged and went about picking up Archie’s plate from the table and filling it with food from the grill. “You wanna grab the salad dressing and steak sauce from the fridge?”

Archie nodded and went back inside. When he returned, David was putting salad on their plates. So he went ahead and sat down in his chair, setting the things he’d brought from the refrigerator on the table. “I brought some cheddar cheese and croutons too.”

“Oh yeah! Glad you thought about that.” David finished filling their plates and sat down as well. “Eat up!”

A while later, after a lot of laughter and chattering, Archie leaned back in his chair with a content sigh. “Oh my gosh, that was so good.”

David smiled, pleased that his cooking was a hit. “Glad you enjoyed it. There’s more on the grill if you want it.”

Archie shook his head. There was no way he could eat another bite even if he wanted to. “We should do this at least once a week.”

“What? Grill out?” David asked while he stood up to begin gathering their dishes.

“Not necessarily. Just eating outdoors. It’s refreshing.” Archie told David before he stood up to help.

“Speaking of refreshing,” David said. “Do you have any major commitments this weekend?”

Archie couldn’t think of anything off the top, so he shook his head. “Nothing that I can think of. Why?”

David shrugged his shoulders as he opened the sliding glass door, balancing a stack of tableware in one hand. He waited for Archie to go through the door with the leftovers before going in himself. “You wanna go to the lake? I talked to Neal earlier today and he said it’s ok if we use the cabin.”

“Wow, that’s kind of spur of the moment. What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion. I just thought it would be nice to get away.” David busied himself with unloading his armful of dishes into the sink. “Just you and me, ya know, before school starts again. We haven’t really done anything special all summer.”

“I think I like the sound of this plan. When are we leaving?”

“Is Friday ok?” David asked, turning around to lean back against the sink as Archie’s arms snaked around his waist.

“Don’t you have to work?”

“I’ve already got the days off. Captain gave me the ok earlier today.” David noticed the way Archie’s eyebrows furrowed, likely because that was something they usually shared. “I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take the days.”

Although Archie didn’t fully believe David, he didn’t have time to question him, because his phone went off just as he was about to tell David that he knew there was more to it than he was saying. “Sorry, it’s Claudia,” Archie said as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket.

David took that as a cue to turn around and start rinsing the dishes he’d brought in. He smiled to himself when he heard Archie’s voice rise in excitement as he started talking to his older sister. He was thankful for the distraction. He knew if Archie had actually questioned him, he’d have broken and told Archie the real reason he wanted them to take a weekend vacation.

David had just finished loading the dishwasher when Archie bounded back into the kitchen, practically glowing with excitement. “Guess what!”

Lifting a curious brow, David grabbed a dishtowel to dry his hands while turning to Archie. “I don’t know, but it must be really good news. You’re almost glowing!”

“I’m going to be an uncle! Finally! Claudia found out this morning.”

“What? That’s fantastic!”

“Yeah. They’ve been trying for a while now,” Archie explained, as he opened the refrigerator door to put some leftovers on the shelf. “I think I’m as excited as my sister! I’m already thinking about getting to hold the baby.”

David smiled at Archie remembering the discussions they had about children. “When is she due?”

“Not until April,” Archie replied with a frown.

“Well, it’s something for you to look forward to at least. School will almost be out by then and you’ll have the whole summer to spoil him or her rotten.”

“And you’re going to help me, right?” Archie asked as he was going back out the door to bring in some more dishes. When he came back in, he set the dishes on the counter next to the sink and gave David a questioning look. “Right?”

“Of course!” David exclaimed. “We can consider it practice.”

“Practice?” Archie asked, resting his hip against the counter as his eyes met with David’s. He knew exactly where his own mind was, but he wanted to make sure that David’s was in the same place.

“Yeah, you know,” David grinned, his voice light and playful. “For when we have our own little bundles.” He hadn’t anticipated Archie’s eyes to light up quite like they did and he was a little staggered by it.

“What?” Archie asked after a moment of David staring at him.

“You,” David said, reaching out to brush his fingers along Archie’s cheek. “You just keep getting more and more beautiful.” Archie’s cheeks reddened almost immediately and his eyelashes fluttered as he looked away. “Babe,” David said with a smile as he guided Archie’s eyes back to him. “I’m serious. Sometimes I look at you, and I forget how to breathe.”

“You know, you’re not exactly an eyesore or anything,” Archie said, trying to turn the attention off of himself. “We haven’t talked about kids in a while,” Archie said. “I wasn’t sure if you still felt the same.”

“Of course I still feel the same.” On cue, David’s mind went back to the last time he’d spoke about raising children. It had been the same day Chris was killed. Unlike the times before when he thought of Chris, he didn’t feel the anger and self-blame that had once haunted him. The weight had finally been lifted, it seemed. David smiled at the memory of his friend telling him that he wanted to be the godfather of their kids. “Having a family with you is the one thing in life I know for certain that I want.”

Archie smiled. “I’m glad, because that’s what I want too.”

*****

It was late in the evening and the sun was beginning to set, casting an iridescent reflection on the lake’s surface. David leaned against the doorframe of the lake house, just watching Archie for a few moments as he sat on the edge of the fishing dock. He looked so content, dangling his feet in the cool water and enjoying the calm serenity that the lake provided.

After a while, Archie seemed to sense David’s gaze and turned his head to look back at the house. He smiled, seeing David standing in the doorway wearing a pair of khaki cargo shorts and nothing else. If it were possible, Archie thought he looked more gorgeous than the last time he’d seen him and that had only been about twenty minutes earlier when they were playing guitar hero. “Are you planning on standing there all evening or what?” Archie hollered, motioning for David to join him.

Chuckling lightly, David pushed away from the door and made his way down to the dock where Archie sat. He settled down behind Archie, pulling him back against his chest and resting his own chin on Archie’s shoulder. “It’s so peaceful here,” he whispered while rubbing his bare foot along Archie’s calf just below his rolled up pant leg.

“It is,” Archie agreed, leaning back a little bit and tilting his head to the side when he felt David’s soft lips against his neck.

“I love you,” David said, as he nuzzled his face against Archie’s neck, inhaling his boyfriend’s scent.

Archie turned his head slightly to look at the older man. It wasn’t anything unusual for David to randomly tell him that he loved him, but the tone in which he said it made Archie a little wary. “Everything ok?”

David nodded. “Yeah. I just… wanted to tell you that.”

Archie smiled brightly. “I love you, too,” he said before letting David’s lips claim his own in a tender kiss. “Mm,” he whimpered quietly as their mouths moved fluidly against each other for several long moments. When they finally parted, Archie sighed with contentment and turned his gaze back to the shimmering water as David’s strong embrace tightened around him.

As they sat there in comfortable silence, Archie felt David’s fingers toying with the hem of his t-shirt before snaking under to touch against his flat stomach. He sighed, enjoying the warm, gentle touch and moved his own hands to rest on top of David’s larger ones. “Do you think we could maybe do this more often?” He asked, finally interrupting their stillness. “You know, get away from everything once in a while?”

David didn’t reply immediately. He was too busy thinking about other things, and he didn’t really know how to answer that anyway. He wanted to tell him yes; that they could get away as often as he liked. However, he didn’t want to lie to him. No matter how much he loved the idea of the two of them getting away more often, he knew there was no chance of that happening for a while.

“Babe?” Archie asked after a few moments of hearing nothing but his boyfriend’s steady breathing.

“Hmm?”

Archie shifted a bit so that he could look at David again. When he saw the older man’s eyes, shining with unshed tears, he became alarmed. David rarely ever cried anymore. Archie blamed it on the Army as well as the shield that David had built around his heart in order to deal with the mental and emotional stress. Archie’s own heart sunk a little more as David turned his head, refusing to look at him. “Cook?”

“I uh…” David finally began; still not looking at his lover. “I have to tell you something.”

“Ok…” Archie’s voice remained steady despite the way his mind was racing and his stomach was rolling.

“I received notification that I’m being put back on active duty,” David said, unable to look Archie in the eyes.

“What?” Archie asked in shock as he immediately felt his heart sink. That was certainly something he was not prepared to hear.

Trying to remain confident, David shrugged. “We knew this could happen, Archie.”

Of course, David was right, Archie had known it was a possibility, but that had never kept him from pretending that it would never happen; especially as they got closer to the end of David’s term. “So…” Archie hesitated for a moment waiting for his mind to grasp on to the reality that David would be leaving him again. “What exactly does this mean? You know, as far as a time frame or whatever.”

“I’ve been assigned to a team in Washington. I have to fly there Tuesday morning. As of right now, we ship out in September or October.”

Archie’s whole body shivered at the thought of David going over there again. As traumatizing as it was the first time, he knew it hadn’t got much better. “I hate this war,” he stated, his voice breaking with the emotion that was building up in his throat. “I hate not knowing if I’ll ever see you again.”

David remained silent and simply held Archie a little closer and maybe just a little bit tighter.

*****

They stayed on the dock for a long time just letting the beauty of the lake and the tranquility of their surroundings soothe their aching hearts. The need to savor their weekend together weighed heavily on both their minds and yet neither of them was willing to move out of their current position.

David was the one who suggested they go back inside. He stood up first and then helped Archie to his feet. As they stood on the dock for a moment, David noticed Archie’s face was streaked from the silent tears he’d been crying. “Baby,” he murmured, giving Archie a remorseful look while reaching out to wipe the tears away from his cheek. “Please don’t cry.”

Archie bit his lower lip, trying his hardest not to begin weeping uncontrollably. He couldn’t help it though. He had been remembering the last time David was deployed and how hard it had been. In fact, they were just getting to the point where David was almost David again. “I’m sorry.”

“No…” David scolded gently. “No need to apologize. I know how hard this is on you. Believe me, baby, I don’t want to leave you again.”

Archie sniffled once more before falling into David’s arms and just letting go. He sobbed as David pulled him close, curling his hands in the fabric of Archie’s t-shirt.

He cried for a long time against David’s bare chest before David finally made him go inside with him. He set him down the couch and knelt on the floor in front of him. “Archie,” he tried again while reaching up with both hands to cup his face. “You gotta stop crying, baby.” He forced a small smile. “You’re going to make me cry and I’m trying really hard to be strong right now.”

Archie gasped, trying to regain control of his emotions. “I… I can’t help it…”

“I know.” David rose up, still cupping Archie’s face in his hands. “Listen to me, baby,” he said, while look directly into Archie’s eyes. “I’m going to go over there and I’m going to do what I’m sent there to do, and then… then I’m coming home to you. Do you hear me, Archie? I’ll come back to you.”

“Cook...” Archie whimpered as more tears rolled over his reddened cheeks.

“I promise,” David stated stubbornly. “I’ll always come back.”

Of course, Archie knew in his heart that wasn’t something that David could guarantee, but he appreciated the promise just the same. “I love you,” he whispered. Sure he’d said it less than an hour earlier, but he wanted to make sure David knew; that he always knew.

“I love you, too,” David replied before leaning in to give him a rather convincing kiss that left him completely breathless. “Let’s make the most of this weekend, ok?”

Archie nodded, although it was with a heavy heart.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

A Soldier’s Love

Chapter 15 

After spending a good twenty minutes in front of the bathroom mirror, Archie made his way down to the kitchen. He hadn’t been able to sleep much the night before and judging by the time his boyfriend had slipped out of bed, he’d say David hadn’t either.

As he descended the stairs, Archie could smell breakfast cooking. He stopped at the door to the kitchen just to watch David for a while. It was their last day at the cabin and they were going to pack up and head home the next morning. If it were left up to Archie, they would've just stay at the lake forever. Anything to avoid the heartache that was bound to come.

Archie was lost in his own world by the time David noticed him leaning against the doorframe. “Huh?” he asked, jolted from his thoughts by David’s gruff, morning voice. It was a sharp reminder that he wouldn’t get to wake up to the sound of that voice for a long time. The thought saddened him tremendously.

David chuckled lightly at the disorientated look on his boyfriend’s face. “How long have you been there?”

“Oh, not long,” Archie replied, moving away from the door to make his way over to the stove to see what David was making. He smiled as his eyes fell upon the contents of the skillet. “Omelets! Those look great.” 

“I hope you’re hungry, because I made French toast sticks too.”

Archie peered into the oven as David opened the door. “Wow. You’ve been busy.” When he stood back up, David had moved over to the breakfast bar and was pouring each of them a large glass of orange juice.

David smiled at Archie as the younger man hopped up on one of the stools. “I started this morning’s crossword.” David motioned to the newspaper on the countertop. “But I got stuck on a couple. Think maybe you can help me out?”

Archie furrowed his brow as he picked up the newspaper to have a look. David rarely had trouble with crossword puzzles and if he did, he usually didn’t ask Archie for help. He gave David a confused look when he saw the completed puzzle, but a smile began to form on his lips when he looked closer. Among a plethora of Xs and Os, David had left him a message in various blocks of the puzzle.

“I love you, Arch. You are my life. You are my Love. You are my peace of mind. Always your boy, Cook.”

Archie stared at the message for several long moments, just reading it over and over. By the time he could open his mouth to speak, David had already gone back to the stove. Archie picked up David’s pen and flipped the paper to the word search. He skimmed through the letters, circling various ones before drawing lines and arrows to connect them.

When David returned with two plates, he saw the newspaper lying on top of his placemat. With a hearty laugh, David set the plates down and gave Archie a tight hug, ruffling his hair along the way. “Well, I’m glad you love this sexy nerd.”

Sure, his “nerds are sexy” and “love you” wasn’t as heartfelt and sweet as David’s message had been, but that had been Archie’s intention. He smiled and forced himself not to cry when David meticulously tore the word search from the newspaper and shoved it into his back pocket. He wasn’t surprised when David made no eye contact as he took a seat on the stool next to him.

“So, I was thinking,” David said while poking at his eggs with a fork. “We should just hang out here today. I know we’d planned a trip on the boat, but I don’t really want to go.”

As it turned out, Archie felt the exact same way. He would much rather stay hidden away from the world with his boyfriend than go out on the boat. They ended up spending the entire morning inside the cabin lounging in front of the TV and talking. Then after lunch, David dug out the stack of board games that Neal’s family kept stashed in a hall closet.

The couple sprawled out on living room floor and challenged each other to a game of Trivial Pursuit. Much to Archie’s chagrin, he was losing and David was beginning to gloat. He scowled at his boyfriend from across the board. “You know, if you want to be a butt about it, I’m going to quit.”

David couldn’t help but laugh at the cute little pout on Archie’s face. “Aw, I’m sorry, Baby. Want me to give you an easy one?”

Archie watched incredulously as his boyfriend shuffled through some cards, muttering over various questions until he finally found one that was suitable. “You don’t have to cheat for me.”

“But this one is easy!”

“That’s what you said about the arachi-bu-tyro—whatever that peanut butter phobia thing was. There is no way you would have known that one either.”

David made a glowering face at his boyfriend. “Whatever. I totally knew that one.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure.”

“Ok, fine. Fine. Have it your way.” David caught sight of Archie’s eyes rolling just as he glanced down at the card in his hand. He smiled wickedly, knowing that the question he was about to ask would catch Archie by complete surprise. “You ready for this?”

“Yes.”

“Listen carefully. It’s a bit confusing.”

“Thought you said it was easy.”

David shrugged at Archie’s valid point. “Well, it is, but if you don’t listen carefully, you might miss something.”

“Oh my gosh. Just ask it, already.”

David smiled. “Ok, from the sports and leisure category, will you marry me?”

Archie’s eyes instantly went from the game board to his boyfriend’s face. He didn’t know what he was expecting to see, but David’s expression said that he was anything but joking. “Wh-what?” He swallowed thickly and watched David place a ring box onto the center of the board. “Oh my gosh. You’re serious.”

David gave him a short nod and a hopeful look as he opened the ring box. “What do you say, Arch?”

With trembling hands, Archie picked the box up and carefully pulled both rings from inside. His heart pounded inside his chest as he admired their intricate design. A marriage proposal was the last thing he’d expected to happen that weekend. Tears threatened to spill, but he blinked them back, unsure if they were tears of happiness or tears of sadness. He really wanted to marry David, in fact, he’d been thinking about marriage a lot in the recent months, but with the news of David’s reassignment, he’d quickly banished the idea.

David waited patiently as Archie studied the silver bands, his face contorting with a wide range of emotions. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Archie looked up at David with watery eyes and nodded affirmatively as he got to his knees. “Yeah?” David asked, letting go of a breath that he’d been holding as he watched Archie struggle for an answer.

“Yes,” Archie exclaimed while pushing the game board out of the way. As David sat up, Archie threw his arms around him, unable to control his emotions any longer. He pressed his face into the crook of David’s neck. “Did you really think I might say no?”

“Well, I was starting to get a bit worried because…” David trailed off as Archie slowly rose up, looking at him through bleary, but determined eyes. He shook his head, no doubt trying to reassure David, that there was never a chance that he’d refuse him. David remained quiet as Archie cupped his face with his free hand. 

“I love you,” Archie whispered. “I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you by my side.” He swallowed the lump in his throat and made himself continue. “I was actually thinking about asking you, but when you told me that you’re going to be deployed again I kind of let it go. I didn’t think you would really want to make that kind of commitment…well, you know, with how uncertain things are.”

David blinked rapidly to keep his own emotions in check. “You were going to ask me to marry you?”

Archie nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “I was getting tired of waiting.”

David finally let his tears fall over his cheeks as an unexpected, but welcome laugh resonated from deep in his chest. Shaking his head in wonder, he smiled gratefully. “How are you so perfect, Archie?”

“I’m not perfect,” Archie assured him. “I just love you with everything I am.”

“Jesus,” David breathed. “Are you trying to make me break down and cry?”

Archie smirked in spite of his own tears. “Hey, it’s only fair.”

They were both silent for a long moment after that, just staring into each other’s eyes until David finally spoke up. “Uh, so maybe I should put a ring on your finger or something?”

“Oh!” Archie blushed as he remembered the rings he’d been holding. “I um… yeah, put it on,” he said, holding out his upturned palm. He chewed anxiously on his lower lip while an amused David picked up the smaller of the two rings and slipped it effortlessly onto Archie's left ring finger.

“Just right,” David murmured, a triumphant smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Archie stared in awe at the ring for a moment before he smiled up at David. “My turn.”

Once Archie slid the remaining silver band into place on David’s left hand, he laced their fingers together and his eyes met David’s. “You can’t even begin to imagine how happy you’ve just made me.”

“Yes, I can.” David informed as he bowed his head to kiss his new fiancé.

*****

Archie woke up to the light touch of David’s fingers trailing up and down his spine. He smiled into the pillow beneath his head and sighed. “Good morning,” he said a moment later as he turned his head to face David who was lying next to him with his head propped up on his arm.

“Mornin’,” David replied.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Not long,” David told him as he moved his hand up over Archie’s neck and around to his cheek.

They stared into each other’s eyes for a few quiet moments, and then David leaned forward to place a gentle kiss against Archie’s lips before starting a trail along his jaw.

As David’s body inched closer to his own, Archie turned over, twisting the sheets around his naked limbs. “Mm, again?” he asked with a smile, bringing his hands up to cup David’s face. He took a moment to run his fingers through his fiancé’s short facial hair, suddenly realizing how much he was going to miss it. Come Tuesday morning, David would be clean-shaven and ready for action again. Archie got lost in his thoughts until David’s voice brought him back—just in time to stop more tears.

“Where did you go?” David chuckled softly as his eyes met Archie’s once again. “You ok? We don’t have to…”

“No,” Archie interrupted. “I was just savoring this moment. I want to remember every second that we spend together from here on out.” He blushed as he continued. “I want to memorize every inch of your body—every freckle, every scar...”

A sly grin spread over David’s lips as he looked down at Archie who was lying partially beneath him. “I think that can be arranged.” He leaned down and kissed Archie’s forehead. “But I get to go first.”

Archie gasped at the unexpected scrape of David’s teeth as they grazed his neck. How could he argue with that idea? “Ok,” he sighed, feeling David’s tongue fluttering it’s way over his shoulder while warm, calloused hands slid down his sides, peeling away the sheet.

Archie closed his eyes and concentrated on feeling. He raked his fingers through David’s hair, pulling at the short trusses, as his lover showered his torso with licks and kisses and even the occasional nip. “Mm, Cook,” he moaned, breathily as David’s lips closed around a puckered nipple. “Please don’t stop… Don’t ever stop.” He felt as though his whole body was on fire; alive and ready for everything David could give him.

David glanced up at Archie as he paused for a second just below Archie’s navel. He needed a moment to drink in the sight of his beautiful fiancé lying against a mound of pillows; his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted, as he remained lost in pleasure. “God, I don’t want to leave you,” David whispered to himself, closing his own eyes as his head dipped to nuzzle Archie’s flat stomach. 

As he kissed along the barely-there, trail of dark hair leading away from Archie’s belly button, David smiled. The heat of Archie’s erection against his chest made his enthusiasm return, and his hunger for the younger man grew stronger.

The instant Archie felt David’s mouth sheathing his entire length, his head pressed back into the pillows and he cried out in delight. His fingers dug into the bedding on either side of him as he struggled to keep from thrusting his hips, though he found it even more difficult when David’s tongue began to swirl.

David remained there for a long while, his mouth repeatedly pushing Archie closer to the edge only to drag him back slowly. Finally, after placing one last kiss to the tip of Archie’s straining erection, David began making his way back up over Archie’s flushed body. When he reached Archie’s face, he nipped lightly at the corner of Archie’s mouth before covering it with his own.

Archie wound his arms around David’s and opened his mouth invitingly. The gentle sweep of David’s tongue against his own sent a tingle through Archie’s entire body, making him writhe against David’s hard physique. He whimpered and bucked his hips as David’s lower body pushed into his and their erections pressed together between them.

“Oh, fuck, Archie,” David gasped as he broke away from his lover’s mouth several moments later. “You’re gonna make me come.”

“Kinda the idea, isn’t it?” Archie teased before sucking David’s earlobe into his mouth and lifting a leg to wrap around David’s waist.

David smirked and pulled away from Archie, swatting his butt playfully. “I love you, baby.”

Archie relaxed back into the pillows sniggering softly as David flashed him a smile and leaned over to retrieve some necessities from the nightstand where they’d left them hours earlier

After another quick kiss, David began sliding back down Archie’s body. When he reached Archie’s thighs, he sat up on his knees and peered down at him. “I want you so much right now.” 

Archie bit his bottom lip in anticipation as he watched David fumble with the packet in his hands until he finally growled in frustration and used his teeth to rip the annoying foil. Archie gasped in surprise when instead of David rolling the condom on his own erection; he reached for Archie’s. “Are-are you sure?” Archie asked as David moved to hover over him again as he finished rolling the thin latex onto Archie’s length with one hand.

“I’ve never been more sure,” David murmured, his lips grazing over Archie’s cheek. “You up for it?”

Archie couldn’t help the excited giggle that escaped him. “I think you already know the answer to that.”

David chuckled and moved to lie on his stomach next to Archie. He gave Archie a lazy smile and closed his eyes as his lover sat up. “Mmm,” he sighed, feeling Archie’s move over him to sit astride his thighs.

Archie felt his stomach knotting up with excitement as he rubbed his hands over David’s sculpted back. This was a rare treat for him, so he was definitely going to take his time to enjoy it. He leaned over and placed a kiss between David’s shoulder blades. “Relax, baby. I’m going to make you feel so good,” he promised before he began to kiss his way down David’s spine, his hands following suit.

*****

When they returned home, they discovered Beth and Lupe had orchestrated a little family get together at their house; a little party for David before he left for Washington. David’s dad and step-mom even made the trip from Indiana, which was a shock to them both. They were even more surprised after dinner when Stan asked David to step outside with him.

“Go,” Archie encouraged, hoping for the best as he gave his fiancé a gently nudge towards the door that his father had already gone through. “He traveled all this way. You should at least hear him out.”

Reluctantly, David headed for the door, but not before refilling his glass of wine and downing the whole thing in one gulp. Face-to-face conversations with his dad hadn’t been one of his favorite things for a long time. “You wanted to talk?” David asked as he joined his dad on the back porch.

“This is a nice place you have here,” Stan said while looking around the back yard.

“It’s nothing fancy, but it works for us,” David responded, fully aware of the tension in the air around them. “And I’m sure that’s probably not what you wanted to tell me when you asked me out here.”

“You’re right,” Stan replied with a smirk. “You like to cut right to the chase, don’t you?”

“Well, I just don’t see the point in small talk between you and me. We’ve never had much reason for it.”

“And I’m sorry for that,” Stan said, his voice filled with remorse. “I’ve not been a very good father to you, Dave. I realize that I can’t go back and change the way I’ve treated you, but I would like to make things right between us.”

“Because I’m leaving?”

“I’ll admit that has a little something to do with it. I don’t want you going over there without knowing that your old man still cares about you.”

“Why is this time any different than the last? I don’t ever remember getting a phone call or a letter from you in the seventeen months that I was deployed. You must have been worried sick.”

“I did worry about you, son. I talked to your brother almost daily just to ask about you.”

“That’s comforting, Dad.” David’s bitterness towards his Dad began to surface. “I imagine it was just so much easier to call your perfect, straight son everyday than it was to make an effort to contact your disgraceful, gay son just once.”

“David…”

“No, Dad, I’m tired of this. Why can’t you just accept that I’m gay, and that I’m in a stable relationship with another man? I know that’s what this is about. Things between you and I haven’t been the same since I told you.”

“It’s been difficult,” Stan explained, “but it is getting easier.”

David’s brow rose as he looked at his dad. “What?”

“I’ve given it a lot of thought lately. I know I should have made more effort in the beginning, but it was hard for me, son. I kept blaming myself. Maybe I wasn’t a good enough father after your mom and I divorced. Perhaps if I’d have spent more time with you…”

“Dad,” David interrupted, looking away with a long sigh as he gripped the hard wood of the banister in front of him. “It doesn’t work that way. You can’t teach someone to be straight.”

“That’s what your mother and step-mother have been preaching to me since the day you told me you were gay. I was always just too stubborn to accept it.” Stan finally turned to face David. “I’m sorry, son. I should have been supportive from the very beginning. I just hope I’m not too late to make things right with you.”

“I asked Archie to marry me,” David said without hesitation. If his dad really was trying, then his reaction to that would confirm it. Plus, David wanted him to know that he wasn’t going to change. Ever.

“I know. Your mother told me.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

Stan sighed. “I wasn’t sure what to feel at first, but when I saw the two of you together this afternoon, it was obvious. Archie is a good guy and he loves you, that much I can see. I can also tell that you love him. I guess in all honesty, I’d be proud to have him as a son-in-law.”

“Seriously?” David blinked in shock. Nothing could have prepared him to hear his father say something like that to him. Maybe he really was finally going to accept David for who he was.

Stan nodded and suddenly pulled David into a crushing hug. “I love you, son, and I am so proud of you.”

“I… I love you, too, Dad.” David buried his face in the fabric of his father’s shirt and breathed in deeply. He hadn’t intended on letting his father off the hook so easily, but at the moment he felt as though a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He couldn’t wait to share the news with Archie.

*****

Tuesday morning, Archie stood to the side as David said goodbye to his family. He was glad that David and his dad had made amends. Even though David never really said anything about it, Archie knew that it bothered him a lot.

He smiled when David finally walked over to where he was standing. “All set?” He asked, reaching up to straighten the collar on David’s ACU.

David nodded, looking down into Archie’s eyes. “I think so.” They stood just like that for a few minutes, staring into each other’s eyes, neither of them ready to part. Then the boarding call for David’s flight came over the loudspeaker, and David closed his eyes, sighing with dread. “I’ll call you when I get settled in Washington.”

“You better,” Archie warned. “I love you.”

“Love you, too,” David replied, a half-smile on his lips. He took just a second longer to look at his fiancé before swooping down for a kiss.

Archie whimpered and threw his arms around David’s neck when David pulled him into a tight embrace. There was a sense of urgency in David’s kiss that Archie had never felt before and it made him cling to the other man. Even when the kiss was over, Archie still held onto him. He just couldn’t find it in himself to let go.

“Baby…” David’s gentle voice called to him. “I have to go.”

Reluctantly, and with a little help from David, Archie let go and stepped back. “Sorry.”

David frowned, reaching out to wipe away a tear beneath Archie’s eye. “Please don’t cry, baby.”

Archie took a deep breath, working up the courage to watch David walk away. “Have a safe trip.”

David nodded and bent to pick up his bag. Both he and Archie had agreed not to say “goodbye” so he gave Archie a tight smile and turned to leave. However, he was only three steps away when he stopped, unable to go any further.

Archie watched him, wondering why he’d stopped. “Cook?”

David dropped his bag and turned back around, a determined look on his face.

Before Archie could do or say anything, David had him in his arms again, kissing him with everything he had. Archie melted into his embrace and readily returned his kiss until the need to breathe became too much.

“I love you, baby. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Archie nodded, still struggling to contain his emotions as David flashed him a brilliant smile and walked away once more.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

A Soldier’s Love

Chapter 16

Archie laughed heartily at the face his fiancé made in response to Archie telling him about the new charity program that he was helping Beth run. "Come on, it's not that bad. Your Mom is great at that kind of thing."

"I know, but I honestly don't think you know what you got yourself into."

Archie shrugged. He didn't really care what he'd agreed to as long as it kept his mind off David and the Middle East. "It keeps me busy."

"That's good," David told him as a solemn look washed over his face. "So uh, I'm getting ready for a new mission and I'm not sure when I'll be able to Skype with you again."

The unknown wasn't anything new for Archie. He knew that talking to David on Skype wasn't always going to be an option, so he didn't sweat it. "Ok. Will you be able to call sometime, though?"

"Maybe. I don't know for sure."

Archie noticed that David suddenly seemed distracted. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I just noticed the time," David explained. "I should probably go check on my guys."

"Oh, yeah." Archie glanced at the clock in the corner of his screen. He hadn't realized they'd been talking for so long. "I guess we lost track of time."

"Yeah, we did." David sighed heavily, as he stared at Archie with a longing look in his eyes. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too." Archie always hated this part of their conversations. They'd kept their promise to never say goodbye, but he couldn't help the feeling of dread he got each time they ended a video chat or phone conversation. "Be safe, Cook."

"Always," David replied with a half-hearted smile. "I'll talk to you as soon as I can."

Archie nodded, keeping his tears at bay until the screen went blank. Then he closed his eyes and let them fall freely while he recited yet another whispered prayer for his fiancé’s safety.

*****

It was early in the afternoon on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Archie sat at the kitchen table sipping on hot apple cider and going over some fundraising ideas with Beth, who had stopped by bearing a basket full of homemade pumpkin bread and spiced-apple muffins.

"Maybe you should just have a bake sale," Archie suggested as he bit into one of Beth's muffins and nearly moaned at how good it tasted.

Beth smiled. "I thought about that, but I'm sure people are getting tired of my bake sales." She chuckled at the incredulous look that Archie shot her way. "Ok, maybe I'm the one getting tired of bake sales."

"Well, I would help you," Archie offered. "And I could probably get some of the kids from school to volunteer. You know that kind of thing looks really good on a transcript."

With a nod, Beth reached for her cup of cider. "How about we keep that option as a last resort? If we don't think of something new and creative, we'll go back to the bake sale."

Archie couldn't really argue with that, so he reluctantly agreed. "Ok."

"What about a winter fest?" Beth asked, causing Archie's eyes to widen with excitement. "I'm sure we could use the community center or even the church's fellowship hall.

"That actually sounds like a lot of fun," Archie noted once Beth finished spouting off ideas for the festival.

"Much more fun than a bake sale,” Beth assured him.

Archie laughed and was about to sink his teeth into another bite of muffin when the doorbell rang. He furrowed his brow and looked at the clock, wondering who it could be. He wasn’t expecting anyone other than Beth that day. "Excuse me," he said politely as he got up.

As he walked through the living room towards the front door, he glanced out the window and caught a glimpse of a black car parked along the curb. No one he knew owned a car like that. Then, just as he was reaching the door he saw two men in uniform standing on the porch and he stopped dead in his tracks. "Beth!"

Seconds later, Beth was by his side, a look of concern etched on her face. "What is it?" Her gaze followed Archie's as the doorbell rang again. "Oh Lord," she whispered.

*****

"Missing?" Beth asked, her arm tightening around Archie's shoulders.

"Yes, ma'am. There was an attack on the observation post where Sergeant Cook was stationed. We've searched the perimeter and so far we've had no luck in locating him or others who were there with him. Right now we have no option but to declare them missing in action."

Archie trembled and his eyes stung with unshed tears as he stood staring at the officers, listening to them explain what they thought had happened to his fiancé. He didn't speak; he couldn't speak.

"We will certainly keep you informed as we are updated on Sergeant Cook's status," one of the men explained.

"Thank you," Beth said, her voice cracking with emotion as the officer gave her a polite nod.

Once the men left, Archie felt his knees buckle and he sunk to the floor with a loud sob. All of his worst fears were finally coming true. In the few seconds that it had taken him to walk from the kitchen to the front door, his whole world had been shattered, and nothing on Earth could have prepared him for the way he felt at that moment.

*****

It was a good thing that Archie had the entire following week off from work. There was no way he could have concentrated on teaching. Then there was the holiday. His mother had insisted that he show up for Thanksgiving dinner even though he didn't feel like celebrating or giving thanks. He attended the family dinner, but mostly just to appease his mom and to get out of the house and all the constant reminders of David.

"How are you holding up?" Lupe asked her son as they sat alone in the living room after dinner. Everyone else had already gone home for the night, but Archie was lingered.

He shrugged his shoulders , a desolate look on his face. He had been quiet during dinner and much to his relief none of his siblings had pushed for conversation. Thankfully, the family seemed to be focused on Claudia’s growing belly. "I'm tired," he finally admitted. "I haven't slept much this week."

"That's understandable." Lupe sighed and reached for Archie's hand. "You have to be strong Mijo."

He nodded. "I know, Mama. It's just so hard not knowing where he is or what he's going through. Is he even alive?"

Lupe watched over her steaming cup of tea as her son's resolve gave way. It hurt her to see him in such pain, but at that moment, even she wasn't sure what to say, so she did the only thing she could. She set her cup down and scooted closer to him. "Come." Her voice was soft and gentle as she held her arms open to him.

Archie sniveled and leaned into his mother's embrace. "It feels so unreal, and I feel so—so helpless."

"You are not helpless, darling. You can still pray."

"What good will that do?" Archie felt his throat tighten up with emotion as he buried his face in the soft fabric of his mother's sweater. He'd never really doubted the power of prayer, but at that moment, even it seemed useless to him. "I've prayed for him every day since—since I can't even remember, and look what happened."

"You must not lose your faith," Lupe scolded gently. "I know it's tough and you're scared and I'm sure that you feel like you've been let down, but honey, you need to cling to your faith more than ever, right now."

"What if God isn't listening to me anymore?" He shuddered at the thought of all those people from his childhood church preaching against homosexuality. The mere idea that his love was wrong made him angry. “Maybe he hates me.”

"David James!" Lupe sat up straight, coaxing Archie to sit up as well. "You must not say things like that. God is always listening, and he does not hate you."

Archie sobbed and more tears spilled from his eyes. "I'm sorry, mama, but how can you expect me put so much stock in prayer when something like this happens despite how much I've prayed for it not to?"

"Trust, Mijo. Everything happens for a reason. We may not always understand it, but you shouldn't question it."

"It's hard not to when I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest every time I think about Cook." He sobbed. “And I’m always thinking about Cook.”

Lupe sighed, and pulled her son back into her arms as he wept. "I know, sweetheart. I know." She held him tight and stroked his hair, soothing him in a way that only a mother could. "Perhaps we should pray for you, Mijo. Pray for God to give you the strength to get through this—whatever it may be."

*****

During the weeks that followed, Archie threw himself into his classes and continued helping Beth with her charity work. He avoided taking too much time to himself because he couldn’t stop his mind from wondering where David was and if he was injured; or worse. He’d listened to his mother and tried to be optimistic about the whole situation, but as the days went on, he found it more and more difficult.

One afternoon, during the study hall class that he supervised, a couple of the students pointed out that none of them were doing anything productive and asked if they could watch TV. After a little thought, Archie turned on the news and told them that keeping up with current events would be more educational than sitting idly in the classroom or watching MTV. The teenagers were grumpy about it at first, but eventually they decided that it was better than sitting in boredom.

It became an everyday habit in his classroom that period. For at least twenty minutes during the last half of the study hall, Archie turned on the news and let his students relax. That’s what was going on when a simple commentary on the headline news caught Archie’s attention.

Archie called to one of the students in the front of the classroom as he stood up from his desk. “Turn that up, please.”

“There’s breaking news in the case of missing American soldiers who disappeared following an enemy attack on an observation post in Kunar Province. The bodies of four of the missing soldiers were recovered yesterday in an abandoned building several miles from the original attack…”

Archie wasn’t sure which started first; the ringing in his ears or the churning in his stomach. Either way, he knew he had to get out of the classroom as quickly as he could. He barely made it into the first stall in the boys’ bathroom down the hall before he fell to his knees heaving violently. The emotional stress along with the horrible images his mind was suddenly conjuring up was simply too much for him.

Moments later, gasping desperately for air, his body sagged against the wall. His stomach continued to lurch, but there was nothing left to come up. He just concentrated on breathing until he was able to calm down.

When he finally managed a deep breath, he wiped his mouth with his shirtsleeve before reaching to flush the toilet. He sobbed, realizing how much he was still shaking and just how badly he’d been rattled. He knew David couldn’t be one of the soldiers found, surely the Army would have contacted him before letting it be broadcast on the news if he had been.

Just then, there was a knock on the stall door. “Archie,” the familiar voice on the other side said. “Are you ok in there?”

Reluctantly, Archie pulled himself to his feet and opened the door. “I’m fine,” he murmured as he came face to face with his boss, Principal Jones.

“One of your student’s told me what happened.”

“I over reacted,” Archie explained as he walked by Principal Jones to get to the sink where he began washing up.

“Why don’t you go home. Take a few days off. I’ll find someone to cover your classes.”

Archie shook his head in protest. “No. I’m ok.”

Principal Jones gave Archie an incredulous look. “At least take the rest of the day. You can come back on Monday when you’ve rested. You look worn out, son.”

Archie couldn’t argue. He felt worn out. Maybe some rest was what he needed. Trying to stay strong and constantly bracing himself for more bad news was draining in itself. Not to mention all the extracurricular activities that he’d been volunteering for. “Are you sure it’s ok?”

“Of course. You can’t keep pushing yourself so much.”

“It keeps me sane,” Archie explained while drying his hands on a paper towel. He looked up at Principal Jones and saw the genuine concern in his eyes. “Thank you, sir.”

The principal gave him a nod. “We’re all praying for David, and for you.”

“Thank you,” Archie repeated, realizing how grateful he was to have a job at their old school where most everyone knew the situation and were understanding.

*****

Voices shouting in a language he didn’t understand, and the sound of AK-47’s echoed through the deserted halls as he slumped tiredly against the clay wall. The noise was almost unbearable, making his head pound. While looking for an escape, a small slither of light in the distance caught his eye. He began slinking down the corridor, feeling his way toward the light in the chilly darkness. The dust from the dirt floor tickled his throat and burned his eyes, but he pushed on, unwilling to give up until he found what he was looking for.

Soon, he was able to see that the light was coming from a room at the end of the corridor. He approached the room with caution, unsure of what he might be running into if he just walked inside. Peeking around the corner, he found a near empty room with a single cot situated beneath a barred window. On the cot was a body laying face down, limbs dangling over the edge. He could tell by the uniform that it was an American Soldier, and his heart began to thump harder against his chest.

Quickly, he glanced back out the door just to make sure there was no one else around. Then he made his way over to the soldier. The light from the window allowed him to see the bloodstains and rips in the man’s t-shirt. His stomach lurched at the sight of the unclean, open gashes that crisscrossed the soldier’s back. He’d been tortured, that much was clear, but he wasn’t dead. His labored breathing proved that much.

Taking a deep breath, he moved closer and knelt next to the cot so he could see the soldier’s face. Even with the dirt crusted on the man’s cheeks, he could recognize the soldier. Angry tears suddenly sprung to his eyes as he reached up and curled his fingers in badly matted hair. He tugged a bit, trying to turn the soldier’s head towards him.

The soldier’s eyes opened slowly, meeting with his own. “Archie…” he wheezed. “Help me…”

“Cook!” Archie choked as he sat up, breathing hard and shaking like a leaf. It took a moment for him to realize that it was just a dream, but he still curled up, hugging his knees to his chest as he rocked slightly back and forth, trying to make the images disappear.

Moments later, after Archie’s mind had cleared, the doorbell rang. He looked towards the front door, and a feeling of dread settled over him. He hated to think about who might be standing on the other side of that door, in fact there was a little voice in the back of his mind telling him to go hide.

Nevertheless, he got up and made his way to the door, careful not to step on any of the photo albums or yearbooks he’d knocked to the floor when he’d awoken. Taking a deep breath, he pulled open the door without looking through the window as he normally did. “Oh, my gosh!” His eyes grew wide with surprise and relief. “What are you guys doing here?”

When Neal shrugged and Andy smiled brightly, holding up a grocery bag, a grin formed on Archie’s face as well. “Come in!” He stepped to the side and let them by. It seemed like ages since he’d seen the two men standing on his porch. As Neal walked by, Archie noticed he too had his arms full. “Um, can I take something for you?”

Neal handed him one of the brown paper bags he’d been cradling. “Thanks, man.”

“We brought Chinese take-out,” Andy said as they walked towards the kitchen. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”

Archie shook his head. “N-no, I’ve been sleeping actually. Got off work a little early today—wasn’t feeling the greatest.”

Neal and Andy set their bags down on the counter following Archie’s lead. It was Andy who finally caved and told Archie the real reason for their impromptu visit. “We both saw the news this afternoon.”

“Oh,” Archie whispered, averting his eyes to the floor. “Still no news on Cook.”

“We know,” Andy replied. “But we were thinking about you, so we decided to come say hi.”

Archie blinked, willing himself not to get too emotional, even though he was really touched. Fortunately, Andy didn’t really care about how hard Archie was trying to keep himself in check. “Umph!” Archie gasped as Andy pulled him into a crushing hug.

When their slightly awkward hug ended, Archie noticed Neal was starting to unpack the bags. He watched for a moment as Neal pulled a 6-pack of beer from one of the brown bags and had to smile appreciatively when the second 6-pack was a case of Snapple.

“Mango Madness, right?” Neal asked with a sheepish look on his face.

Archie felt his heart slam against his chest and suddenly, he was too overwhelmed to care that Neal wasn’t the touchy-feely kind of friend.

At first, Neal stood stock still, unsure of how to react to Archie throwing his arms around him and squeezing him like there was no tomorrow, but eventually, he relaxed and wrapped his arms around the younger man as well.

“Thank you,” Archie whispered as he finally pulled away from Neal. “It means so much to have you both here.”

“Friends,” Andy said with a shrug.

Archie smiled and went to get paper plates from the cupboard. “I hope you guys don’t mind eating off of the fine china. I’ve been kind of lax in the dishwashing lately and I’m pretty sure most of my plates are in the dishwasher.”

“My favorite kind of china,” Andy said, giving Neal a satisfied smirk.

The three friends sat around the breakfast bar, eating Chinese and talking about everything except the one thing that was weighing heavily on all their minds. It was a welcome distraction for Archie—and from the last people he’d ever expected.

*****

Weeks dragged on, turning into months. Archie and everyone in David’s family were still hanging on to hope that David was alive and would somehow find his way back home

Feeling any kind of happiness in such a difficult time was extremely hard for Archie, but he thought that a visit to his mom’s house on the day Claudia brought his new niece, Chelsie, home would help. He loved his sister and he’d been so excited when she’d told him he was going to be an uncle, but even with the newborn cradled in his arms, he couldn’t seem to find the joy he knew he should feel.

Instead, he felt as though a knife had been plunged into his gut and was being twisted a little deeper every time he managed to look at the baby’s delicate face. He felt guilty and selfish for being so gloomy when everyone around him, especially his sister, was in such good spirits. He forced a smile and muttered some compliments as he handed his niece back to his sister before he excused himself from the large group of family that had gathered in his Mother’s living room.

Tears were spilling from his eyes by the time he reached the top of the stairs and he angrily wiped them away with the back of his hand as he pushed through the door to his old room. He was so tired of crying and so worn out from the emotional stress; all he really wanted to do was sleep. However, his anger had flared and he was unable to control the urge to throw things.

The first casualty of his rage was a glass bowl that contained seashells from his first trip to the beach. It shattered into a hundred little pieces as it slammed into the wall opposite where he stood. The second was an alarm clock that barely missed the window, colliding with the wooden trim instead. His heart raced as adrenaline pulsed through his veins. It felt good.

However, as the fourth object impacted and slid down the wall, he stopped to stare at the broken glass of the photo he’d just thrown.

With quiet sobs, he walked over and carefully picked it up. It was a picture of him and David, taken at David’s high school graduation party; just hours before their whole world changed. That was the night that David told Archie that he loved him for the first time. It was also the night that he broke the news that he was joining the Army. Suddenly stripped of energy, Archie sunk to the floor, hugging the broken frame tightly to his chest.

He was still sitting there when Claudia opened the door and poked her head in. Her eyes widened briefly at the mess on the floor next to where Archie sat leaning against the bed. “Oh, sweetie,” she whispered, letting herself into the room.

Archie barely acknowledged her as she sat down next to him and pulled him into her arms. However, after several moments of sitting in silence, Archie finally spoke incoherently against his sister’s now tear soaked shoulder.

“What was that?” She asked, unsure of his mumbling.

“He said I’d never lose him,” Archie repeated as he sat up a bit. “On the night this picture was taken; he promised.”

Claudia looked at the photo as Archie lifted it up for her to see. “You haven’t lost him,” she soothed, her tone soft and nurturing. “You can’t give up hope.”

“I haven’t.” Archie wiped his face with the back of his hand. “But I don’t know how much longer I can hold on to it. The more time that passes, the less certain I feel.” When Claudia didn’t respond, Archie sighed. “I’m sorry, Claud. I know I’m sort of raining on you parade here. I should have just stayed home tonight.

“And not meet your niece? I don’t think so, little brother.”

Archie smiled weakly. “She’s beautiful, sis. I am really happy for you, even though I haven’t done a very good job at showing it. It’s just that—well, seeing Chelsie reminds me of Cook and the fact that we wanted our own family someday. We talked about it, you know; about having kids of our own.”

“I think you and Dave would make great parents,” Claudia said, her eyes misting with unshed tears.

Archie sighed heavily and blinked away more tears of his own. “All of that—our plans; they just see so worthless now.” He stared down at the picture again before continuing with what was on his mind. “Lately, I find myself not just hoping that they’ll find him soon and that he’s alive, but also that I’ll find the strength to cope if he’s not. I honestly don’t know how I will handle going on without him, but I know that I might have to, so I guess I’m trying to prepare.”

Claudia didn’t comment immediately, but Archie could tell she was looking for the right words. Once again, he felt bad for dumping his sorrows onto someone else. “You don’t have to say anything, Claud. I know I make everyone around me uncomfortable.”

“You do not! I just wish there was something I could do to help you through this.”

“This. Right now, being able to talk to someone who isn’t Mom or Beth or Jackie? This helps.” He saw the question in his sister’s eyes and thought he should explain further. “I feel bad talking to Jackie because it’s just like constantly reminding her of her own loss. She’s finally able to move on with her life and I don’t like taking her back there every time we talk. Beth is too fragile herself, and Mom gets upset with me when I sometimes question God for allowing this to happen.”

“I see,” Claudia replied, taking time to process everything her brother had just told her. “I know how Mom can be, but she means well.”

“I know, but I always leave our conversations feeling guilty and worse than I already did.”

“Well, I think you have every right to ask questions. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why are either of you being put through this hell? I get it, hon. I ask those questions too. It just doesn’t seem fair.” She sighed. “And just so you know, you can talk to me any time you need to. About anything.”

Archie sniffled as new tears began to cascade over his cheeks. “I just miss him so much and I’m so scared that I’ll never get the chance to see him again.” He leaned into his sister once again. “I never quite understood what people meant when they said they didn’t feel whole without their spouse. I get it now. Not being able to contact him, not knowing where he is—it feels like a part of me is missing right along with him.”

“He’s your first love,” Claudia whispered, trying her best to be understanding of a situation she couldn’t even imagine going through.

“He’s my only love.” Archie corrected her, and then after a moment he asked, “Is it weird that I’ve never wanted anyone else? I mean, I’ve never even contemplated loving someone who wasn’t Cook.”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” Claudia assured him, tears finally spilling freely over her own cheeks. “I think it’s sweet and passionate and—true.”

“How do you even begin to let go of something like that?”


	17. Chapter Seventeen & Epilogue

A Soldier’s Love  
Chapter 17 

The phone was ringing as Archie entered the house. He quickly put his groceries down and grabbed the cordless receiver. He didn’t bother checking the caller ID because he knew it was most likely his mom or Beth. There were but a few people who still called using the landline. 

He smiled upon hearing Beth’s voice on the other line. “Hey, Beth. It’s been a while.”

“Is everything ok?” She asked, taking on that motherly tone that Archie had grown accustomed to hearing. 

“Everything is fine. I’m fine. I’ve just been busy.” He propped the phone against his shoulder and proceeded to put away some of his groceries as he listened to David’s mother. “You think I’m avoiding you? I promise, I’m not. Why would I?” 

It had been weeks since he’d had any contact at all with David’s family, and though he felt bad—considering how close they’d become over the years—he found that in some minute way, it did help him go on with everyday life. Mostly, he’d just been working a lot and spending time with his own family and some friends from college that he’d recently reconnected with. 

“Fair enough,” Beth finally agreed. “Anyway, we are having a cookout next Saturday. Just some family and close friends. We’d like for you to join us if you don’t have other plans.”

“Oh,” Archie winced at the thought of spending the day with David’s family. Naturally, David was always in Archie’s thoughts, but he was trying to distance himself from everything—and sadly, everyone—that reminded him too much of his fiancé. It was, of course, different at home because they'd built everything there together. David would always be a part of that no matter what happened, and Archie never wanted it to change. Home was a sanctuary, a place for him to be alone with his thoughts and with David. “I uh, I’m not sure what I’m doing that day, but I’ll let you know later this week. Is that ok?”

“Yeah, that’s ok. I’ll let you go now, but I do hope you will be able to make it.”

When Beth ended their conversation a few minutes later, Archie put the phone back on the charger and saw the stack of mail that had been collecting on the counter. Most of them were bills that he could barely afford and the rest, he assumed, were junk mail. He’d taken to tossing them all on the counter when he brought them inside. Half of the time, he didn’t even look through the pile for a few days which was currently the case.

With a despairing sigh, he gathered the mail and carried it to the breakfast bar where he took a seat on one of the barstools. As he began to separate the bills from the trash, he noticed a manila envelope hidden between two mail-order catalogs. He pulled it out of the pile, noting that it was indeed, addressed to him and that it was too heavy for a simple document. Then, his breath caught in his throat as the US Army seal appeared in the upper left corner. With a bit of apprehension, he flipped the envelope over and began to open it. 

Inside, he found a neatly typed letter in which he began reading very slowly. After months of foraging and investigating, they finally decided that the chances of finding David alive were slim.

Once he finished the letter, Archie took a moment just to let it sink in. He’d known for a while that every passing day lessened the chances of David’s return, but that didn’t make it any easier. He used the back of his hand to wipe away the few stray tears that had fallen while he was reading and took a deep breath before picking up the envelope once more. There was something else gathered in the bottom corner. He held his hand out as he turned the envelope upside-down, letting the item fall onto his palm. 

Dog tags. Archie stared at the broken chain, remembering that he’d initially been told that they were found at the scene, and that David must have lost them amidst all of the commotion while they were under attack. He hadn’t thought about the significance of having them returned to him until he held them in his hand. Somehow, that made the situation more real than the actual letter explaining the Army’s decision to declare the mission now a recovery.

He sat in silence for several long moments before dropping the dog tags on the countertop and getting up to go outside. The only thing he wanted at that moment was to run. Running always helped clear his mind. 

*****

The next day, Archie dropped his mom off following Sunday services and then went home with the intentions of writing his very last lesson plan for the school year. Once he got out his planner, though, he lost all interest. In fact, the idea of doing anything music related only made him scowl with disdain. 

He decided to give Jackie a call. He hadn’t talked to her in a couple of weeks, but he was sure that she’d want to know the latest news on David, even if he didn’t really want to tell anyone. He hadn’t even mentioned it to Lupe yet. Beth, of course, was a completely different story. He knew he needed to tell her, but he couldn’t bring himself to even think about breaking those news to her. 

As soon as he told Jackie about the letter, she insisted on visiting him no matter how much he argued with her about it. When she arrived, almost two hours later, Archie met her at the door. “You know, you didn’t have to drive all the way from…”

His words died on his lips as she her flung her arms around him and hugged him tightly. “Shut up. Yes, I did.”

With a heavy sigh, Archie closed his eyes and gave in to her embrace, allowing her to offer him comfort. As he stepped back a moment later, he gave her an appreciative smile. “Really, Jackie, I’m ok.”

“You don’t have to pretend with me. I know how this feels.”

Of course, she was right. If anyone knew what he was going through, Jackie did. However, she wasn’t completely in tune with his feelings. “I know you do, but I’ve had a lot of time to think about this. I think I’ve known how this would end for a long time now. Maybe I’ve just finally started to accept it.”

Jackie gazed wearily up at him and stepped into the foyer. “You’re exhausted, Arch, and I think you’re in denial.”

Archie shook his head as he finally closed the front door. “I can’t keep hanging on to the idea that he’s coming home. I’ll go insane.”  
Jackie frowned, but quickly considered Archie’s frame of mind. “Ok,” she said. “So, we can hang out here, order food, and watch movies, or we can go out.” 

“I don’t really want to go out,” Archie told her without having to take even a second to think about it.

“Ok then! Pad Thai and Finding Nemo it is!”

Archie grinned, realizing that he was glad that Jackie was so stubborn and insisted on visiting. Maybe he really was in need of her company and randomness.

*****

The following Saturday, Archie woke up and decided to go to Beth’s cookout. He figured he couldn’t continue avoiding everyone forever. He still hadn’t said anything about the letter to Beth, nor did he plan to—not for a while at least. He’d talked to Andrew on Wednesday and he’d told Archie that the whole purpose of the cookout was to announce that the guy she’d been seeing for the better part of the year had proposed. So, with that knowledge, Archie decided not to tell anyone until later. 

“I had Mom to make cream puffs,” Archie started with a smile when Andrew opened the door and confinscated the foil wrapped platter in Archie’s hand. 

“Dude, why do you still ring the bell?”

Archie’s lips pursed in confusion as he watched Andrew turn back into the foyer while unwrapping one side of the plate. “Um, courtesy?” 

“Everyone is out in the backyard.”

Archie closed the door and followed Andrew through the house and out the back door. He had to smile at the fact that Andrew was probably the only person he could count on not to treat him like a fragile piece of glass most of the time. 

Glancing around for a moment, he noticed Beth, Neal, Kira, Andy, Jennie, and a few other familiar faces among several unfamiliar ones. It always impressed him how Beth had a tendency to adopt her boys’ friends. Even with David gone, she kept them close. Of course, after he thought about it, having them in her life probably helped lessen the void. He shook his head, trying to push any thoughts that might dampen his mood.

“Archie!” Jennie exclaimed as he walked toward her and Andy. “So good to see you! How are you?”

Archie smiled. “I’m well. How are you guys?”

“We’re,” Jennie smiled, looking sideways at Andy. “We’re good. It’s nice to be back here.”

“Are you in town long?” Archie asked, trying to make conversation without sounding as awkward as he somehow felt. 

“Just for the weekend,” Andy answered. “Neal and I have a gig Monday night in Tulsa.”

“Oh yeah? How is the band, by the way? Sorry I haven’t kept in touch since the last time you guys were here.”

“Great, actually,” Andy answered after taking a sip of his drink. “You should come to the show.”

“Yes! That’s a great idea,” Jennie agreed. “You and I could hang out like old times!” 

Archie noticed immediately how her eyes grew wider as if she’d caught herself saying something that she shouldn’t have. “Uh, yeah! Let’s do that,” he said before she could say anything else. “I think I could use a night out.”

After that, everyone seemed to stop walking on eggshells around him. Oddly, it felt good, and he spent the rest of the day enjoying everyone’s company and conversations. 

***** 

Later, Archie made his way from the kitchen to the living room. He’d made himself a cup of hot cocoa, hoping that it might help take away the chill caused by the sudden downpour of rain that had started when he left Beth’s house. By the time he’d ran from the car into the house, he was soaked. Unfortunately, a change of clothes didn’t stop him from shivering.

He didn’t bother turning on the lights in the living room as he picked up a blanket from the back of the armchair and carried it with him to the sofa where he planned to turn on the television. However, by the time he got comfortable, his mind began to wander and watching TV didn’t seem so appealing to him anymore. Instead, he opted to watch the rain.  
He’d had fun spending the day with David’s family and their old friends, but once it was over, he drove home feeling empty inside. Part of him even felt guilty over the fact that he had enjoyed the evening so much. It was almost as if he’d temporarily forgot that David wasn’t there. That’s what really got him. He didn’t want to forget David, and suddenly, he was so afraid that he might.   
The cool, spring rain was coming down in blankets outside. He watched it trickling down over the thick, glass pane of the living room window near where he sat curled up beneath a warm, fleece blanket. The dark rivulets of water remind him of his own tears that were now falling so freely from his hazel eyes. 

It had been months—seven, to be exact. One would think he had no more tears to cry, and yet they always came. Fresh torrents of loneliness and despair flooded his eyes almost every night. He longed for a day when there would be no more sleeplessness; a future in which he wouldn’t sit alone in their home reminiscing about the happier times; a time when there was no war, a time when there were no casualties, and most of all, a time when he never had to worry or hurt. 

Glancing down at the steaming mug of hot cocoa in his hands, he told himself that sooner or later that day would come. Until then, he simply had to keep pressing on; take life one day at a time. Happiness would belong to him again. Someday.

He was startled from his thoughts by the ringing of the telephone. He sighed, throwing the blanket off his legs with one hand as he set his mug down on the coffee table with the other. “Hello?” he asked as he picked up the phone, surprising himself that he’d actually picked it up before the machine did. “Beth?” He asked in confusion. 

The hysterical voice on the other line was speaking so quickly, he couldn’t understand a word she was saying. “Beth, calm down! What’s going on?” He sighed in frustration, only hearing a few words as she continued to sob into the receiver. 

After another moment, he heard the shuffling of the phone switching hands and suddenly Andrew’s voice came across the lines. “What?” Archie asked, as Andrew explained what his mother was trying to say. He grabbed the corner of the table where the phone set to keep himself from falling over as his legs threatened to buckle. “Oh my God.”

*****

The sun shined brightly through the living room window, erasing any trace of the rain that had fallen the night before. The blanket that Archie had curled up beneath now lay folded neatly on the arm of the couch where he sat waiting.

He’d been up for nearly twenty-four hours at this point. Sleep hadn’t even been an option. He’d spent part of the night pacing and watching the hands on the clock move in slow circles. Eventually he decided to clean. That task kept him busy for a while except for when he’d start thinking and end up sobbing into the roll of paper towels.

At nearly six o’clock in the morning, Andrew called to let him know when they would be arriving. That’s when he finally went to take a shower and get dressed. 

Then as he sat, waiting on the sofa, slouched over with his arms resting on his knees, he pressed his forehead against his clasped hands that held tightly to the dangling, silver dog tags as tears fell silently over his cheeks. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t heard the car pull up to the curb in front of the house until the horn blew, startling him. Turning his head, he looked out the window to see Beth’s car. He took one more deep breath before getting up to go outside. 

“Hey,” he greeted Andrew who was sitting in the front, passenger seat with the window down. 

“Hey,” Andrew gave him a nod. “You want to sit up front?”

Archie shook his head as he opened the door and silently slid into the backseat. 

For the next forty-five minutes, Archie gazed out the window of the moving car, watching as the scenery passed by. Ordinarily, the trip to Kansas City would seem like a breeze, but this time, it felt like it took hours. 

 

~*~*~Epilogue~*~*~

From Sea-Tac, they traveled a short distance to Madigan Army Medical Center in Tacoma, Washington. Going through security at the base took almost as long as the flight itself had—at least that’s what it felt like to Archie. Afterwards, he sat next to Beth and Andrew in the family lounge, waiting for someone to come get them—or something. To him, it seemed as though the hands on the clock on the wall were barely moving. “Oh gosh, what’s taking so long?” 

“Maybe they forgot about us,” Andrew suggested. 

Just as Archie was about respond, the door opened and a man dressed in light blue scrubs appeared, and behind him, still in the hallway, was David. Archie’s eyes grew wide in surprise and he felt tears spring to his eyes as relief flooded his entire body. It was as though he hadn’t believed that David was really going to be there. He’d spent so much time in the past months preparing himself for the worst, he’d stopped thinking about a positive outcome especially after receiving word from the Army just a week before. The thought made him feel ashamed. How could he have just given up on him? 

Archie stood up slowly hoping he seemed steadier than he felt. He had absolutely no idea what he was nervous about. It was just David after all. The man he’d fallen in love with; the man he’d stay in love with for as long as he lived. However, just knowing what David had been through scared him. How would that affect him this time? Would he be the same? Would he feel the same way? 

The ever-reliable tears began to spill from his tired eyes as he stepped towards David who was making his own way through the door, slowed slightly by a set of metal crutches. As he got closer, the more visible the faint bruises and nearly healed wounds became. Archie shuddered at the thought of how his fiancé must have suffered for all of those months. 

Finally when they met in the middle of the room, Archie blinked up at him, unsure of what to say. 

David simply flashed him a smile while handing one of his crutches to the orderly so he could hold out an inviting arm and said, “I know you didn’t just fly four hours to stand there and stare at me.”

“You’re here,” Archie said in a small voice.

David nodded. “I’m here.”

And with that, Archie stepped forward wrapping his arms around David as he began to sob with relief. “I was so scared.”

David supported himself with his good leg and the other crutch while wrapping his free arm around Archie and pulling him closer. “I know, baby. Me too.”

After a few moments, Archie finally lifted his head to look at David. “Are… are you ok?”

David blinked back his own tears, knowing for sure that he wasn’t anywhere near ok emotionally or mentally, but he knew that with time and the right kind of help, he would be again. So he nodded his head, looking into Archie’s eyes. “I will be. Right now I’m just a little banged up, but I’ll heal.”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Thinking of you is what kept me going,” David countered. “I made a promise that I intended to keep.” Archie sniffled as David lifted his hand, bandaged and bruised, to touch Archie’s cheek and wipe away his tears. “I love you, Archie.” 

Archie closed his eyes, letting those words fill his heart, body, and soul with warmth; a warmth that he hadn’t felt since the day David disappeared. When he opened his eyes again, he was staring into David’s bright hazel ones. He smiled as more tears blurred his vision. “I,” he began as he too reached up to cup his fiancé’s handsome face. “Have never loved you more.”

David then blinked away his own tears, letting them spill over his cheeks as he leaned in, resting his forehead on Archie’s. “Does that mean you’re still willing to marry me?” He asked in a whisper. 

“Nothing could stop me,” Archie replied without a single hint of hesitance.

David grinned and closed the space between them, claiming Archie’s lips in a slow, tender kiss.

~FIN~  
(thank GOD!)

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know or own either of the Davids, this is just my wild, twisted imagination at work....deal with it. Yeah, there is a longer disclaimer that I should add but until then, don't sue me. I have nothing anyways.


End file.
